IBM Patents Putting Handprints On Laptops

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IBM Patents Putting Handprints On Laptops 141

Posted by kdawson on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @02:32PM from the hands-off dept.

theodp writes "You can still leave your handprint in cement at Grauman's Chinese Theater. But as of Tuesday, you best not do the same on a laptop, lest you infringe on IBM's new patent for the Portable Computer with a Hand Impression, an 'invention' that Big Blue explains makes balancing the portable computer on a user's hand easier."

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IBM Patents Putting Handprints On Laptops

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This is a great idea (Score:3, Funny)

by Lostlander ( 1219708 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @02:39PM (#23479918)

I think I'm going to patent a process by which a footprint is left in a SiO2 water suspension and used for tracing the location of an individual.

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Looks at his Laptop... (Score:3, Funny)

by hyperz69 ( 1226464 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @02:41PM (#23479966)

Sees handprints all over it's exterior.

Oh crap, I hope IBM will lease the technology to me cheaply ;\

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Re:what next? (Score:3, Funny)

by xpuppykickerx ( 1290760 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @02:44PM (#23480020)

but what if you want to go lefty and pretent it's someone else?

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Exactly (Score:3, Funny)

by JonTurner ( 178845 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @02:49PM (#23480084) Journal

Makes me want to patent an impression of my boot in the rear end of the reviewer who approved this patent.

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Re:what next? (Score:5, Funny)

by db32 ( 862117 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @02:49PM (#23480088) Journal

I think if you are putting digit imprints you probably don't have a girl to worry about as that particular body part is already shaped correctly for it's corresponding girl part. The digit imprints would clearly be for those who lack access to the corresponding girl part.

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The next big invention... (Score:4, Funny)

by imyy4u3 ( 1290108 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @02:53PM (#23480148)

...a biometric laptop that is "ergonomically designed" for being "carried" on your "lap" while looking at porn. It is called the Magnum Laptop for the big boys, and the Tiny Laptop in China.

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Re:I don't get it... (Score:5, Funny)

by dreamchaser ( 49529 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @02:53PM (#23480154) Homepage Journal

I agree. IBM deserves a hand for this. I'm sure it will leave a lasting impression on the laptop market.

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Re:just another take... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @03:03PM (#23480308)

What if I really, really want a question? Pretty please with sugar on top?

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Re:How about a lap impression? (Score:4, Funny)

by realisticradical ( 969181 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @03:05PM (#23480336) Homepage

Daddy, why is there a hole in your laptop?

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Insensitive bastards! (Score:4, Funny)

by DaveV1.0 ( 203135 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @03:24PM (#23480638) Journal

I don't have a hand. I have a flipper!

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Re:What if (Score:4, Funny)

by Smallpond ( 221300 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @04:15PM (#23481554) Homepage Journal

Then IBM would have to redesign with smaller sensors.

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Balance on hand? Who cares? (Score:4, Funny)

by PPH ( 736903 ) writes: on Tuesday May 20, 2008 @08:15PM (#23485414)

First one to the patent office with the laptop with two kneecap impressions on the bottom wins the big bucks!

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IBM Patents Putting Handprints On Laptops 141

IBM Patents Putting Handprints On Laptops More Login

IBM Patents Putting Handprints On Laptops

This is a great idea (Score:3, Funny)

Looks at his Laptop... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:what next? (Score:3, Funny)

Exactly (Score:3, Funny)

Re:what next? (Score:5, Funny)

The next big invention... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:I don't get it... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:just another take... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:How about a lap impression? (Score:4, Funny)

Insensitive bastards! (Score:4, Funny)

Re:What if (Score:4, Funny)

Balance on hand? Who cares? (Score:4, Funny)

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