Mormon Church Goes After WikiLeaks

An anonymous reader writes "The Mormon Church has instructed its lawyers to gag the Internet over WikiLeaks' release of the 1968 and 1999 versions of its confidential handbook for Church leaders. Apart from attacking WikiLeaks, legal demands were sent to Jimmy Wales of the WikiMedia foundation for a WikiNews article merely linking to the material, and scribd.com has also been censored. WikiLeaks has (of course) refused to remove the documents."

"Gag the Internet"

[Finallyjoined!!!]

That would be as easy as pushing water uphill with a sharp stick :-)

South Park Ref.

[Anonymous Coward]

Mormons trying to gag the internet DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB DUMB

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[Rob the Bold]

That would be as easy as pushing water uphill with a sharp stick :-)

"Dum, dum, dum, dum, DUM!"

Re:How come nobody ever learns from this?

[dissy]

Everyone is trying to limit information on an unlimited information supply. They can't understand what the word unlimited really means.

You mean they all work at comcast?

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[sm62704]

That would be as easy as pushing water uphill with a sharp stick :-)

John Lennon said it:

Like trying to shovel smoke
with a pitchfork
in the wind

Re:Silly Lawyers...

[pipatron]

1. * Religious
2. * Lawyer
3. * Rational and reasonable

Something is very wrong with you!

Egypt

[flyingfsck]

Interesting, I never thought of the old Egyption religions as pyramid schemes, but I suppose they were the first too.

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[AbbyNormal]

CORNY CLICHE MODE ENGAGED...

"Some m****rf****rs are always trying to ice skate uphill."

--Wesley Snipes as Blade

  EO CORNY CLICHE MODE...

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[thisissilly]

Step 1: Place stick in water. Leave enough to hold on to with both hands poking out.
Step 2: Freeze the water.
Step 3: Push the frozen water uphill with the stick.

Re:Silly Lawyers...

[zrq]

Unless they actually wanted 1000's of unconverted heathens to download and read the document in the hope that a few might be converted.

A weird kind of inverse spam :

• Church : "We don't want you to read this"
• Wikileaks : "Hey everybody, they don't want us to read this"
• Geeks : "Gotta get a copy of that"

What else would cause 1000's of geeks and nerds to actively seek out and read a church document.

The Bill Hicks Defense

[Layer 3 Ninja]

"You guys are christian, right? So forgive me."

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[gehrehmee]

"Gag the Internet" I had no idea Mormons were so kinky.

Pushing Water Uphill

[FurtiveGlancer]

It's quite easy, if you freeze the water into the shape of a wheel and put the sharp stick through the middle.

"What do they teach in the schools these days?"

Re:Cult.

[pipatron]

For example, I'm Jewish.

Stop invoking Godwin's Law!

Re:Silly Lawyers...

[Anonymous Coward]

I goto FOSS church every Sunday(LUGs), I read the good book (slashdot), I even witness to the heathen unIntelligent Design followers. I voted for Al Gore damn it! Now you just take your Microsoft loving notions of tolerance and move along! If I don't do it or believe it or like it, then I just know its as evil as Windows, let me get an amen!

Re:Inevitably..

[Anonymous Coward]

If you have no theology then nothing is a cult, if you do then LDS is a wierd cult. Salvation through geneology, weird underpants, 'secret meetings'...

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[Anonymous Coward]

1. Mormon Church threatens internet
2. Mormon Church ends up with a new "boyfriend" named Reality
3. Prophet

Re:Inevitably..

[urcreepyneighbor]

The "Mormons" in El Dorado weren't the same religion as the "Mormons" in the OP.

Oh, get real.

And speaking of which, "well-documented fraudster" is easy to say as an AC.

He was a conman and anyone who claims to be a Mormon today is either intellectually lazy or a conman.

What say you walk around that cloak of secrecy and provide some first hand accounts of Joseph Smith's fraud?

First hand? Wait, what? You mean travel back in time, allow myself to be conned by him, and then come back here and give you a report?

Ask your Super Daddy in the Sky to send me back in time. I mean, wow, if he can create the universe... certainly he can send me back in time! :)

Re:Silly Lawyers...

[pipatron]

I goto FOSS church every Sunday

Heathen! Thou shall not GOTO anywhere!

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[Anonymous Coward]

"Gag the Internet" I had no idea Mormons were so kinky.

Q: What is the difference between Mormons and Muslims?
A: Mormons want their 72 virgins now....

Re:Inevitably..

[fahrbot-bot]

Persons who are considering an elective transsexual operation should not be baptized.

As opposed to "non-elective" transsexual surgery?

• Nurse: Doctor! He's going into cardiac arrest.
• Doctor: Let's get that penis off - stat!

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[Fishead]

My Dad used to always say "Poking butter up a wildcat's ass"

I find it gives a good mental picture of difficult, and not worth trying.

It's taken care of...

[ah.clem]

I downloaded the PDF and sent it back to them - problem resolved.

ah.clem

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[skuzzlebutt]

If you dig deep enough in the wikileak chain, I think they originally said something about "ball-gag the intern", but you know how the intertubes twist everything all up...

Re:Silly Lawyers...

[inviolet]

• Religious
• Lawyer
• Rational and reasonable

Something is very wrong with you!

Nah. Religion is a rootkit. Once you get it installed, it prevents you from seeing certain files in your filesystem or inspecting certain processes, but your CPU otherwise works normally.

Re:Inevitably..

[Alpha830RulZ]

Hm-m-m. Responds to cited source with ad hominum attack. Persuasive? I think not.

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[sm62704]

Sounds like time isn't all he had on his hands!

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[Anonymous Coward]

Disclaimer: IAAM

So, how does the magic underwear feel?

Mormons Still Practice Plural Marriage

[Jizzbug]

Also, most Mormons (myself included) believe that the practice of plural marriage will be re-instituted prior to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ (some suspect it will be re-instituted after the collapse of the U.S. economy, when the Saints are called to gather in Zion: Jackson County, Missouri [Kansas City]).

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[Dahamma]

My favorite analogy comes from Joe Rogan on News Radio:

"Dude, you can't take something off the Internet.. that's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool."

Why do the mormons get picked on so much?

[stuntmanmike]

Because their mythology is ridiculous and easily disproved.

Hey, at least Wikileaks believes in Mormonism

[willutah]

From the article, "WikiLeaks will remain a place where people from around the world can safely reveal the truth."

So as a Mormon I get a warm feeling when I see WikiLeaks equating the church handbook of instructions with truth!

Re:Mencken said it best

[DamnStupidElf]

It's slightly awkward watching a pagan chew jesus up without knowing it. Some might say there's a lack of propriety in such an act. Sort of like sneaking veal into a vegan's tofu burger. Not to mention, jesus has to sit around in some unbeliever's gut for a day or two. He has better things to do. Just bring your own Spaghetti or Unicorn Flakes to mass if you want to participate.

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[immcintosh]

I think the general consensus is that any religion badass enough to require the carrying of a sword should be excused for also mandating magic chastity underwear.

EULAs

[Rob the Bold]

The reason that happens is 1) Receiving the Eucharist during Communion is a sign of unity. If you're not Catholic, it'd be contradictory to that unative message to recieve it and 2)a Biblically-based belief that people who receive Jesus's Body and Blood (which is what Catholics hold that it really and truly is) unworthily, that is, either in a state of disbelief or in a state of great sin, basically bring a bunch of bad things down on themselves. So it's a theologically protective measure, and it applies to Catholics as well.

Man, leave it to the Catholics to attach a EULA to the Eucharist.

Re:"Gag the Internet"

[ins0m]

This gives the Sikh a moment to reflect on why he is taking his pants off.

Or to take a moment to curse Krodh for that second helping of curry.