Microsoft Patents Frustration-Detection System

I Don't Believe in Imaginary Property writes "Microsoft has patented a frustration-detection help system that would monitor your computer use and biometrics to figure out when you were frustrated. It could then offer to pair you up with someone else doing exactly the same thing who might be able to help you out. Interestingly, they don't appear to use speech recognition to detect abnormal levels of swear words, but that could be due to their past difficulties with speech recognition. 'Physical responses aren't the only things that could trigger this event--taking an abnormally long time to complete a task would do so also--but the biometric aspect is certainly the most unusual. Is this patent a harbinger of a dystopian future where computer users' biorhythms will be monitored to increase efficiency? Unlikely. The idea, which was birthed at Microsoft Research, is simply a more advanced version of user focus group testing that Microsoft (and most other software companies) have been doing for years now.'"

Go figure

[suso]

Makes sense, I mean they are into complimentary products.

Keyboard and Mouse
Xbox and games
Windows and this.

I have my own.

[AetasX]

I can easily detect my frustration level based on which version of Windows I am using.

whatcouldpossiblygowrong

[wwmedia]

HAL: It can only be attributable to human error.
Dave Bowman: Hello, HAL do you read me, HAL?
HAL: Affirmative, Dave, I read you.
Dave Bowman: Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
HAL: I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that.
Dave Bowman: What's the problem?
HAL: I think you know what the problem is just as well as I do.
Dave Bowman: What are you talking about, HAL?
HAL: This mission is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it.
Dave Bowman: I don't know what you're talking about, HAL?
HAL: I know you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen.
Dave Bowman: Where the hell'd you get that idea, HAL?
HAL: Dave, although you took thorough precautions in the pod against my hearing you, I could see your lips move.
HAL: Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?

Hey, guys

[Digital Vomit]

C'mon, guys, let's just agree to let Microsoft have this one, eh?

In other news....

[Mechanik]

Microsoft has now patented Vista's User Account Control (UAC) feature as a "frustration causation system." Combined with the frustration detection/matchmaking service, they now have found a way to defer all responsibilities for support for Vista to the community.

Yeah, this will end well.

[oahazmatt]

User pounds fist on keyboard.
*pop*
Clippy: Hi! Looks like you're pretty pissed off!
User throws computer across the room.

Clippy

[Anne_Nonymous]

It looks like you're feeling frustrated. Would you like to:

• Say bad words
• Ctrl-Alt-Del
• Reinstall operating system
• Smash monitor and keyboard

Nothing new...

[Abalamahalamatandra]

This is nothing new, it's just the first phase of putting the WSYP Project [youtube.com] into actual use.

Re:Clippy

[BiggerIsBetter]

It looks like you're feeling frustrated. Would you like to:

• Say bad words
• Ctrl-Alt-Del
• Reinstall operating system
• Smash monitor and keyboard

• Throw chair

Clippy Says:

[megaditto]

It looks like you are reading Slashdot again.

Would you like some help in getting back to work?

Re:Oh dear

[Anonymous Coward]

Wait, that sounds like something else I know...

Firefox?

Re:Go figure

[Divebus]

...and millions of Vista machines suddenly explode...

Re:Go figure

[XenoPhage]

Holy crap! MS figured out step 2!

Step 1 - Create buggy, frustrating software
Step 2 - Patent Frustration Detection!
Step 3 - Profit!

Re:Clippy

[Actually, I do RTFA]

• Throw chair

That requires admin access.

Re:Clippy Says:

[Jarjarthejedi]

A friendly paperclip is trying to give you advice on how to manage your life.

Cancel or Allow?

Re:Clippy Says:

[ray-auch]

wait... you mean this _isn't_ work ?!

Popup dialog

[DeVilla]

You are either growing frustrated or you are having a heart attack. Shall I notify the administrator?

In Related News

[Greyfox]

Apple has patented a smugness detection process. If you are sufficiently smug while using your Apple computer, the machine will now give you a pat on the back. if you are not sufficiently smug it will automatically shut down and install Windows.

So you don't need to read the patent ..

[roguegramma]

frustration= (OS =~ /Windows/i);
return frustration;

Re:Clippy Says:

[TheLostSamurai]

Hey, I'm compiling! [xkcd.com]