Delete Cookies, Inflate Net Traffic Estimates 217
eldavojohn writes "In my browser, I regularly go to the tools menu and clear my private data. This includes my cookies. As a result, people like me who destroy cookies by the thousands may be inflating estimates of Web traffic by up to 150 percent. People have good reasons for clearing out cookies — we've heard about bad cookies before (and I think the FCC is still investigating the issue). But every time you delete cookies, many of the sites you've visited count you as a new visitor next time."
...And? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:150%? Please (Score:5, Funny)
just plain wrong (Score:2, Funny)
Re:FTC, not FCC (Score:3, Funny)
I thought the FDA was responsible for investigating cookies...
Re:On the other hand... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:...And? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:FTC, not FCC (Score:1, Funny)
If the Federal Cookie Commission doesn't look at cookies, then what do they look at? Are you telling me America isn't prepared for a Cookie Monster attack?
Every time you delete cookies... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Every time you delete cookies... (Score:5, Funny)
Let's assume that the idiom is talking only about male masturbation. Let's further assume, highly conservatively, that males do not start masturbating until they reach age 15. Of the total U.S. male population, 107,199,356 [census.gov] would then be masturbation-age males. Again, let's conservatively estimate that teenagers masturbate no more frequently than adults, and that all men masturbate an average of 20 times [wikipedia.org] each month or 240 times per year. This means that each man in the United States masturbates approximately every 1.5 days. It also means that there are approximately 25,727,845,440 male masturbation sessions in the United States each year.
There are nearly 26 billion male masturbation sessions in the U.S., yet there are fewer than five million kitten deaths annually. Far from a one-to-one correlation, there are 5401.5 masturbation sessions for every single kitten death. This means that the average American man can masturbate regularly for 22.5 years before he is responsible for the death of a single kitten. Indeed, with a life expectancy of less than 75 years, the average man will be responsible for only two or three kitten deaths in a lifetime of vigorous masturbation.
Re:No surprise (Score:2, Funny)
Re:On the other hand... (Score:4, Funny)
On the other hand, this is slashdot and that kind of behavior is not allowed here. We demand you say something funny.
Re:On the other hand... (Score:1, Funny)
Oh boy... (Score:5, Funny)
So, you're the little bastard who keeps forwarding me that crap.
This year... no presents for you!!!
Sincerely,
Santa H. Claus
santa@northpole.net
Re:On the other hand... (Score:3, Funny)