Nuclear Scanning Catches a Radioactive Cat On I-5 594
Jeff recommends Seattle Times columnist Danny Westneat's story from a community meeting with Northwest border control agents. Seems their monitoring for dirty bombs from the median of Interstate 5 caught a car transporting a radioactive cat. "It turns out the feds have been monitoring Interstate 5 for nuclear 'dirty bombs.' They do it with radiation detectors so sensitive it led to the following incident. 'Vehicle goes by at 70 miles per hour... Agent is in the median, a good 80 feet away from the traffic. Signal went off and identified an isotope [in the passing car]. The agent raced after the car, pulling it over not far from the monitoring spot.' Did he find a nuke? 'Turned out to be a cat with cancer that had undergone a radiological treatment three days earlier.'"
I know the name of its owner.... (Score:5, Funny)
Lolcat (Score:5, Funny)
asking for a tag (Score:5, Funny)
Poor thing... (Score:5, Funny)
cool. (Score:5, Funny)
Radioactive cats... (Score:4, Funny)
(captcha: murders)
Look, an Isotope! (Score:5, Funny)
Holy smokes! Isotopes [thefreedictionary.com] everywhere!
I'm surprised they needed a detector to find something that, by definition, comprises all of matter.
Already invented? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:cool. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Proper investigation (Score:5, Funny)
Perhaps it was a persian cat? You can never be too careful with those Al-Qaeda supporters [mwcnews.net]
Re:I know the name of its owner.... (Score:5, Funny)
Washington--which is a quantum superposition between Oregon and Canada.
No Human in the car? (Score:5, Funny)
Cosmic.
Re:Proper investigation (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Lolcat (Score:5, Funny)
Meow (Score:2, Funny)
{puts out a saucer of milk}
Schrödinger's cat! (Score:4, Funny)
OMG, they measured and saw it! the paradox is solved!
Re:It's all fun and games... (Score:5, Funny)
FBI goon: "What's the matter??? CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE?"
Re:I know the name of its owner.... (Score:4, Funny)
The thing that worries me is... (Score:5, Funny)
I do not want a hot cat sitting in my lap.
In Soviet Russia... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I know the name of its owner.... (Score:5, Funny)
'catatomic'
Re:cool. (Score:5, Funny)
KTHXBAI
Re:The thing that worries me is... (Score:5, Funny)
Obviously a slashdotting geek to the very core. I'll take a hot pussy on my lap any day of the week.
Re:It's all fun and games... (Score:2, Funny)
The man from the cat detector van. (Score:5, Funny)
S: What man?
C: The man from the cat detector van.
S: The looney detector van, you mean.
C: Look, it's people like you what cause unrest.
S: What cat detector van?
C: The cat detector van from the Ministry of Housinge.
S: Housinge?
C: It was spelt like that on the van (I'm very observant!). I never seen so
many bleeding aerials. The man said that their equipment could pinpoint
a purr at four hundred yards! And Eric, being such a happy cat, was a
piece of cake.
S: How much did you pay for this?
C: Sixty quid, and eight for the fruit-bat.
S: What fruit-bat?
C: Eric the fruit-bat.
S: Are all your pets called Eric?
Re:So let's say... (Score:3, Funny)
When my father was radioactive... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:cool. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:cool. (Score:2, Funny)
Excerpt from terrorist handbook (Score:5, Funny)
Warning. Re:This is Nothing (Score:3, Funny)
If the terrorists read about this, then they would plan like below:
1. Come to Oak Ridge, TN with an empty 2-tonner truck.
2. Squash and drive over thousands of radioactive frogs in a matter of weeks shouting their usual battle cry "death to infi..."etc.
3. Buy a Geiger counter locally and check for enough radioactivity.
4. Skip to Mexico/border country and get a dirty bomb (I was watching "Goldfinger" Bond movie yesterday), the iodine kind which emits less radioactivity.
5. Load onto this radioactive-tired truck (of course you would be stupid enough to drive out from TN all the way to Mexico on same tires and expect same radioactivity. So you stove away the tires and buy new/used ones which are NOT radioactive to drive to mexico. When you drive back you latch on the radioactive tires).
6. Border guards stop your truck since it seems to be glowing with radioactivity. They look at the tires and the tired guys at wheel. Of course the terrorists would be telling the truth about Oak Ridge TN and telling them they had just made a delivery to that place. They can also produce a newspaper clipping or something which proves even the frogs are radioactive and ask the border guards to talk to the Sherrif there to prove it.
7. Border guards allow the truck with "Medical Cargo" to enter US.
8. About two weeks later somewhere an incident happens....
9. Bush gets elected for a 3rd Time after tearing up the constitutionand is actually seen on Fox News using it as toilet paper to wipe cheney's ass with it.
10. Cheney asks "So?"
There, see the probabilities of imagination?
The KGB was right.
Re:doesn't add up (Score:5, Funny)
This is a story about Schrodinger's cat. This is exactly the kind of result you should expect.
T
Re:So let's say... (Score:5, Funny)
Plus if you live in Montana or California, tough luck. These states support terrorism by rejecting REAL ID and thus endangering you! (endangering you by your rendition to Gitmo).
Re:cool. (Score:3, Funny)
Oh! Come On. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Lolcat (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Ha, ha (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Ha, ha (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Oblig. 'Heroes' Reference (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I know the name of its owner.... (Score:5, Funny)
Don't feel bad for the cat (Score:4, Funny)
Re:cool. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:In Soviet Russia... (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, and I have the solution. (Score:3, Funny)
</satire>
Hmm... (Score:3, Funny)
ObFuturama (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I know the name of its owner.... (Score:1, Funny)
Which is, of course, the capital of the Eigen States of America.