Senator Proposes to Monitor All P2P Traffic for Illegal Files

Senator Proposes to Monitor All P2P Traffic for Illegal Files 626

Posted by Zonk on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:19AM from the kind-of-strains-the-mind-to-think-about-huh dept.

mytrip writes "Senator Joe Biden (D-Del) has proposed an ambitious plan, costing on the order of $1 billion, aimed at curtailing illegal activities via P2P networks. His plan involves utilizing new software to monitor peer-to-peer traffic on an ongoing basis. 'At an afternoon Senate Judiciary subcommittee hearing about child exploitation on the Internet, Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) said he was under the impression it's "pretty easy to pick out the person engaged in either transmitting or downloading violent scenes of rape, molestation" simply by looking at file names. He urged use of those techniques by investigators to help nab the most egregious offenders."

Senator Proposes to Monitor All P2P Traffic for Illegal Files

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WHAT!?! (Score:5, Funny)

by Ceiynt ( 993620 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:21AM (#23103184)

pretty easy to pick out the person engaged in either transmitting or downloading violent scenes of rape, molestation" simply by looking at file names. Ok, so all my Metallica files will be relabled (Not Metallica_Not Illegal file_Ignore). That should keep the feds off me.

Aw jeez Joe... (Score:4, Funny)

by beavis88 ( 25983 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:23AM (#23103204)

And here I have been giving you credit for not being a total tool. How wrong I was...

Post Attachment: Cowboy_Neal_Riding_Congressman.jpg

Hmmm - just rename the files (Score:3, Funny)

by GuyverDH ( 232921 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:24AM (#23103212)

Give them all names like "Senator Joe Biden's Personal Photo and Video Stash.tbz"

ugh (Score:5, Funny)

by jollyreaper ( 513215 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:25AM (#23103234)

I hate it when they can't keep the script straight. The dems are supposed to be the stupid ones, the republicans are supposed to be the evil ones. Quit horning in on their territory!

Uh-oh... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:28AM (#23103282)

...I suppose I should stop sharing the file US_Govt_Rapes_Citizens_Rights.doc lest I be marked as one of "the most egregious offenders"

From now on... (Score:4, Funny)

by zerocool^ ( 112121 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:30AM (#23103336) Homepage Journal

From now on, I'm renaming all the tarballs I package.

tar -cvf XXX-9yo-boys-blowjobs-and-crystal-meth.tar dovecot-1.0-stable/

~Wx

Seems easy enough.... (Score:3, Funny)

by spookymonster ( 238226 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:34AM (#23103380)

... we wait for the Senators to open the file "report_on_perverts_downloading_rape_and_molestation_files.doc" and then BAM! arrest the whole lot of them.

Genius, I tell ya!

Re:From now on... (Score:5, Funny)

by kotj.mf ( 645325 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:36AM (#23103410)

> tar -cvf XXX-9yo-boys-blowjobs-and-crystal-meth.tar dovecot-1.0-stable/

I was thinking something more along the lines of:

cp never_gonna_give_you_up.avi XXX-9yo-boys-blowjobs-and-crystal-meth.avi

Re:WHAT!?! (Score:5, Funny)

by LMacG ( 118321 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:36AM (#23103414) Journal

Hmmmmm, what am I going to do with this file therapist.avi?

Re:WHAT!?! (Score:5, Funny)

by mwvdlee ( 775178 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:42AM (#23103498) Homepage

I propose using "JoeBiden_[number].jpg" as a generic filename for all pornographic material.

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:3, Funny)

by neersign ( 956437 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @09:52AM (#23103644)

and both Reps and Dems continually find ways to waste my money and tax me more. Some of the things these people come up with is absolutely ridiculous. Did you know that in Maryland, our senate/congress just passed a very important bill to name our official state cake? Seriously. These people get payed with our tax dollars to sit in a room and discuss these things, and they just raised our state sales tax because they have so many more excellent things to talk about. Thank you for wasting my money, Government, because I can't think of a better way to spend it myself.

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

by phoomp ( 1098855 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @10:31AM (#23104310)

I suppose he'll be looking for file names such as: "This file contains illegal content)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:5, Funny)

by Dancindan84 ( 1056246 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @10:36AM (#23104416)

People have of course screwed with filenames just to see what happens (much more in Kazaa/Limewire than Bit-torrent), probably to test Rule 34, with interesting results;
Yeah, I love that bash.org entry too: http://bash.org/?572066 [bash.org]

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:4, Funny)

by UncleTogie ( 1004853 ) * writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @10:49AM (#23104728) Homepage Journal

So change a few to "JoeBidenHavingSexWithPreteens.mpg" and watch the fun begin!

FYI (Score:5, Funny)

by Dancindan84 ( 1056246 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @10:50AM (#23104750)

It's a lie...

Re:WHAT!?! (Score:4, Funny)

by mwvdlee ( 775178 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @11:03AM (#23104968) Homepage

Perhaps we could just encode filenames in Joe/Biden binary.
A file named "nasty_barely_legal_sicko_porn.jpg" would become something like "JoeJoeBidenJoeBidenBidenJoeJoe BidenBidenJoeJoeJoeJoeBiden BidenBidenBidenJoeJoe BidenBidenBidenJoe JoeBidenBidenJoeJoeJoe
JoeBidenBidenJoeBidenBiden BidenJoeBidenJoeJoeJoeJoe JoeBidenJoeBidenBidenJoeJoe BidenBidenJoeJoeJoeJoeBiden BidenJoeBidenBidenBidenJoe.jpg".

Pfft. no biggy (Score:2, Funny)

by IKILLEDTROTSKY ( 1197753 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @11:16AM (#23105216)

If they do implement this filter it still wouldn't know l337 speak. Which is fine since I've been naming all my files things like: T3h_Ul71m473_ch1ld3_pr0ns!!!!1.avi regardless of content for years anyway.

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

by Kierthos ( 225954 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @11:34AM (#23105574) Homepage

May I suggest that we start renaming files to "Joe_Biden_is_an_ignorant_prick"?

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

by Discordantus ( 654486 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @11:34AM (#23105578)

As far as I know that defense probably wouldn't work. It's akin to leaving your gun on the kitchen table. In the US, the use of various tools implies knowledge & responsible handling. Unless you live in California where you can get away with anything.
Hmm. So you're saying that me sharing my wifi with my neighbors is irresponsible? I thought it was called "being nice".

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:5, Funny)

by clang_jangle ( 975789 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @11:42AM (#23105720) Journal

I prefer "joe_biden_with_grandkids-EXTRA_HOTTT-XXXXX.mpg"

P2P Users Propose to Monitor All Senators... (Score:4, Funny)

by moxley ( 895517 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @11:45AM (#23105758)

P2P Users Propose to Monitor All Senators for Illegal Activity:

Including:

Taking of bribes or payment for votes/policy quid pro quo.
Hiring of prostitutes
Possession of Child Pornography
Violation of Campaign lows relating to finances
Violation of Federal "do not call" registry
etc, etc, ad infinitum.

Re:WHAT!?! (Score:4, Funny)

by Cornflake917 ( 515940 ) * writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @11:51AM (#23105874) Homepage

You shouldn't be downloading stuff from Sean Connery. I learned it the hard way when I downloaded analbumcover.avi.

Re:The man's a genius! (Score:3, Funny)

by computational super ( 740265 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @11:56AM (#23105954)

Joe Biden, I would guess.

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

by billcopc ( 196330 ) writes: <vrillco@yahoo.com> on Thursday April 17, 2008 @12:28PM (#23106534) Homepage

I'd rather see this guy get Rickrolled halfway to hell, then sued by Rick Astley for downloading his song.

Oh I would PAY to see that.

Leet Speak will Foil Sen Biden (Score:3, Funny)

by DarthTeufel ( 751532 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @12:51PM (#23106904)

C47CH ^^3 N0\/\/ j03 8id3n

Re:Remember, Kids (Score:3, Funny)

by IronChef ( 164482 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @01:41PM (#23107732)

I love violence and boobies--where's the party for ME?

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:3, Funny)

by LucidBeast ( 601749 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @02:26PM (#23108416)

I agreed with you even before realizing I had read "wifi" as "wife".

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:3, Funny)

by Danny Rathjens ( 8471 ) writes: <slashdot2.rathjens@org> on Thursday April 17, 2008 @02:35PM (#23108558)

This "fixed that for you" meme is quite obnoxious. Everything on the internet is archived and when you modify someone's quote to make it look like they said something other than what they actually said there is now a lie about what they said in the permanent record.

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

by onehippo ( 904646 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @04:19PM (#23110126)

Everything on the intartubes is archived and when you modify someone's quote to make it look like they said something other than what they actually said there is now a lie about what they said in the permanent record.

FTFY

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:3, Funny)

by cjb658 ( 1235986 ) writes: on Thursday April 17, 2008 @05:49PM (#23111346) Journal

Billions? Bah, if China has already done it, it will be easy for us to reimplement their solution. After all, we get all our other stuff from China, why not our censorshi- loyalty enforcement facilitators.

Wait...no...Joe Biden is the best senator ever! I welcome our new censorship overlor...

NO CARRIER

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Senator Proposes to Monitor All P2P Traffic for Illegal Files 626

Senator Proposes to Monitor All P2P Traffic for Illegal Files More Login

Senator Proposes to Monitor All P2P Traffic for Illegal Files

WHAT!?! (Score:5, Funny)

Aw jeez Joe... (Score:4, Funny)

Hmmm - just rename the files (Score:3, Funny)

ugh (Score:5, Funny)

Uh-oh... (Score:1, Funny)

From now on... (Score:4, Funny)

Seems easy enough.... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:From now on... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:WHAT!?! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:WHAT!?! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:4, Funny)

FYI (Score:5, Funny)

Re:WHAT!?! (Score:4, Funny)

Pfft. no biggy (Score:2, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:5, Funny)

P2P Users Propose to Monitor All Senators... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:WHAT!?! (Score:4, Funny)

Re:The man's a genius! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

Leet Speak will Foil Sen Biden (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Remember, Kids (Score:3, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:3, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:2, Funny)

Re:And people ask why I support Jesse Ventura? (Score:3, Funny)

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