Do Not Call List Under Attack

smooth wombat writes "Do Not Call. Those words are music to millions of Americans who have signed up for the list so they're not bothered by telemarketers. Not content to let things as they are telemarketers are now lobbying the FCC to have state laws which regulate the practice overturned. In April an ad-hoc group of firms ranging from the Direct Marketing Association to the National Children's Cancer Society filed a joint petition asking the FCC to declare that it has 'exclusive jurisdiction over interstate telemarketing calls.' The issue revolves around some states whose Do Not Call laws are more strict than Federal law and which prohibit telemarketers from calling anyone on a Do Not Call, regardless of an existing business relationship." Update: 07/21 18:42 GMT by Z : Official EPIC page, with contact info and background.

Re:This could be VERY bad

[Shadow Wrought]

because now they have all of our numbers!

Exactly. Which is why I think there could soon be a market for the Do-Not-Call-Air-Horn ! Get your now, before supplies run out!

Re:Stay off my phone!

[HeavyD14]

My personal favorite number to give out is 8675309. If they don't like it, tough. Also, I don't think people understand that it isn't going away totally, its just going to be limited in some states that have stronger laws.

Good Afternoon, How Are You?

[Duke Machesne]

My name is Duke, and I'm calling from the Great American Do-Not-Call-List Giveaway to let you know that you're a winner in our one million dollar sweepstakes entry sweepstakes, and are already automatically entered to win! Isn't that great?

On top of that, as one of our lucky winners, you're eligible to recieve outrageous discounts on subscriptions to all your favorite magazines! Exciting, huh? Which magazines do you like to read? Entertainment Weekly? Sports Digest? TV Guide?

Maybe they can convince you.

[ShaniaTwain]

Yeah, these jackasses think people that don't want to recieve calls selling stuff are potential customers.. they're like the girl that loves the 'bad guy' and figures they'll be the one to change him. Don't want to buy a subscription to Gerbil Enthusiast? You just need the love of a good telemarketer!

wow, that's a really weird analogy. Time for my morning coffee.

What part of

[pair-a-noyd]

"DO NOT CALL" do you not understand?
Are these people so F-n brain dead that they can't take a hint? I think the list is way to lame. I think they should have a "will beat your ass if you call" list.
That's right. If you call me to peddle bullshit I will come find you and beat your ass. Now that would be an effective list.

Really, I don't understand why they don't flat out outlaw all telemarketing. It's intrusive and obnoxious at the very least.

no. no... we need international laws

[John Seminal]

that is what will end this problem. international treaties. until then, we should not have any laws regulating marketing calls.

the marketing firms will find arguments to postpone laws that make it harder for them to harrass customers. when the do not call list went into law, all the dish and satellite calls stopped comming from new york, and started comming from Canada. who do i sue to stop those calls? do i sue AT&T?

i can appreciate the argument for a federal law regulating telemarketing. but maybe congress should pass a law saying they give states the right to make laws however they see fit.

what is eventually going to happen, is the telemarketing firms will get sophisticated and hire powerful lobby groups. they will donate money to politicians who don't want to regulate telemarketing. and the laws will be reversed. it will be hard to overturn the "do not call" list, but i bet lawmakers could sneak in an exception like "related buisnesses exception", so if you buy a DVD from bestbuy, bestbuy can sell your phone number to columbia house since they sell DVD's too. and i bet the lawmakers will give the law a name that is the exact opposite of what the law does, like "consumer telemarketing protection amendment".

Re:I wonder..

[JonasH]

What part of DO NOT CALL dont they understand?

I think it's the "NOT". They seem to have no problems at all with "DO CALL".

Calls aren't like emails at least

[Hachey]

At least my telemarker calls don't read like my inbox. I'd blush every time I picked up the phone if the person on the other end was trying to sell me dick pills.


--
Check out the Uncyclopedia.org [uncyclopedia.org]:
The only wiki source for politically incorrect non-information about things like Kitten Huffing [uncyclopedia.org] and Pong! the Movie [uncyclopedia.org]!

Movie quote: I'd RATHER... BE... DEAD!

[Spy der Mann]

I remember a movie with Jim Carrey (he wasn't the main character, tho) about a guy who loved accepting cold calls.

He would receive a call from an insurance salesman, and begin saying yes to most things until they arranged an appointment.

Then, after making him waste 2 or more hours, when the insurance salesman was leaving, he'd say:
"There's one little... problem.
I'D RATHER... BE... DEAD!!!" (Then he shut the door on the poor salesman)

Oh joy. How I loved that moment. I know it's cruel, but it vented my frustration towards spammers and the like.

Lobbying

[loconet]

Can someone start lobbying to make lobbying illegal?

My Tactic

[iammrjvo]

I always tell marketers to "hold on" and then I lie the phone down until they hang up. It usually takes about 60 seconds. I figure that if everybody would do that, then it would make the practice unprofitable and they'd stop.

Re:Simple Solution

[Quiet_Desperation]

I used to like the female callers. I'd immediately say they sound really cute, and ask them what they are wearing. Before joining the DNC list, I almost coaxed one into phone sex as she was incredibly bored and the last one in her office for the day. She bailed, though. :-\ Chicken.

Re:Simple Solution

[tomstdenis]

Info to try and get out of them

1. Age
2. Name
3. Sex [usually obvious]
4. Location [ask them tough questions about the locale]

Those are the easy ones, here are more fun ones

5. How long and many breaks do they get
6. Salary
7. Benefits
8. When their last holiday was
9. What school they went/go to
10. Whether they think this is a worthwhile job
11. The name of the last person they called
12. The name of the person next to them
13. The first 4 digits of their phone number [home]

and so on...

keep a scorecard handy and see how much you can get.

Tom

Obligatory Seinfeld remark

[seinfeld25]

NYTimes: Sir, are you interested in a 12-month subscription to NY Times? Seinfeld: YES!!! (and slams down the phone)

I miss the days before the DONOTCALL list...

[dsands1]

because when the telemarketers called I'd simply say "Hold on just one second... someone's at the door. Then set the phone on the table for 5-10 minutes and eat my dinner. Pick it up and check if they're still there, "Hello, oh, sorry about that, my neighbor Bob was just out front showing me the new cam he bought for his pick-up. Are you into trucks? It's a really fun hob... Oops, hold on a sec, my son just shit his pants and I need to go grab some wipes." Put the phone back down... rinse, repeat.

Re:I wonder..

[Anonymous Cowpat]

perhaps you should have a "if you are a telemarketer press 1" message (and all the other ones for various other call destinations). Then, when they press "1" you've got them!
"Please hold while we transfer you to the call handling system"
*cheesy music*
"Please hold. You are in a queue. We value your call and it's potential to offer us a great deal.
*cheesy music*
"You are now connected to the incoming call system - please hold"
*cheesy music*
"If you would like to talk to a human being press 1"
"Thankyou for you interest. Please hold while we transfer you to the call spooler"
*cheesy music*
"All call-lines are currently in use, please hold until one becomes open. We value your call"
*cheesy music*
"You have been transferred to the call spooling system. Please hold"
*cheesy music*
"You have been indentified as a telemarketer. Calls from telemarketers are prevented from direct contact to prevent abuse. Press 1 to leave a message"
"Thankyou for opting to leave a message. We will now transfer you to the messaging system. Please hold."
*cheesy music*
"Welcome to the messaging system. To record your message press 1"
"Please hold while we format the message-space"
*cheesy music*
"Please leave your message after the fifteenth beep"
beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep.bee p.beep.beep.beep.beep.beep
(1 second pause)
beep.
"You didn't leave a a message. We are now transferring you to the call handling system"

ad infinitum. If you can get a premium rate number, all the better.

Speaking of played out...

[JustADude]

Well, you must be new here.

Re:This could be VERY bad

[macdaddy357]

I have a better idea. The bloodsucking parasites who want to take away the do not call list, and get back to robbing old people and the mentally challenged blind, and bothering the rest of us, should simply be killed. They are a menace to society that should be removed from society. I favor bringing back primitive execution methods like drawing and quartering, breaking on the wheel, and crucifiction. That'll show 'em!

Re:I wonder..

[_LMark]

True story:
Back in college I received a call at 7:30 in the morning asking me about my long distance phone service (some poor guy cold calling for AT&T). He asked how much I paid for long distance and I told him honestly 2.9cents/minute (is bigzoo.com still around?) and asked if they could do better... Uh, no, no they couldn't, he said. What is this bigzoo thing anyway, he wanted to know? Well, I explained to him a little bit about it, then my curiousity getting the better of me, I asked him why he was doing such an obviously rewardless job. Turns out that he's a poor college student too. Meanwhile, I guess he was looking up bigzoo.com on his computer while chatting with me. I end the conversation by saying, "you should check bigzoo out, it's pretty nice" to which he responded, "yeah, I've been looking at it as we talked. That is sweet, I'm signing up right now"

So yeah, I think that qualifies as ironic or something.