China Says Tibetans Need Permission To Reincarnate

michaelcole writes "China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. This article is both hilarious and sad, looking at the lengths to which a government will go to regulate thought through censorship. It also goes into some of the more subtle politics of the current 72-year-old Dalai Lama as he thinks about his political and spiritual successor. The Dalai Lama 'refuses to be reborn in Tibet so long as it's under Chinese control.'"

And so help us...

[Atario]

...if we figure out you're defying this order, we'll slaughter you in your crib.

Well then...

[WwWonka]

...I create a new law in my glorious purple sky kingdom that every Chinese government official must get special written permission from King Me prior to squatting down and excreting the same kind of fecal matter that they are spewing from their mouths.

:o

[Anonymous Coward]

In response, US bans Christians from going to Heaven without first paying the newly passed Heaven Tax...

In other news, the Catholic church.....

[Anonymous Coward]

is complaining about Food and Drug Agency regulations governing the transubstantiation of communion wafers.

Said the Agency: ....if the church want to miraculously convert bread and wine to human remains, we will need to ensure that it is suitable for human consumption. There is well-documented evidence of disease transmission through these vectors.......Of course, human remains are also prima facie evidence of a crime being committed, so we have asked the FBI if they want to retain all communion utensils for evidence....

Re:Holy shit.

[MichaelSmith]

It's a wonderful example how totalitarian states need to control every corner of life even the dark corner of superstition.

I think it is amazing that the Chinese government can give permission to reincarnate. Maybe they can offer a package deal to people on their last legs: pay for permission to come back and agree to leave the country afterwards.

Melting Alpacas?

[Mister Transistor]

Every time I hear "Dali Lama", I think of melting llamas draped over tables and held up by poles and crutches!

All your souls are belong to China

[Anonymous Coward]

All your souls are belong to China

Re:And so help us...

[somersault]

Rice tastes better anyway. I'd rather be able to eat for a few decades than drive around until I die of starvation

Re:Well then...

[Anonymous Coward]

Look at his ID --- He's f***ing Willie W. Wonka... he can do ANYTHING!

The price of fish?

[MysteriousPreacher]

In other news, Slashdot changes its slogan to "News for nerds, stuff that matters and anything that happens in China".

It's certainly a censorship issue but hardly related to the techie world, unless I missed the RFC on Buddhist reincarnation.

Funny take on the subject

[dragonquest]

..by Scott Adams (yes, the creator of Dilbert) Slap the Monk, eh? [typepad.com]

Re:And so help us...

[PopeRatzo]

You'll have to excuse me, who, as an American, is more used to religious leaders who rape little boys, do crystal meth with their prostitutes (male and female), and run around screaming that homosexuality is an abomination. That's not to mention the ones who are promoting the murder of the leaders of other countries and want to teach schoolchildren that the Earth is 6,000 years old.

So by my measure, the Dalai Lama seems like a pretty good dude.

Re:Melting Alpacas?

[sacrilicious]

Check this out [smartt.com]

Maybe the Dalai Lama is a Terry Pratchett fan.

[Glytch]

The Dalai Lama has already announced - long before this weeks-ago Chinese ruling - he's not only going to reincarnate outside Tibet, but as a girl, just to bugger the monks.

He closed the watch again and looked around desperately. No-one else seemed anxious to come too near Windle Poons. The Bursar felt it was up to him to make polite conversation. He surveyed possible topics. They all presented problems.

Windle Poons helped him out.

"I'm thinking of coming back as a woman," he said conversationally.

The Bursar opened and shut his mouth a few times.

"I'm looking forward to it," Poons went on. "I think it might, mm, be jolly good fun."

The Bursar riffled desperately through his limited repertoire of small talk relating to women. He leaned down to Windle's gnarled ear.

"Isn't there rather a lot of," he struck out aimlessly, "washing things? And making beds and cookery and all that sort of thing?"

"Not in the kind of, mm, life I have in mind," said Windle firmly.

Related King of the Hill episode:

[mikeasu]

One of my favorites, and coincidentally on tonight in syndication: "Won't You Pimai Neighbor" Buddhist monks think Bobby is a reincarnated Lama. Best line is when Hank barges in to see Bobby meditating (after reading Buddhism for Dummies) Hank:"NO! NO! DANG NO! Bobby: "Aww, Dad...I was THIS close to achieving enlightenment!!!"

Re:WWBD?

[Anonymous Coward]

What would Jesus's dad do?

Joseph: "I really can't deal with all this spiritual mumbo-jumbo right now. Mary, you take care of it. I'm going to the workshop and building myself a chair."

I'm not so sure about that one.

[Linkiroth]

The rest of the world depends little on Chinese food, or so I would assume...

Growing up in a jewish family, I beg to differ. We depended GREATLY on chinese food.

Re:And so help us...

[budgenator]

You better plant some food long before you start to starve or your going to be dining on grass soap with an main course of roast tree bark.