Ballmer Says Linux "Infringes Our Intellectual Property"

Stony Stevenson writes "In comments confirming the open-source community's suspicions, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer Thursday declared his belief that the Linux operating system infringes on Microsoft's intellectual property." From the ComputerWorld article: "In a question-and-answer session after his keynote speech at the Professional Association for SQL Server (PASS) conference in Seattle, Ballmer said Microsoft was motivated to sign a deal with SUSE Linux distributor Novell earlier this month because Linux 'uses our intellectual property' and Microsoft wanted to 'get the appropriate economic return for our shareholders from our innovation.'" His exact wording is available at the Seattle Intelligencer, which has a transcript of the interview. Groklaw had an article up Wednesday giving some perspective on the Novell/Microsoft deal. Guess we'll have something to talk about in 2007, huh?

Alright, own up

[LiquidCoooled]

Who merged the Linux Genuine Advantage code into the tree?
Come on, speak up - I know it was one of you.

Listen closely

[deadhammer]

That rhythmic thudding sound you hear is the sound of every computer professional on the planet simultaneously laughing their balls off.

I think you'll find...

[tttonyyy]

Microsoft infringes on our patience sometimes, as well.

Never send a boy to do a man's job

[A nonymous Coward]

If you want a job done right, do it yourself, eh Balmer? SCO just wasn't up to the task.

Re:Alright, own up

[91degrees]

Sorry. That was me. I also added the module that executes arbitrary code downloaded by a network application, and the code that requires root access for trivial applications. Did I do something wrong?

really, he should have said...

[MancunianMaskMan]

GNU/Linux infringes on our IP

Re:Samba

[Anonymous Coward]

I know it wasn't the best, but I happen to like Super Mario Brothers 2. ...what?

Re:Listen closely

[krell]

"That rhythmic thudding sound you hear is the sound of every computer professional on the planet simultaneously laughing their balls off."

Damn, sure isn't a good day to be a janitor at an IT firm. Running around yelling "Don't step on and SQUISH the things! Makes it a lot harder to sweep them up!"

worst case solution

[Anonymous Coward]

Buy a copy of MSWindows and put the box under the monitor.

Re:Samba

[__aaclcg7560]

So Microsoft is infringing on Nintendo's intellectual property? I think a certain chair-thrower is going to lose his video game priviliges.

BSD too

[Lord_Slepnir]

Ballmer added later in the speech "You'll notice that BSD also infringes on our Intellectual Property. You'll notice that the BSD network stack is identical to the one Microsoft created. Anyone who thinks otherwise has been brainwashed by the Great Satan [freebsd.org]"

Re:Okay...

[chrismcdirty]

So what I'm gathering from this is that it's going to be a behemoth of a battle between IBM and MS, with hopefully many lawyers dying in the middle.

Re:Put up or Shut up

[Bemopolis]

I dunno, Ballmer might be right on this one. I know several Linux users who have a BSoD screensaver...

Bemopolis

Winning quote

[spellraiser]

Quoth Ballmer:

At the end of the day for basically the whole 18, 19 years that we've been pursuing the server and enterprise opportunity, our number one competitor in the data center for new applications has been Unix. Unix, Unix, Unix, Unix.

So they need lots of developers, developers, developers, developers to keep up ...

Re:Listen closely

[krell]

The sound of your balls falling on the floor is better than mod points.

Re:Never send a boy to do a man's job

[elrous0]

After seeing what MS did to Compu-Global Hyper Meganet, is anyone surprised?

-Eric

Re:Alright, own up

[sfled]

Steve Ballmer
Microsoft Corp.
Redmond, WA

Dear Mr. Ballmer,

I am forwarding my old SuSE 8.1 Pro CDs & DVD to you, along with appropriate instruction on where you can put them (including facilitation of the process with a sharpened poker.)

Regards,

Sfled

Re:Listen closely

[krell]

"This really is a male dominated industry then isn't it?"

thud thud Not thud thud anymore thud thud thud thud

Re:Microsoft Brand FUD

[elrous0]

Well, Novell said "bring it." But they were bent over at the time.

-Eric

Re:No need to wait for netcraft...

[blcamp]

SuSE is dead.

After the dust has settled, Novell will follow... suit.

Pirates O' The Valley

[Tarlus]

Hey, Steve, Apple of the 1980's called. They want their reactions to your OS stealing their ideas back.

Re:Company motto

[Anonymous Coward]

no no no... Now it's - If you can't beat 'em, SuSE 'em!

Re:Alright, own up

[mwilliamson]

...not if you work for microsoft...pretty standard, really.

Well, that explains it!

[Russ Nelson]

Ahhhhh, so Microsoft owns IP that's in Linux, eh? So that explains why they paid Novell All That Much Money.

Mod Ballmer's genius up.

[Dystopian Rebel]

Really, he is a genius. Think about it.

IT Shop: We need some robust 24/7 uptime servers.

Ballmer: Great, I'll send you some Windows licences. Misa or VasterCard?

IT Shop: No, we need a well-architected, secure OS that's designed for networking.

Ballmer: Great! I'll send you some Vista licences. You should see Aero. Wow!

IT Shop: No, in the last 10 years, Windows has cost billions of dollars in lost time because of security flaws in Microsoft software.

Ballmer: Um... well... er... heh...

IT Shop: We're going with Linux.

Ballmer: Did you know? All the good parts of Linux were designed by us. Novell even admits it. We release so much great code every day that we let the hippies have some for free. So, in fact, when you buy Vista, you get all the good parts of Linux. Plus... you get Aero! Wow! Will that be Misa or VasterCard?

 

Re:Microsoft Brand FUD

[lucabrasi999]

Well, Novell said "bring it." But they were bent over at the time.

You know, for $500 million.....

Re:Microsoft Brand FUD

[Lord Ender]

I haven't seen patent one infringed upon let alone a whole balance sheet's worth

Patent one? The patent for making Pot ash and Pearl ash by a new Apparatus and Process [utexas.edu]? Yeah, you're right, I don't think that's the method Linux uses to generate its pot ash.

Re:Okay...

[LordOfTheNoobs]

Mutually Assured Litigation? MAL is bad. (pun)

Ballmers pissed that Linux has BSOD

[NullProg]

http://www.linuxcommand.org/man_pages/bsod1.html [linuxcommand.org]

We all know that Windows most innovative feature is the BSOD. They want thier royalties.

Enjoy,

Re:Microsoft Brand FUD

[godzilla808]

"...we believe every Linux customer basically has an undisclosed balance-sheet liability."

*cough* racketeering *cough* extortion

Goon 1: Want me should break that lee-nucks user's knees, boss?

Balmer: Yeah, dat'll teach 'em to not disclose "liabilities". And he'd better have my MONEY!

Does Linux infringe upon MS IP?

[qazwart]

> In comments confirming the open-source community's suspicions,
> Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer Thursday declared his belief that
> the Linux operating system infringes on Microsoft's intellectual
> property.

Well, look at the facts.

* Linux uses Microsoft's technology of taking input from a keyboard and displaying it on a monitor.
* Both Linux and Windows run programs that can help you create documents and run a webserver.
* Both Linux and Windows need "programs" written in "source code" that must be "compiled" in order to operate. Even worse, these "programs" need to be downloaded either over the Internet or from a CD.
* Both Linux and Windows communicate with computers that use the Windows OS.

That's pretty damning evidence! The only technology Linux hasn't stolen yet is Window's ability to bloat up with malware causing the system to come crashing down and displaying the Blue Screen of Death.

IBM has not yet spoken...

[emil]

...and IBM attorneys are affectionately known within the organization as the "Nazgul."

The track record for Microsoft's legal department is really not that good. IBM will probably tear them apart if they really go at eachother.

So how much is Microsoft innovation worth?

[roystgnr]

According to Ballmer, "the appropriate economic return for our shareholders from our innovation" is about negative 348 million dollars.

That number sounds a bit small to me; I think Novell should have at least held out for an even $400 million, an apology, and a promise from Microsoft to never try "innovating" again without adult supervision.

But really, this intellectual property stuff is serious business, and I don't think any Linux users want to fall afoul of the law. If Novell had to pay negative hundreds of dollars for each of their users' infringement of MS intellectual property, I think us Fedora users (and you Ubuntu users, and Gentoo users...) should all be willing to step up to the plate and pay negative hundreds of dollars per license too.

OT: Lunch money

[Captain Sarcastic]

Next thing you know Microsoft execs will be brutalizing school kids for their lunch money.

That remark touches a nerve for me. There was a girl in my elementary school who kept taking my lunch money. Worse yet, she took it from other kids in the school.

However, I was the first one to stand up to her, and tell her that she wasn't going to get MY money, and that I was going to keep it!

So she told me to put my tray back, and turned to the next kid in line.

But I could tell that I'd had some effect from the way she kept looking at me funny for the rest of the year, and the whispering of the other kids told me that I'd made an impression on them as well.

Re:OT: Lunch money

[rizzo420]

let me guess... she was the lunch lady?

Re:Linux is not an OS

[rk]

I thought it was just called the GNU/L-Aid.

Microsoft spreading THUD?

[the way, what're you]

Testicles, Hair, Uncertainty, Doubt

Rules of Deception 101

[Infonaut]

Steven, when you use a Trojan Horse strategy, you have to remember to wait to attack until the doors are closed, night has fallen, and the city inhabitants are all asleep in their beds.

Overall grade: C+

Great execution of a sneaky plan at the beginning. Strong-arming Novell was a masterstroke. Then you brought the whole plan down because you were too impatient. Reread The Prince before our next assignment.

Re:Alright, own up

[diamondsw]

Dammit - more coffee before I post. :)

Re:Listen closely

[jamstar7]

"This really is a male dominated industry then isn't it?"

thud thud Not thud thud anymore thud thud thud thud

Why you think they call it Unix?

Re:OT: Lunch money

[Harry Coin]

Yeah, yeah, there's no such thing as a free lunch, right? Well, Microsoft is basically saying that there's no such thing as a potluck dinner either.

Kiss my Shorts!

[Brandybuck]

Obligatory Miguel de Icaza quote: "But Microsoft would never do anything mean to us!"

I was going to say something witty and eloquent

[Unlikely_Hero]

And then it became so much easier.
Balmer et al wouldn't understand it anyway.

Mr. Balmer and your associates. I believe I speak for all of us when I say.
"Fuck off. You can't compete, you lost. Go throw chairs"

Law of Unintended Consequences

[Anonymous Coward]

Microsoft: Now, that you've signed, I think you should know that we will be working hard to bring RedHat's customers to Suse.

Novell: That sounds great! How are you going to do it?

Microsoft: By endorsing Suse as Microsoft's ordained distribution. Our research shows that people are just looking for a way to be assimilated into the big tent. Suse is can be the tent; the cure for individualism.

Novell: Are you sure? This movement is populated by hairy individualists.

Microsoft: We don't care about the FSF. Our research shows that most everyone else will greet you as liberators, freeing them from the chaos of fragmentation.

Novell: What if Slackware does not wish to be assimilated?

Microsoft: Resistance is futile. Suse will be assimilated. Linux will be assimilated.

Novell: Alright, but I need to make sure your check clears by Friday.

Re:Alright, own up

[Anonymous Coward]

I suspect he will -- when Darth McBalmer and his hordes of imperial MinionS storm Linus' home planet, the last remaining bastion of software freedom, and the final battle begins.

I don't get it. Is that some obscure movie reference?