How Not to Write a Cease-and-Desist Letter

In our overly litigious society it seems that many companies are all too happy to fire off a cease-and-desist letter if they see something they don't like. Many times these letters end up online just causing further embarrassment for the company. One such company has decided to try scaring their targets out of this response by including a copyright notice for their cease-and-desist letter. Public Citizen has fielded one of these dumb letters and has invited them to try to assert their cease-and-desist copyright (which isn't even registered).

HOW NOT TO WRITE A SLASHDOT TROLL.

[Anonymous Coward]

     

Ssh!

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't tell Darl about this.

Oy vey....

[Kierthos]

Oh noes! Someone wrote something mean about my company on the internet! I gots to sue them!

Please, God (or other available deity), strike these litigious dumbasses with your holy fire/hammer/lightning from the sky (as appropriate).

Re:HOW NOT TO WRITE A SLASHDOT TROLL.

[Anonymous Coward]

FIST PROUST!

One Possible Reply..

[Zymergy]

A Good comment posted from the original article:
7. No License... No Reading by Todd on Oct 8th, 2007 @ 8:41am

Dear Lawfirm,

Regarding your recent letter containing copyrighted content, I seem to not have an appropriate license to read your letter. I sure wish I could respond to whatever allegations you claim, but that would require that I read your letter, of which I do not have a proper license to do.

Sincerely,
Your Victim

Submission License

[Nymz]

All submissions sent to my email become my property, and reciept of your email shall consitute your acceptance of this agreement. Expect a couter-suit detailing your violation of my copyright, as I do not permit my letters to be sent via email. Thank you.

Re:Oy vey....

[Joe Jay Bee]

Please, God (or other available deity), strike these litigious dumbasses with your holy fire/hammer/lightning from the sky (as appropriate).

You forgot "noodle".

Re:Ssh!

[the_humeister]

Ssh is a registered trademark of SSH Communications Security. You will be hearing from our lawyers.

Re:I already have a copyright...

[Alain Williams]

You can't have a copyright on something generic, however you could have a patent on it -- at least in those countries that allow such stupidities.

HAW! HAW!

[msauve]

the old trick of mailing a copy of something to yourself as soon as you've created it still works just like it always did. (Dated postmark.)

I plan on mailing a bunch of (unsealed) manila envelopes to myself tomorrow. Then, in a couple of years, I'll retype one or two titles from the NYT bestsellers list, stuff them in an envelope, seal it, and sue.

According to you, I'll have ironclad proof that they're infringing my copyright. I'll be rich!

Re:HOW NOT TO WRITE A SLASHDOT TROLL.

[PitaBred]

He was a gay frenchman [wikipedia.org], who knows, maybe he'd enjoy it...

Re:Copyright registration

[PitaBred]

Screw you, hippie! Ad-hominem and strawman attacks are a completely legitimate tool in a debate! You're with the terrorists!

Proust in his first post wrote about wrote about -

[wsanders]

1) [nothing]

2) "In Search of Lost Time Posting to /."