Block HTTP, FTP, NNTP too, that way the tubes will be nice and clear so that you can have a better internet experience. I'd be happy to forgo internet altogether; use my share to build him his own private intarweb.

Well personally I think the Dallas Mavericks need to improve their front line ball-running and trade players in and out of the game more often if they are to be in with a chance this season. Also, if the Captain Maverick was placed in the middle instead of the front during the offensive plays, they could ensure more runs on the board by getting more stoppages in their favor.

Who are the Dallas Mavericks?

Indeed - maybe he should stick to whatever the hell he's good at, and leave the ISP stuff up to those that actually know what they're talking about.

It's the same in America, you just have to download 24 hours a day at the fastest speed in order to get all your bits.

Just imagine how fast the internet would be if there were no content to view. After P2Ps gone, get rid of all these freeloading websites, emails, etc. and it will be blisteringly fast.

Are we allowed ICMP ping, so we can tell how fast it is?

Nothing else, just ping.

There's part of me that would pay for that.

We have a similar system in use. Called "fair use policy". Or, as we customers like to call it, "russian bandwidth roulette". You download and then suddenly you get angry letters and throttling. Next month, you do exactly the same, nothing. Then you are on vacation for a month, don't download anything, and you come home to be greeted by one of those letters in your inbox and your bandwidth slow enough to greet every bit and call it by name on arrival.

My guess is that this happens totally at random.

Like you I also work for an internet QoS hardware manufacturer and I think this is definitely the right way to go...

What you really need to do is come to some sort of understanding, perhaps an agreement amongst gentlemen, or peers even. Then you could somehow work together to download your gigs of porn. It would be like a distributed network of peers, a peer-to-peer network even. If only there was some kind of snappy name for this system. Sorry I have to go, I need to call Mark 'fuckwit' Cuban and describe my latest invention to him. He's gonna love it!

Yes, of course I did.
Now, ask me if I care.
Actually, you shouldn't ask me that. It starts out harmless enough, but soon you'll be asking me much worse things. It's inevitable!