IBM Wants To Patent Restaurant Waits

theodp writes "If all goes IBM's way, it'll soon constitute patent infringement if Bennigan's gives you a free lunch for being inconvenienced by a long wait for your meal. Big Blue is seeking a patent for its Method and Structure for Automated Crediting to Customers for Waiting, the purported 'invention' of three IBM researchers, which IBM notes, 'could be implemented completely devoid of computerization or automation of any kind.' Can we count on IBM to withdraw this patent claim, or will Big Blue weasel out of its patent reform pledge again?"

The old saying must be true.

[palegray.net]

Now there's really no such thing as a free lunch...

Re:The old saying must be true.

[Anonymous Coward]

You know, it'd be rather nice of you to apologize. You know, as a way of making up for making him wait for someone intelligent to come along and post.

Re:quick

[Vombatus]

rewards such as free beer for long bathroom waits

Leading to even more trips to the bathroom, longer waits and more free beer.

Re:quick

[palegray.net]

And your liver falling out of your butthole in protest.

Imagine the coin they would bank

[antifoidulus]

if everyone had to go through what Butters went through to get to Bennigans......

My patent

[Boyceterous]

A system whereby a user shall be charged a fee based on the actual volume of excrement deposited into a dedicated porcelain facility. The system shall be called "Pay As You Go"

As you so ably demonstrate...

[caitsith01]

...courtesy certainly is a novel invention in the US of A.*

Now if IBM could just patent a method for pumping it into the tubes of the intarweb, we'd really be getting somewhere.

* I'm kidding - I've met plenty of polite Americans, like the nice policeman who asked me to "please step out of the car" and the nice TSA lady who told me that without even asking I'd been placed on some kind of list that got me extra special treatment at the airport.

Re:Prior art

[britneys 9th husband]

Now we just need someone at the patent office to examine this POS patent application and reject it.

Re:Prior art

[Brian Gordon]

Only 60%? That's some POS POS data.

Re:Prior art

[eonlabs]

Does Snow Crash count as prior art

The Deliverator knows that there is a 3 foot gap between the burbclaves and... A POOL!

Re:The old saying must be true.

[The Yuckinator]

But if you're a good Slashdotter and just read the completely inaccurate headline, you can work up a righteous froth and get a nice +5 Inciteful.

Fixed that for ya ;)

Re:Automation IS required

[totally bogus dude]

...and then you'd have to pay royalties for my patent on "the utilisation of the name of a river, when said name of river is comprised of an appropriate number of syllables such that saying or thinking the name of the river takes the average humanoid approximately one second, as an aid in the task of marking the passage of a particular quantity of time".

Re:Actually interesting

[SpaceLifeForm]

Hopefully, it's implemented like the Completely Fair Scheduler [ibm.com], otherwise I probably would avoid the place.

Illogical.

[n6kuy]

" ... Automated Crediting ... 'could be implemented completely devoid of ... automation of any kind.'"

If they can pull that off, they deserve a patent!

Brilliant Strategy

[PPH]

It appears that IBM is seeking to force patent reform by clogging the system with so many useless applications that soon it will be impossible to swing a dead cat without hitting a patent claim.

Sorry. That should read 'Method for controlling the trajectory of a deceased feline to avoid impact with preexisting intellectual property'.