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How Not to Write a Cease-and-Desist Letter 235

In our overly litigious society it seems that many companies are all too happy to fire off a cease-and-desist letter if they see something they don't like. Many times these letters end up online just causing further embarrassment for the company. One such company has decided to try scaring their targets out of this response by including a copyright notice for their cease-and-desist letter. Public Citizen has fielded one of these dumb letters and has invited them to try to assert their cease-and-desist copyright (which isn't even registered).
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How Not to Write a Cease-and-Desist Letter

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  • Funny Stuff (Score:5, Interesting)

    by eldavojohn ( 898314 ) * <eldavojohn@noSpAM.gmail.com> on Monday October 08, 2007 @12:50PM (#20900425) Journal
    You can find the first letter to start all this here [citizen.org]. I recommend you read that letter and then the one linked in the text.

    They attempt to use Fair Housing Council of San Fernando Valley v. Roommates.com, LLC decision as a reason that Leonard is legally liable for hosting defamatory statements about an infomercial company! This is Charles Montgomery Burns quality humor.

    Also, for further comedic value, I heavily recommend The DirectBuy website [directbuy.com] done entirely in flash. Which doesn't offer much except a registration form (click the upper right hand ticket). I can't find a damned thing on how their business model works unless I sign up for it. Seems to be a way to get home furnishings as discount prices. But for some reason you have to go to a show room for that. Sounds like something where the value isn't really there but they're certain they can sell you on the idea if they get a half hour of your time. Probably not a scam but pretty damned close--time share style!

    Also what's interesting is how they respond to negative feedback questions [directbuycares.com]:

    We're happy to hear that you are considering a DirectBuy membership. We understand that negative information can make it hard for you to make an informed decision about how membership can meet your current and future buying needs, and we'd like to respond.

    DirectBuy's unique business model is very different than mainstream retail operation. Our concept, combined with our continued growth over 36 years, has made DirectBuy, just like any other sizeable corporation, a target for controversy.

    That being said, most of the information online is posted by individuals who have not attended an Open House, or have chosen not to become members.

    We realize that DirectBuy is not for everyone, and that's why we encourage individuals who are interested in taking a calculated approach to undeniable savings to attend an Open House to learn about our unmatched selection, savings, and service. The complaints you see online from those who have actually visited DirectBuy represent a very small fraction of the hundreds of thousands of individuals each year who attend an Open House. (And to set the record straight, DirectBuy has never been involved in a class-action lawsuit.)

    We're very proud of our long track record of satisfied members who have enjoyed the undeniable savings and wide array of merchandise that we offer. Our members invest upfront to avoid paying traditional retail markup and save significantly on virtually everything for in and around their homes. Members' satisfaction is our number-one priority.

    But the only way to make an informed decision about whether DirectBuy membership is right for you is to attend an Open House event at a showroom near you. There, you'll learn more about the benefits of DirectBuy membership by gaining exclusive access to our showroom and getting a firsthand look at the savings, selection and services available to members from our team of knowledgeable professionals.

    DirectBuy members, tell McBain about your membership experience here, too. We'd love to hear from you!
    I've bolded the sentence that worries me. It both sounds too good to be true and sounds like they take my money and promise me something later that's ill defined. What do you think?

    I'll bet any amount of money that wasn't written by a person with a soul. Shady legal threats from an even shadier company. What do you expect?
  • Re:Funny Stuff (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Billosaur ( 927319 ) * <<wgrother> <at> <optonline.net>> on Monday October 08, 2007 @01:00PM (#20900577) Journal

    The really funny part is that their service is pretty much a scam... I've read up on them and apparently some of their policies are a little suspects, such as clause that do not allow you to return merchandise, cancel an order, or even (get this), terminate your membership! And where did this information come from? Try Consumer Reports [consumerreports.org]. DirectBuy is just another company with its head in the sand. Personally, I can't wait to see if this will end up in court.

  • by networkBoy ( 774728 ) on Monday October 08, 2007 @01:12PM (#20900745) Journal
    How about donating to public citizen?

    I know I have.
  • 'Dozy', or what? (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Dr_Ish ( 639005 ) on Monday October 08, 2007 @01:39PM (#20901071) Homepage
    A close look at the silly lawyer letter reveals that is comes from the "Dozier Law Firm". The name seems apt. Their web site at http://www.cybertriallawyer.com [cybertriallawyer.com] include a YouTube [youtube.com] video on the front page. Let us hope that they have the correct release for that. Of course, I would encourage eveyone to take a look at their web site, for informational purposes only of course! It is also worth noting that one of their people has the nickname 'Bull'. I guess I will continue my profound dislike of BestBuy. Their loss is Circuit City's [circuitcity.com] gain.
  • Open house (Score:3, Interesting)

    by iknownuttin ( 1099999 ) on Monday October 08, 2007 @01:56PM (#20901355)
    That being said, most of the information online is posted by individuals who have not attended an Open House, or have chosen not to become members.

    I once was "invited" to be a broker at a certain mutual fund that I can't even remember the name of anymore and they spent over an hour showing us overheads (yeah, it was back in '84) of broker's checks showing $1500.00 a week in passive commissions. In other words, you get someone to buy this mutual fund and every time they put more money in, you'd get a commission - that includes dividend reinvestment. Towards the end of the sessions, they told us how we'd get the sales - pester family and friends. I left and never came back. One, if I did that, I wouldn't have any friends or family. Two, their business model was to "recruit" as many people as possible (you had to pay for your own series 7), and keep the very rare one who didn't fail. They were looking for fresh meat. I went to a real estate agents open house for a large national firm and they were just looking for fresh meat for their grinder.

    There's a huge turnover for these types of retail sales jobs and they're always looking for fresh meat. It looks like this firm is the same thing - another Amway or what ever it's called.

    Now, don't get me wrong, some, ok very few, of these sales things aren't the rip-off they seem. Mary Kay has been pretty good to the women I know who do it and their customers seem to be satisfied. I almost went for it - but how is a guy to sell Mary Kay? Sell to transvestites?

  • form letter (Score:5, Interesting)

    by Johnny Mnemonic ( 176043 ) <mdinsmore@NoSPaM.gmail.com> on Monday October 08, 2007 @02:33PM (#20901981) Homepage Journal
    My wife worked in the Claims department of a large rental car company. If you were hit by a rental car of this company, and the driver accepted the insurance at the time of rental, you would contact her to get your claims fulfilled. Yes it sucked. Notice the tense.

    Anyway, she received a letter from an attorney that demanded a response, but stipulated that form letters would not be accepted as legit response.

    She sent a letter, but it was returned with "FORM LETTER REJECTED" stamped all over it, and the lawyer subsequently demanded more communication.

    Which she ignored, because:
    a) it wasn't a form letter;
    b) even it was, the attorney couldn't possibly prove it;
    c) even if he could prove it, you can't dictate the terms of the response as long as it's legally sufficient;
    d) his stamping of the letter provided nice verification that he had received it and read it. He may as well have signed for receipt.

    He kept demanding further response, and she followed up with letters that basically said "see previous".
  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 08, 2007 @02:38PM (#20902065)
    Then I guess I shouldn't say that the supposedly copyrighted C&D letter could be obtained at http://www.citizen.org/documents/directbuycd.pdf [citizen.org] by anybody with an internet connection? Good to know.
  • by g0at ( 135364 ) <[ac.taogyz] [ta] [neb]> on Monday October 08, 2007 @04:50PM (#20903671) Homepage Journal

    2. You DO need to register it before pursuing legal action in the US
    You do? News to me. Could you cite a reference?

    thanks,

    -b

  • by budgenator ( 254554 ) on Monday October 08, 2007 @05:04PM (#20903823) Journal
    the way I understand it is it not being copyrighted that is being considered here but the fact that an unregistered copyrighted material can only get actual damages. A lawyer's boilerplate letter is worth about $50.00 at most, and $0.00 at most likely. The argument would be along the liens that because the letter was specific between the two parties, it's worthless to anyone else so the actual damages would be zero. Now if the letter is registered with the copyright office there could be an award of statutory damages of between $750.00 - $30,000.00.
  • by cdrguru ( 88047 ) on Monday October 08, 2007 @05:16PM (#20903935) Homepage
    We have been engaged in an interesting experiment for the past 15 years or so. It is called the Internet. Under the terms of this experiment, everyone is immune to prosecution because, well, it's the Internet. It isn't "Real Life".

    Not knowing this, the folks at DirectBuy do not realize that they have utterly no recourse to anything stated about them, no matter how unsubstantiated, defamatory or libelous. Their lawyer seems to be under the impression that there is some other sort of universal shield law for everone (publishers, web service providers and posters alike) on the Internet. I suspect once one gets their head around the idea that it is the Internet it will become obvious that they can't sue an IP address and defending an IP address is pointless.

    Unsubstantiated, anonymous reviews on the Internet are the norm. You can find scathing reviews of high school dates intended to utterly destroy people. You can find scathing reviews of nearly any business that some customer has had a problem with with the clear intent to force the company out of business. Normally such sites do not post anything positive, mostly because positive reviews are hard to come by. People are far more motivated when they perceive they have been wronged.

    Of course, if you find such a review of your personality, your business or anything else you might as well just declare bankruptcy, move to a deserted island and kill yourself because it is highly unlikely you are going to get any sympathy on the Internet. And getting the information removed is impossible. After all, it is the Internet and nobody is responsible for anything.
  • by CuriousKangaroo ( 543170 ) on Monday October 08, 2007 @06:04PM (#20904381)
    I believe the following is the earliest example of a popular (at the time) site that received a Cease-and-Desist letter and responded by posting it for everyone to see:

    http://www.ibiblio.org/elvis/manatt.html [ibiblio.org]

    Also see the following articles which mention it:

    http://home.earthlink.net/~barefootjim/writing/websight/websight1.html [earthlink.net]
    http://www.cnn.com/SPECIALS/1997/web.whatnext/hit.miss/hit06.html [cnn.com]

    Of course, posting such letters has been the standard response ever since. Interesting that it took this long for someone to try copyrighting their letter to try to prevent this...

  • by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 08, 2007 @07:59PM (#20905479)
    It's ridiculous to think letters threatening legal action are copyrightable. It's a historical document of fact that is part of potential legal proceedings. EVIDENCE. What's next? Spam copyright applications for as many possible laws that could be written, and "use" copyright to prevent those laws from being enacted?

    Falsely claiming copyright on something which cannot be copyrighted should be an actionable offense, if it isn't already. Somebody should check, and see if lawyers making willfully false legal statements can be sanctioned or disbarred. Yeah, I think those copyright claims at the bottom of cease and desist letters would STFU pretty damn fast. It would be absolutely hilarious to see some lawyer who made one of those claims disciplined in some way for making those statements. Then we could laugh at their cease and desist even twice as hard.
  • If some lawyer attempted to go after my client with this BS they would get an anti-SLAPP special motion to strike [casp.net] on their desk. My client would get his/her/its attorney's fees paid.

    Such a motion is available in California and in other states as well. [wikipedia.org]

    Essentially, it is a way for the small guy to fight Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation (big companies trying to shut the little guy up by suing him) by giving other lawyers incentive to take the cases on contingency. If this shit happens to you, contact the EFF; they send out emails to lawyers across the country who may take your defense on contingency.

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