Microsoft Applies For "Digital Manners" Patent 289
SirLurksAlot writes "Ars Technica reports that Microsoft has recently applied for a patent for a technology which would attempt to enforce manners in the use of cell phones, digital cameras, DVRs and other digital devices. According to the article, the technology could be used to bring common social conventions such as 'No flash photography' and 'No talking out loud' to these devices by disabling features or disabling the device entirely. The article also points out that the technology could be implemented in situations involving sensitive equipment, such as in airplanes or hospitals. The patent application itself is also an interesting read, as it describes a number of possible uses for the technology, including 'in particular zones to limit the speed and/or acceleration of vehicles, to require the use of lights, to verify an indication of insurance coverage and/or current registration, or the like.' While this technology could certainly be of interest to any number of organizations one has to wonder how the individuals who own devices which obey so-called 'Digital Manners Policies' would feel about it."
Innovation (Score:4, Funny)
Good job (Score:5, Funny)
[Bad manners deleted]
It's a feature not a bug (Score:5, Funny)
manners (Score:5, Funny)
Bank robbers cheers (Score:5, Funny)
Cell phone users are also wondering why their phones tend to stop working every other minute. Investigation shows one out of five person in the public carrying their own "no phone calls here" devices arround.
Finally paparazzis express no worries. They will just keep a slightly longer distance to their targets and thus avoid any "no photos here" devices carried arround by most celebrities.
Military/Industrial Recipe (Score:1, Funny)
2. Pentagon Gets Kill Switch For Planes
3. Profit!
Re:It's a feature not a bug (Score:5, Funny)
No, no, no, it's a great idea, now they can say: "It's not working? ... Yeah, that's a feature not a bug, we've got a patent for that one." Sounds like a proper business strategy for me.
Re:Or here's an idea (Score:4, Funny)
Not if the other ten percent are really, really bad.
Re:They just don't get it do they (Score:4, Funny)
To be fair, they stopped everyone else doing it too.
Re:Innovation (Score:5, Funny)
dgtlmnrs.exe: WARNING: No Microsoft bashing.
Re:Or here's an idea (Score:3, Funny)
Demolition Man, anyone? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Good job (Score:5, Funny)
Why stop with digital gadgets? (Score:2, Funny)
That allows us to enforce the wishes of the religious right and disable the mothers that attempt abortion. But that would be counter productive, wouldn't it?
We could also zap those pesky homosexuals and zap the libido of everybody that makes love to anybody he is not married to. Amend the constitution!
And off course we can disable everybody's arm that does attempt to vote the wrong party at the ballot box. Then we can finally use clean voting machines that can't be tampered with.
Talk talk (Score:5, Funny)
Manners are patented? (Score:1, Funny)
Sorry, I do not want to be rude, but being polite would be a patent violation here. Even if I am not a device, obeying the signal would be a patent violation, yes? (IF it gets granted, off course)
Re:Prior Art ? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:It's a feature not a bug (Score:3, Funny)
Re:It's a feature not a bug (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Prior Art ? (Score:1, Funny)
technology isn't the answer to social problems (Score:5, Funny)
This patent advocates a
(x) technical ( ) legislative ( ) market-based ( ) vigilante
approach to enforcing manners. Your idea will not work. Here is why it won't work. (One or more of the following may apply to your particular idea.)
( ) No one will be able to find the guy or collect the money
( ) It is defenseless against brute force attacks
( ) It will improve manners for two weeks and then we'll be stuck with it
(x) Users of electronic devices will not put up with it
( ) Microsoft will not put up with it
(x) Apple will not put up with it
( ) The police will not put up with it
(x) Requires too much cooperation from asshats
(x) Requires immediate total cooperation from everybody at once
(x) Many electronics users cannot afford to lose business or alienate potential employers
(x) Anyone could anonymously destroy anyone else's career or business
Specifically, your plan fails to account for
(x) Laws expressly prohibiting it
(x) Lack of centrally controlling authority
(x) Asshats
(x) Jurisdictional problems
( ) Unpopularity of weird new taxes
(x) Unpopularity of weird new devices
( ) Public reluctance to accept weird new forms of money
(x) Susceptibility of protocols other to attack
(x) Willingness of users to install OS patches to their existing devices
( ) Joe jobs and/or identity theft
( ) Technically illiterate politicians
and the following philosophical objections may also apply:
(x) Ideas similar to yours are easy to come up with, yet none have ever been shown practical
( ) We should be able to talk about Viagra in the movie theater without being censored
(x) Countermeasures should not involve sabotage of privately owned devices
(x) Countermeasures must work if phased in gradually
( ) Why should we have to trust you and your servers?
( ) Incompatibility with open source or open source licenses
( ) Feel-good measures do nothing to solve the problem
(x) I don't want the government controlling my iPhone
( ) Killing them that way is not slow and painful enough
Furthermore, this is what I think about you:
( ) Sorry dude, but I don't think it would work.
(x) This is a stupid idea, and you're a stupid person for suggesting it.
( ) Nice try, assh0le! I'm going to find out where you live and burn your house down!
Re:It's a feature not a bug (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Or here's an idea (Score:2, Funny)
Masters of Courtesy (Score:2, Funny)
That Does It! (Score:3, Funny)
Anyone who actually installs Windows as an act whether scripted or not will have to pay me a fee for doing so.
This also applies to anyone working for Microsoft and right down to Bill Gates.
This in no way applies to any other OS besides Windows.
OCP (Score:1, Funny)
Or gosh I saw Senator [xxxxx] give [xxxxx] to [xxxx]!!! Arrest his [xxx]! I have pictures.... oh [xxxx] wait, never mind.