Gorbachev Asks Gates to Intervene in Piracy Case

An anonymous reader writes to tell us that former Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev has asked Bill Gates to intervene in a software piracy case against the headmaster of a middle school. If convicted, Alexander Ponosov could face detention in a Siberian prison camp for his crime.

In Soviet Russia...

[drewzhrodague]

In Soviet Russia, Bill Gates hates YOU!

I'm sorry, I had to.

Prison Camp

[Anonymous Coward]

Siberian Prison Camp is a little hard core for a Bootleg OS. Hope they don't catch me, they might try to genocide my ass or something.

Re:In Soviet Russia...

[$RANDOMLUSER]

In Soviet Amerika, Bill Gates sends gulag to YOU!

Inspired students

[RichMan]

Ok so how many north american students are ripping the authentication stickers off school owned Dell machines and keying the phone number to the BSA in as they read this.

Reporting your teacher/principal to the BSA, priceless.

Dear Bill Gates:

[Peter Trepan]

We wish to send convicted pirate to Siberia for cracking Windows Vista, but can not afford police. Please to apprehend him personally.

imprisonment?

[User 956]

If convicted, Alexander Ponosov could face detention in a Siberian prison camp for his crime.

Imprisonment? I thought the russian government just poisoned everyone with Polonium 210 these days.

Six Words from Bill

[StikyPad]

Mr. Gorbachev: Tear down that firewall.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:In Soviet Russia...

[ThatsNotFunny]

Eh... i think i'll wait for Gulag SP2.

Dear Mister Gate

[Anonymous Coward]

you are friend no? i like friend and you microsoft software. if you like i upload picture of my sister make sex to internet for you.

i am use your software for free because we very poor in kazakhstan. if sue for pirate i have my hand cut off and not upload pictures of my sister make sex. i am very poor to buy software and only own 1 goat but if you like i upload picture of make sex with goat. you like huh?

you friend,

Borat Sagdiyev

The teacher was a Notes user....

[LibertineR]

This, Gates could not forgive.

Re:oh no!

[ettlz]

Whoa! Do those GULAGs still exist??? I thought they were done away with!

All those MP3 files didn't type their contents into those Russian redistribution sites by themselves, you know.

Re:Tweeeeet!! Apostrophe abuse!

[Anonymous Coward]

Ills be thankings you fors pointings out da mistakens in me sentencing structures as a gift I have includeds somes various's punctuations. ,.,.,.,::;;()''""

Re:In Soviet Russia...

[sconeu]

I believe that's Windows Vista.

Re:Gates just Declined

[hitmanWilly1337]

This is the most shocking thing ive heard since someone told me that the sky was blue!

Re:Inspired students

[megaditto]

Why anybody would let these people in the door is beyond me

Well... Perhaps the BSA auditors would like to hear about Jehovah?

Re:Inspired students

[Max Littlemore]

I think you'd be making a BIG mistake taking that attitude.

Instead of threatening them with police involvement, try inviting them politely in to a special waiting room with modern looking, yet incredibly uncomfortable, furniture and ask them to wait until your company's Microsoft Purchasing Officer is ready to answer their queries.

When it's time to lock up and go home, tell them they are welcome to come again the next business day, or you can call them when you actually hire a Microsft Purchasing Officer if they'd prefer.

Re:In Soviet Russia...

[rifter]

If you're going to be inside the gulag, wouldn't you want there to be more vulnerabilities??

Dude. Gulag is in Siberia. Is very cold. Last thing you are wanting is holes in the firewall, dig?