Wikileaks Airs Scientology Black Ops

Wikileaks Airs Scientology Black Ops 509

Posted by kdawson on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:25PM from the no-fair-game dept.

An anonymous reader alerts us to new material up on Wikileaks: 208 scanned pages (in one PDF) relating to the Church of Scientology and its former "Office of Special Affairs" employee (and subsequent apostate) Frank Oliver. "The documents are dated between 1986 and 1992 inclusive, when, according to the file, Frank Oliver was declared a 'suppressive person' and excommunicated. Frank Oliver should be able to verify the material and has appeared in the media before on subjects relating to the church. Starting on page 107, the document shows that at the time of writing the Church of Scientology was still actively engaged in black propaganda (especially concerning psychiatry), 'fair game' and infiltration."

Wikileaks Airs Scientology Black Ops

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One word (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:28PM (#22723756)

PWNED.

slashdotted (Score:5, Funny)

by EmbeddedJanitor ( 597831 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:30PM (#22723772)

I bet this is a Scientology plot to overload wikileaks.

Here come da judge! (Score:5, Funny)

by Black Parrot ( 19622 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:31PM (#22723782)

Bet that won't result in any legal harassment.

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:5, Funny)

by ecavalli ( 1216014 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:33PM (#22723802) Homepage

Fasten the tinfoil hats boys and girls. This one is gonna get messy.

Would anyone like to wager how long it will be before we see a headline announcing the mysterious disappearance of Wikileaks' founders, their families and pets and anyone they've ever spoken to?

So, (Score:2, Funny)

by Warll ( 1211492 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:33PM (#22723806) Homepage

First they had troubles with some foreign bank now there posting Scientology documents. Next step the MAFIAA?

Can't my people get a break? (Score:-1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:43PM (#22723884)

Black plague, Black Friday, now Black Propaganda?! Can't a brother catch a break?

Prepare for the migration... (Score:4, Funny)

by tubapro12 ( 896596 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:43PM (#22723890) Journal

...as thousands of CoS members migrate to Sweden to physically destroy the server...

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:3, Funny)

by Ron_Fitzgerald ( 1101005 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:43PM (#22723898)

dl'd @ 400k in 30 secs from a torrent. Who said BitTorrent was for nothing but bad.

On a completely unrelated note... (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:45PM (#22723902)

My friends and I walked into the London scientology building while drunk and demanded a stress test. We were turned away. Truly the lowpoint in my life when not even Scientology wants me :

Re:Remember what happened last time (Score:5, Funny)

by Abeydoun ( 1096003 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:51PM (#22723948)

Maybe...
My condolences to your family, good sir.

This is hilarious (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:53PM (#22723960)

Check out how the contract begins:

I FRANK OLIVER DO HEREBY AGREE to enter into employment with the SEA ORGANIZATION and, being of sound mind, do fully realize and agree to abide by its purpose which is to get ETHICS IN on this PLANET AND THE UNIVERSE and, fully and without reservation, subscribe to the discipline, mores and conditions of this group and pledge to abide by them.

THEREFORE, I CONTRACT MYSELF TO THE SEA ORGANIZATION FOR THE NEXT BILLION YEARS.
being of sound mind...CONTRACT MYSELF FOR THE NEXT NEXT BILLION YEARS... :)

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:5, Funny)

by ecavalli ( 1216014 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:56PM (#22723978) Homepage

Xenu, I believe.

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:2, Funny)

by cdrdude ( 904978 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @08:58PM (#22724000) Journal

People like you are why need an additional rating (Score:5, Awesome)
Thank you for your quick thinking good sir; I am seeding it now.

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:4, Funny)

by junglee_iitk ( 651040 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @09:08PM (#22724060)

Some one summaries the controversial lines please, so that we can continue hot Sceintology bashing...

Ugh... I hate PDF... it makes me look like someone interested in actually reading TFA...

Re:slashdotted (Score:2, Funny)

by renegadesx ( 977007 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @09:10PM (#22724076)

It worked! Damn that Xenu! sneaky little bigger.

Send them to Venus (Score:5, Funny)

by SlashWombat ( 1227578 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @09:16PM (#22724116)

Easily fixed. First we modify all the old DC3's we can get our hands on by adding shuttle solid fuel boosters. Then we dress up as Aliens ...
We then encourage all the COS members to migrate to Venus to separate them from the unclean non-believers.
IMHO, COS members are all "B Ark" material anyway!

Re:So, (Score:5, Funny)

by Cctoide ( 923843 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @09:22PM (#22724152) Homepage

And then the Illuminati!

Hold on, there's someone at my do--

Re:slashdotted (Score:4, Funny)

by Foobar of Borg ( 690622 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @09:48PM (#22724310)

I mean, the CoS would easily bomb a data center if they could find one
You mean, with a Tom Cruise Missile?

Re:organizations that prohibit criticism (Score:5, Funny)

by MrNaz ( 730548 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @10:16PM (#22724434) Homepage

I am a Muslim and I will not tolerate you criticising me for not tolerating criticism!

Wait...

Dammit!

Re:slashdotted (Score:4, Funny)

by mOdQuArK! ( 87332 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @10:45PM (#22724614)

It jumps up and down on the server until the server crashes from embarrassment.

This just in... (Score:5, Funny)

by etherlad ( 410990 ) writes: <.moc.liamg. .ta. .nostawnai.> on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @10:56PM (#22724680) Homepage

All we need is for there to be a Chinese-Scientology link and we'll have the most commented-on story ever. ... thousands of Chinese eMeters have been recalled due to high lead content! Film at eleven!

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:0, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @10:56PM (#22724684)

There seems to be a lot of 'bashing' happening on /. lately.
You must be new here.

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

by ArcherB ( 796902 ) * writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @11:02PM (#22724726) Journal

All we need is for there to be a Chinese-Scientology link and we'll have the most commented-on story ever.
Actually, it would have to be Evolution denying Chinese illegally tapping the phone lines of Scientologists causes Global Warming.

Re:So, (Score:3, Funny)

by Assassin bug ( 835070 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @11:02PM (#22724730) Journal

I'm sorry but whenever someone says, "Illuminati", I think of pizza. You see, when I was first dating my wife their family ordered a pizza from Lou Malnati's [loumalnatis.com] and I thought they said, "Illuminati's pizza". I thought, how does that work for a business philosophy for pizza? It was all very funny (and it is very good pizza).

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

by jonaskoelker ( 922170 ) writes: <`jonaskoelker' `at' `yahoo.com'> on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @11:13PM (#22724782)

All we need is for there to be a Chinese-Scientology link and we'll have the most commented-on story ever.
I for one (captcha: wisely) welcome our new Chinese DRM-loving Scientologist lawyer-wielding terrorism-inclined Vista-running meme-loving robot overlords. Netcraft says they're not eligible for being confirmed dead, as no robot was ever alive.

Now that's what I call a good story.

Re:slashdotted (Score:4, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @11:30PM (#22724880)

Those are easily picked up on gaydar.

The story from the beginning (Score:5, Funny)

by symbolset ( 646467 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @11:32PM (#22724884) Journal

At the dining room table, two couples playing bridge:
LRH: My books aren't selling. Who makes the most popular books?
RAH: The Boy Scouts. After that the Q'uran and the Bible.
LRH: Religion sure sells a lot of books.
RAH: Yeah, I thought about writing out some book for that a while back. I turned it into a short story "Gulf".
LRH: I don't think you could do it with a short story. All the big religions have high word counts. I would think a trilogy at least.
RAH: I could do it in one book.
LRH: I bet a dollar I could do it better than you.
RAH: Done and done. Now shuffle the cards.
... Three years later ...
LRH: Can you believe it? I've got groupies! They worship me!
RAH: You can have mine too if you want them. They're camped on the lawn. They're scaring Ginny. Here's your buck. The bet's over.
LRH: Win!
RAH: Whatever. Shuffle the cards.

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:3, Funny)

by RealGrouchy ( 943109 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @11:33PM (#22724888)

i wonder if the scientologists are actually creating anti-scientology fronts
I read that as "anti-scientology fonts," and thought "Wow, that is some damn subtle manipulation!"

- RG>

You've given me an idea for a wicked prank (Score:5, Funny)

by Weaselmancer ( 533834 ) writes: on Tuesday March 11, 2008 @11:58PM (#22725020)

An eMeter [wikipedia.org] is really just a wheatstone bridge, right? All they're really doing is just measuring your resistance by inducing a tiny current through you.
Go into one of these centers and have them hook you up. Lick your other palm and every so often jam a 9v battery against it. Screw with the guy's mind. Keep twitching the needle at just the right time and see if you can convince them you're L. Ron reincarnated or something like that.
If you're really good, make some sort of a Van de Graff generator and use it to build up a gigantic static charge on you before you get hooked up. See if you can actually bust the thing.

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

by Detritus ( 11846 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @12:19AM (#22725160) Homepage

L. Ron Hoover, founder of the First Church of Appliantology.

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:2, Funny)

by The One and Only ( 691315 ) * writes: <[ten.hclewlihp] [ta] [lihp]> on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @12:19AM (#22725164) Homepage

Yes. I forgot the incident where someone in Denmark drew some insulting cartoons of L. Ron Hubbard and Scientologists around the world rioted and burned down embassies.

Re:The story from the beginning (Score:5, Funny)

by Opportunist ( 166417 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @01:03AM (#22725356)

Reminds me of the old joke: "Hey Jesus, get this: The fishing club you started when you went down there? Guess what, it still exists!".

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:3, Funny)

by Zaphod-AVA ( 471116 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @01:54AM (#22725576)

Evolution denying Chinese illegally tapping the phone lines of Scientologists causes Global Warming... and it's effect on the iPhone.

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:4, Funny)

by Nefarious Wheel ( 628136 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @02:09AM (#22725630) Journal

What is a 'modern day' religion?

Well, according to Aus. Bureau of Statistics, "Jedi" is one. That is, it's resurgence is modern; it's origins were long ago, in a galaxy far far away...
Oh and I'm a strict constructionist Pastafarian myself, I guess that one's fairly new. Arrrr.

Re:Scientologists deserve a medal (Score:5, Funny)

by Grimbleton ( 1034446 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @07:14AM (#22726570)

Scientologist spotted.

Re:The story from the beginning (Score:3, Funny)

by DoctorFrog ( 556179 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @08:06AM (#22726760)

I liked the bit in 'Soap' where Bert got kidnapped by aliens and met a 6000-year-old Jewish author...

Bert: "You mean to tell me you wrote Genesis?"

Sol: "You mean to tell me you've read it?"

Re:Slashdot vs. Scientology? (Score:4, Funny)

by EveryNickIsTaken ( 1054794 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @08:19AM (#22726818)

Tom Cruise, is that you? You had me at "Xenu."

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

by VorpalRodent ( 964940 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @08:21AM (#22726836)

Offensive and non-PC comment:
I'd think that if they perhaps add some color to those robes they would be more fabulous!

Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)

by account_deleted ( 4530225 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @08:28AM (#22726884)

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

by Cro Magnon ( 467622 ) writes: on Wednesday March 12, 2008 @09:25AM (#22727306) Homepage Journal

3. As for "I see god in my children": hey, nice for you. That doesn't even rise to the level of an argument (which one would have hoped you could recognize, since you're all old and mature and wise and stuff). There's no difference between this magical thinking and the "I don't understand it so it must be magic" that children engage in when they observe magicians. (Apologies, of course, if you merely meant that the sex was so good that you "saw god"--you know, like Cheech and Chong did when they got high and played Sabbath on 78.)

I don't know about about the OP's children, but my GF's nieces made me a believer. After all, if God exists, so does Satan.

Re:Scientologists deserve a medal (Score:1, Funny)

by ASM65816 ( 1245346 ) writes: on Thursday March 13, 2008 @06:02PM (#22744468) Homepage

So you think its ok for these people to ruin peoples lives and get away with it?

Liberal Loon: I don't care if I've lost my job and my whole life has been ruined because of a bad psych report based on a stupid multiple choice test and a bunch of lies from workmates who hate me. I'll just smile and take these pills the nice psychiatrist gave me to stop me being angry at how they've ruined my life and walk the street looking for work while the nice psychiatrist drives by in his famcy car on the way to a $500/hour appointment with his next victim.

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One word (Score:2, Funny)

slashdotted (Score:5, Funny)

Here come da judge! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:5, Funny)

So, (Score:2, Funny)

Can't my people get a break? (Score:-1, Funny)

Prepare for the migration... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:3, Funny)

On a completely unrelated note... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Remember what happened last time (Score:5, Funny)

This is hilarious (Score:5, Funny)

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:5, Funny)

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:4, Funny)

Re:slashdotted (Score:2, Funny)

Send them to Venus (Score:5, Funny)

Re:So, (Score:5, Funny)

Re:slashdotted (Score:4, Funny)

Re:organizations that prohibit criticism (Score:5, Funny)

Re:slashdotted (Score:4, Funny)

This just in... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:0, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

Re:So, (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

Re:slashdotted (Score:4, Funny)

The story from the beginning (Score:5, Funny)

Re:PDF Link Broke (Score:3, Funny)

You've given me an idea for a wicked prank (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:2, Funny)

Re:The story from the beginning (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Scientologists deserve a medal (Score:5, Funny)

Re:The story from the beginning (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Slashdot vs. Scientology? (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Get 'em while they're hot (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Scientologists deserve a medal (Score:1, Funny)

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