1-Click Rejection Rejected 201
theodp writes "On Wednesday, a three-judge USPTO panel convened at Amazon's request rejected a USPTO Examiner's rejection of Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos's 1-Click patent, ruling that it wasn't obvious to them what the Examiner found obvious. The application has been remanded to the Examiner with instructions to make the obviousness more obvious."
But... (Score:5, Funny)
Seriously, though... If there's even a single person that can't see what's obvious about this in the patent office, there needs to be firings until there isn't. This is pretty much the definition of obvious. Heck, if the person even had access to the internet, they'd have fallen across rants about its obviousness every other month.
Obviousness (Score:5, Funny)
Obviously?
This post, which is first (Score:5, Funny)
But no matter how hard I try, I still can't make this as confusing as the summary.
You're joking...right? (Score:5, Funny)
Even More Trouble (Score:5, Funny)
1 click rejection? (Score:4, Funny)
1-Click Rejection (Score:3, Funny)
We need a hero to save the day. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Even More Trouble (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Firehose antics... (Score:5, Funny)
Half-click shopping ... (Score:5, Funny)
Catch-22 (Score:5, Funny)
"Why isn't this obvious?!" Yossarian asked
"The obviousness is just to obvious, that's why." said Captain Black
"That... that's just stupid. If it's so obvious, you should just call it obvious and reject it." said Yossarian
"Oh, sure. But if we did that, what would be the end result? Everyone would spend all their time trying to force themselves to think of non-obvious things." said Captain Black
"What?! Isnt't that the point of this whole patenting system?!" asked Yossarian
"NO! That's exactly my point - have you ever seen a good invention, I mean a really good invention? What makes you say it's a good invention - I'll tell you, it's because it makes so much sense for the situation its in! The really good inventions are only the ones that are SO obvious you never thought of them before. So, therefore, we decided it's really best that if an invention seems TOO obvious, it obviously must be something we have to encourage, and therefore has to be accepted BECAUSE it was too obvious." said Captain Black
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Ryan Fenton
Re:Firehose antics... (Score:5, Funny)
Clear now?
Re:This post, which is first (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Even More Trouble (Score:5, Funny)
An Obligatory, just for you (Score:5, Funny)
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were very obvious
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and be obvious
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too obvious
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to be as obvious as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Patent. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit obviousness?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're Jeff Bezos.
Sir Lancelot: Am not.
Re:Even More Trouble (Score:3, Funny)
Re:But... (Score:5, Funny)
Method of obtaining oxygen while at the same time getting rid of carbon dioxide in intra-body transportation liquids by periodically increasing and decreasing the interior volume of a intra-body cavity connected with the outside air supply through a flexible biological tube, where the walls of the intra-body cavity are connected with the inter-body transport liquid system through semipermeable membranes which allow diffusion of oxygen and carbon dioxide between the transportation liquid and the air.
Funny thing is, the captcha is "breath"
Re:Obviousness (Score:4, Funny)
Pwned! Should have seen that one coming, obviously.
Re:Even More Trouble (Score:2, Funny)
Re:You're joking...right? (Score:5, Funny)
Sir Lancelot stops to keep from marching into a giant hole.
Sir Lancelot: Halt here!
Servants stop.
Servant: Why'd we stop sire?
Sir Lancelot: Well isn't it obvious?
Servant: Isn't what obvious?
Sir Lancelot: Why we stopped, isn't it obvious?
Servant: That's what I was asking.
Sir Lancelot: There's a giant hole there.
Servant: Ahh, I see, great job stopping there. Fine job indeed. I shall tell tales of your decisiveness and cunning.
Sir Lancelot: Decisiveness and cunning? But it was obvious!
Servant: What was obvious?
Sir Lancelot: Stopping in front of the hole there of course.
Servant: Well, that might have been obvious to someone such as you, your excellence. But I'd hardly call that obvious.
Sir Lancelot: But it's a hole!
Servant: Yes... Yes it is...
Sir Lancelot: And it's quite deep.
Servant: Yes sir, quite deep indeed.
Sir Lancelot: And falling down it would've indeed injured us.
Servant: Perhaps so, your excellence, perhaps so.
Sir Lancelot: So it was obvious to stop then!
Servant: To someone with your skills and decisiveness perhaps.
Sir Lancelot: Are you saying you wouldn't have stopped then?
Servant: Perhaps not.
Sir Lancelot: But you would of fallen.
Servant: Probably yes, your majesty.
Sir Lancelot: Did you see the hole?
Servant: Yes, yes I did, it was a quite impressive hole.
Sir Lancelot: But you would've still gone?
Servant: Perhaps.
Sir Lancelot: But WHY?!? IT WAS OBVIOUS THEN!
Servant: No offense, but maybe to you it was obvious, your excellence. But to me it was less so.
King Arthur strides up with servants.
King Arthur: HALT HERE!
Servants and Arthur halt.
King Arthur: Why have you stopped here Lancelot?
Sir Lancelot: Well, isn't it obvious?
Servant: Here he goes again, twas what we were just discussing.
King Arthur: AHA the hole, but wait, why did we stop? There's a bridge over there.
Re:Parent violated patent! (Score:5, Funny)
Your link leads to nowhere.
That's what you think. In fact, you've just ordered a 36 volume encyclopaedia, and the first instalment of $199.99 will be debited from your credit card next month.
That's what comes of not reviewing your order.
Re:Half-click shopping ... (Score:3, Funny)
When a new potential revenue stream is instantiated (ie, born) the retailer references the birth record and local demographics. Based on the instance's socioeconomic class and other factors, a queue of products is created and stored in a database. The instance will then receive products and bills without intervention for the remainder of their lives. (Geolocation data from the instance's mobile phone can be used to update the product stream in near real time. You have probably already seen some fascinating articles about this in the standard publications, eg J Retail Sci.)
Advanced collaborative filtering will be used to ensure that the product stream is highly relevant to the instance's lifestyle. Obviously, this method is patented. The specific database techniques used to store the predicted product stream has also yielded an unreasonably broad patent, which we are very excited about.
Eventually, the legislature may wish to allow our revenue streams to opt out of the program, so we all need to get ready to spend some time in court to protect the business model.