The Death of Nearly All Software Patents? 731
An anonymous reader writes "The Patent and Trademark Office has now made clear that its newly developed position on patentable subject matter will invalidate many and perhaps most software patents, including pioneering patent claims to such innovators as Google, Inc. In a series of cases including In re Nuijten, In re Comiskey and In re Bilski, the Patent and Trademark Office has argued in favor of imposing new restrictions on the scope of patentable subject matter set forth by Congress in article 101 of the Patent Act. In the most recent of these three — the currently pending en banc Bilski appeal — the Office takes the position that process inventions generally are unpatentable unless they 'result in a physical transformation of an article' or are 'tied to a particular machine.'"
This violates my patent (Score:5, Funny)
Tied to a machine? (Score:5, Funny)
Sounds like the machine that these patents are going to be tied to is the Titanic.
Patent Pending (Score:5, Funny)
Good idea! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:This violates my patent (Score:1, Funny)
You just violated my patents on patent-ing invalidation of....
Aw fuck it...
Re:About damn time! (Score:4, Funny)
I was going to tag this... (Score:5, Funny)
suddenoutbreakofcommonsense, but holyfreakingshit conveys my feelings better.
I haven't finished reading TFA yet, but this seems huge if it pans out — not only would software patents be invalidated, but essentially all "business process" patents would get tossed out as well.
Re:Good (Score:4, Funny)
I agree with you but now I'll have to find a new sig! Damn!
Re:Patent Pending (Score:3, Funny)
Ah, good. We can then get patent lawyers and lawyers in the room at the same time. Too bad we can't patent that as a cure for insomnia. Or can we? I'm so confused....
Re:About damn time! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I was going to tag this... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:This violates my patent (Score:5, Funny)
I patented the use of curse words for humor value in Slashdot comments years ago. If I ever decide to enforce that patent, all of you fuckers are doomed.
Re:This violates my patent (Score:5, Funny)
Well you're all in deep shit, I patented "beating a dead horse through overuse of a tired old joke" way back in 1996, so you'd better get wise
This is the first post I'm making informing you of your new, patent-holding, overlord. I suggest you welcome him, you insensitive Clod!
Re:Good (Score:4, Funny)
"Ah, Mr. Lord Apathy, sir? There's this big guy in flowing white robes in the waiting room. He's got thunderbolts sticking out at odd angles and he has some sort of weird glowing mist around him. He wants to talk to you and is muttering something about 'prior art'.
Should I let him in?"
The natural workaround... (Score:5, Funny)
...is for companies to employ a "physical object" provision in their patent filings. Google's PageRank patent, for example, may change from:
"A computer implemented method of scoring a plurality of linked documents"
to:
"A computer implemented method of scoring a plurality of linked documents with possible applications as a shower curtain"
Re:Good (Score:3, Funny)
> By the way my patent on the biological reproductive process in humans will go into affect today.
> So all you with kids prepare to cough up.
Well, you're on /. so nobody will pay you a dime, unless you've also patented the stimulation of self genital organs with one's hand.
Oooo, a line in the sand? (Score:2, Funny)
I love a good mystery (and polls). So, is it the PTO saying:
a) "Cap'n she can't take much more!" (Approaching total functional failure)
b) "Go ahead, make my day." (I ain't takin' no more sh*t from you)
c) "Do you want to live forever?" (What the hell, got nothing to lose at this point.)
d) "ZOMG! pwnies!" (This acid trip is soooo righteous, man!)
The scariest part about it is, as a government office/function/bureau, the most likely answer is:
e) All of the above (Hi, my name is Sybil.)
Re:This violates my patent (Score:4, Funny)
This is the first post I'm making informing you of your new, patent-holding, overlord. I suggest you welcome him, you insensitive Clod!
I threw a chair at him but it missed and hit a statue of Natalie Portman.
Re:Good (Score:5, Funny)
The patent didn't effect me at all...
Another universe-destroying causality violation narrowly avoided...
Whew!
Re:This violates my patent (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Good (Score:3, Funny)
Software is a mixture of maths, art, sweat and donuts.
You can also add coffee/beer flavouring depending on your tastes.
Re:This violates my patent (Score:5, Funny)
I patent thinking..and I still can't find anyone infringing.
Re:This violates my patent (Score:3, Funny)
I am a software patent you insensitive clod.
Re:This violates my patent (Score:5, Funny)
You just violated my patents on patent-ing invalidation of....
...whatever it is the poem was about!
Re:This violates my patent (Score:3, Funny)
I patented memes a while ago, right now I'm waiting for /. to drown in them and everyone to use them, then all your base will be belong to me!
Re:This violates my patent (Score:3, Funny)
In Korea only old people enforce patents. In Soviet Russia, patents enforce you!
Re:Good (Score:1, Funny)
Is this related to the Moe-Shemp theorem?
Re:Good (Score:1, Funny)
Shame on us all for thinking that Porn on the Internet would have no valid use.
"Whats that you're looking at honey?"
"Oh nothing, I'm just researching prior art on a patent I saw today".
Re:This violates my patent (Score:5, Funny)
But at least we know that patent will hold up: no prior art.
Re:Good (Score:4, Funny)
Re:This violates my patent (Score:5, Funny)
Worst part about the joke-on-joke is that this really is how patent litigation is used.
Hot joke on joke action, only $9.95/mo
Dear gods, I need sleep/death.
Re:Good (Score:1, Funny)
Flatly incorrect? We might even say... Patently incorrect.
Re:This violates my patent (Score:5, Funny)
You just violated my patents on patent-ing invalidation of....
...whatever it is the poem was about!
Right, to the airlock with the lot of you!
Re:This violates my patent (Score:4, Funny)
I threw a chair at him but it missed and hit a statue of Natalie Portman.
In Soviet Russia, Natalie Portman beats a dead horse and throws chair and hits YOU!!!
Re:This violates my patent (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Patent Pending (Score:5, Funny)
We can then get patent lawyers and lawyers in the room at the same time. Too bad we can't smuggle a small yield tactical nuclear device onto the premises. Or can we?
Fixed that for you. :)
Re:Patent Pending (Score:3, Funny)
Re:This violates my patent (Score:2, Funny)