IBM Trying To Patent Timed Code Inspection

theodp writes "A just-published IBM patent application for a Software Inspection Management Tool claims to improve software quality by taking a chess-clock-like approach to code walkthroughs. An inspection rate monitor with 'a pause button, a resume button, a complete button, a total lines inspected indication, and a total lines remaining to be inspected indication' keeps tabs on participants' progress and changes color when management's expectations — measured in lines per hour — are not being met."

sounds fantastic

[Anonymous Coward]

I know I'm most careful and attentive to detail when I feel like someone's looking over my shoulder timing my progress.

Perhaps a good patent

[NialScorva]

which they'll use to sue anyone who's dumb enough to use this technique

What it means

[Anonymous Coward]

changes color when management's expectations...are not being met.

Translation: Your PHB needs it color coded to know what's going on.

What about code WRITING speed???

[Baldrson]

I get dibs on the patent for measuring whether programmers meet management expectations for lines of code per hour!

In fact, I think programmers should meet management expectations for keystrokes per second including backspace! I mean backspace means the programmer is correcting his mistakes!!!

Re:Note to self:

[mcsporran]

I've given you 9 women and 6 weeks...... WHERE IS THE BABY !!!!

That was my other thought

[Weaselmancer]

Right Wally. so, you write line after line of utterly meaningless horseshit to keep your line count up, and then route the data to a place where it gets commented out... and then follow that with line after line of craptastic documentation.

Bingo, sir. Programmers are excellent at beating the system. That's our job. Figuring out systems.

You're gonna see a lot of code like this:

for(
// i holds the count
int i=0;
// The next line makes sure we count to ten
i<=10;
// This increments the count
i++)
{
// Let's do our function.
doWork();
// And close the loop.
}

Sounds like a real blast, IBM. Good thinking.

Re:what a stupid stupid idea

[arth1]

Someone I know was told to increase lines-of-code output by 20%, not counting comments. He immediately complied and exceeded expectations by switching to K&R style, declaring function variables on separate lines instead of inline, and placing { on a separate line.
He was ready to place semicolons on a separate line too, if management wanted even higher efficiency.

Re:Note to self:

[njcoder]

Do you hear that? That's the loud roar of all the people you just described patting themselves on the back for not being one of the people you just described.

So.. this is a complex soln to documentation?

[RincewindTVD]

Brilliant! I'll implement this and finally all the code will be written with documentation!

Re:Note to self:

[Em Ellel]

... or seek assistance from certain overseas adoption agencies that might be interested in such a trade.

...and we are back to outsourcing....

Re:What about code WRITING speed???

[Original Replica]

I get dibs on the patent for measuring whether programmers meet management expectations for lines of code per hour!

OK but I call dibs on the patent for software that measures if managers are alienating and burning out their underlings at the specified rate. Product producing employees need a high turnover rate to keep our product "fresh" and "innovative". Do you like my new tie? It matches my BMW.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

We're in a terrible rush.

[Trevin]

Don't rush me sonny. You rush a miracle man , you get rotten miracles.