Owner of the Word Stealth 'Protecting' Rights

popo writes "Just when you thought ownership of intellectual property couldn't get any more absurd: The New York Times is reporting that the word 'Stealth' is being vigorously protected *in all uses* by a man who claims to exclusively own its rights. Not only has he gone head to head with Northrop Grumman, he has pursued it vigorously in the courts and has even managed to shut down "stealthisemail.com" (Steal This Email.com) because the URL coincidentally contains the word "stealth". What's terrifying is that he's gotten as far as he has."

What happens when...

[Deltaspectre]

he finds out about the 'Stealth' bomber?

Oh no!

[Colonoh]

Does this mean we have to change the C&C "stealth" tank to "unobtrusive and hard to see" tank"?

Screw That

[orange haired boy]

I just posted the word "Stealth" on my blog about 50 times. Just try and sue me. http://www.orangehairedboy.com/ [orangehairedboy.com]

Gotten So Far

[XFilesFMDS1013]

What's terrifying is that he's gotten as far as he has.

Not really, I'd just have to say that he's been very furtive and sneaky about it, indeed, he's acted quite surreptitiously about the whole thing.

I got my own...

[toupsie]

I just copyrighted, trademarked and patented the word "The"(c)(tm) (both pronunciations) along with a whole host of definite and indefinite articles. I will be vigorously pursuing everyone using "The"(c)(tm) in books, film and sound recordings. Unless you license "The"(c)(tm) at the low, low price of $0.01 per usage, I will send the(c)(tm) RIAA, MPAA and the(c)(tm) NLAKC (Nazi Librarian Association of Knuckle Crackers) to hound each and everyone of you. And don't let me catch you using Peer to Peer technology to distribute "The"(c)(tm). Recent Supreme Court rulings will allow me to go after such tecnologies as the(c)(tm) keyboard, CRTs and web browsers (you are in my sights "The"(c)(tm) abuser, Bill Gates).

Re:So how about

[HaloZero]

I appreciate that a lot of movies lately really haven't been up to par as one might expect, but do we really have to bury them before they've even made it to the screen? I, personally, want to go see this movie, and am willing to give it a chance. I don't quite see why they're all horrible the moment they're concieved.

Further, I wouldn't be surprised if this guys campagin goes after the theatrical production compan because of this movie. I would, however, be surprised if he got anywhere with it. I'm not sure how Northrup-Grumman are experienced with defending themselves against the legaleese vigilantes with half-wit agendas, but I'm more than positive that the Motion Picture Association of America is more than prepared for dealing with that sort of chaff in today's legal atmosphere.

Re:I know what to do

[FLEB]

Omit the registering and the lawsuit, and I might be interested.

Would it be unconstitutional if Congress made a law to... you know... just smack this guy with a rolled-up newspaper or something?

Re:Missing in action...

[MightyMartian]

was unable to find this story.

Stealth in action!

This guy...

[Anonymous Coward]

...is a bigger asshole than goatse.

Not the first time...

[Mister Impressive]

... I'm the owner of PenIsland.com (Get your free pen from us) and I've received a few legal threats from several homosexually-oriented pornography websites (the url's of which I am not of liberty to disclose). This is an outrage, clearly all I am trying to do is provide the world with a service of free pens.


(In case you didn't realise, I don't own the domain and this post was a joke >.>)

Re:while we're at it

[Deltaspectre]

Good thing I have a lithp, tho you can't come after me, Mr. Thmarty Panth

Re:can you trademark common words??

[ag0ny]

Otherwise you'd have people patenting words like "the" and "it"...

Aaaaugh! Aaaugh! Augh! Ohh! Don't say that word!

Wait, now I'm terribly confused.

[jolande]

So Leo Stoller 1985 array of "stealth" brand sporting goods isn't the same product as Sony's Columbia Picture's major motion picture release of a similar name? Could somebody please explain this to me? Because I really did think they were the same thing. But I guess I was wrong.

Re:But...

[dratox]

To whomever does kill him, PLEASE make sure that his death is slow painful, and excessively cruel

I prefer...

[Anonymous Coward]

What else could account for his major asshole-ry.

I prefer to pronounce it ass-holery. The way you have it (asshole-ry = asshole ree?) is more difficult to pronounce, I find. Of course that's just a matter of personal preference. But then what isn't these days? After all, we've got people who prefer eating plain bread to bread with butter. My goodness! In any case, I wish you and yours a fine evening.

This Reminds Me...

[__aaclcg7560]

Some idiot claimed to have a patent on the microprocessor long before anyone else took a patent out and he was suing everyone in sight. The funny thing about his patent application that it includes only football play diagrams. I never heard what happened to the idiot or how far he got in collecting money.

I've always wondered...

[dapic]

what "squatting" means without "cyber". Now I know. :(

My new business model:
1. Register trademark for cool words in all industries
2. wait for someone actually develops product that can be described using the word
3. wait more so the "damage" becomes extensive
4. file lawsuit
5. Profit!!!

ViaGrafix vs. ViagraFix

[Ranger]

managed to shut down "stealthisemail.com" (Steal This Email.com) because the URL coincidentally contains the word "stealth".

I had an acquaintance who worked at a company called Via Grafix in Pryor, OK. The company has been around at least since early nineties. Their website is viagrafix.com. He complained to me that they would get all this email about people asking about viagra. He said those people thought it said ViagraFix not ViaGrafix. I guess it was lucky they got the domain long before viagra came along.

They made a piece of software called DesignCAD, which is a stupid name, because CAD means Computer Aided Design.

Re:Studies Confirm: The World is Full of Idiots

[Anonymous Luddite]

>> If programmers ran the world, the law would be clear, concise, and unambiguous

Just like Perl.

Re:So how about

[geekd]

do we really have to bury them before they've even made it to the screen?

have you seen the commercial for it? It just screams "BAD".

I mean, hoW many movies about AI weapons that turn evil do we need?

Re:So how about

[Romeozulu]

I mean, hoW many movies about AI weapons that turn evil do we need?

One. War Games. Everything since is crap.

Re:July Fools???

[uberdave]

The mod is one who claims to own the word "Stealth"?

Re:July Fools???

[boisepunk]

"That being said, this guy is clearly bringing frivolous lawsuits in order to extort money from people who actually make things."

*cough*Darl McBride!*cough*

Re:So how about

[quantum bit]

And besides, Joshua wasn't really evil, just a little confused.

Re:Studies Confirm: The World is Full of Idiots

[haystor]

Class action lawsuits...you must be a lawyer.

Eight years later I'll get a check for $3.62.

Re:Studies Confirm: The World is Full of Idiots

[nick_davison]

If programmers ran the world, the law would be clear, concise, and unambiguous. Or at least that's what they'd like to think. Anybody who's actually studied law knows that actual human interactions are full of corner cases, and ass-coverings easily outweigh the meat of most contracts.

Anyone who's ever spent any time programming has discovered something pretty similar.

The law's actually almost exactly like what a programmer would create:

1.0: Ten commandments. Look they're pretty obvious people. How the hell can you get them wrong.

1.0.1: Yes, it's still stealing even if you do intend to give it back.

1.5: Hmm. How did we miss rape? Technically you're not stealing anything physical. If she's unmarried, you're not coveting anything. OK, we'll add rape.

2.0: The seventeen commandments really don't have the same cool ring the ten commandments once had. So we decided to release 2.0: The Magna Carter.

2.7: OK, men can vote regardless of station in life. But they have to be over 21.

3.0 (Forked) So we decided to fork the law. A bunch of us used to work for BritainCo. but we were totally bummed out by their management. So we formed US Inc. We're still going to support legacy laws under the British system because, frankly, it works well enough, it's really big and it'd cost a fortune to overhaul it.

3.1 You know, let's stop calling these things version numbers. Let's call them "ammendments"

3.1.1 Adding guns. Everyone should be allowed a gun. It makes perfect sense in this day and age. If times change, people in the future will totally have the sense to understand this was an ammendment, relevent to the time, and so can completely be ammended back out, right?

etc.

We're up to 3.8.7.2.5.4.b.ii at the moment. At which point a lot of programmers are starting to talk about how they'd do it far better if they were allowed to create a truly optimized system.

At some point, no doubt, a Swedish guy will write a new system of basic laws and then others will build on it.

At which point the US will nuke him out of existence for sounding far too much like the German guy (Marx) who did something pretty similar and came up with a system that was bad for the entertainment industry and thus bad for America.

Re:But...

[eikonos]

Preferably his killer will be a stealthy ninja who will quietly step out of the shadows and say, "Do you own the trademark to the word irony too?" and then stab him.

Re:bittorrent is next

[suwain_2]

A.) "Terminator" is on that list. I hear someone in the California executive branch might have something to say about that.

B.) The logos are the ugliest things I've ever seen (goatse included), and half of them don't even load.

C.) Is "renting" your trademarks out actually a legitimate business strategy?

I'm actually not sure that's quite what goes on. If I'm understanding this correctly, people pay $300 a year so that RentAMark.com can "proclaiming to the world" that the phrase "tree house" "is famous, well known, in use and not abandoned."

Re:You know, we used to have a simple solution

[suwain_2]

Someone who's this greedy... would discretely get his ass kicked one day

Do you mean stealthily?

Re:bittorrent is next

[pandich]

His logos are genius. Simply put, the most profound use of the pixel since Pong. The colors are bold, never sassy, bright and in your face. The word "Sentra" becomes more than mere syllables or phonemes: it becomes a visual orgasm!

Re:But...

[FLEB]

With an iron blade? That would be... you know... ...

cliche?

The day they shot the lawyers

[Anonymous Coward]

In one of Heinline's later future histories they refer to 'the day they shot all the lawyers.'

Add spammers and I'm game - How does August 6th work for everybody?

sign me,
Anonymous yet well armed Coward

Re:What happens when...

[ericdano]

RTFA!!

"The best-known stealth brand may be the military's B2 stealth bomber, whose main contractor, Northrop Grumman, has fought Mr. Stoller to something of standoff. In 2001, the company paid Mr. Stoller $10 and agreed to abandon its trademark applications to use "stealth bomber" in spinoff products like model airplanes and video games. In return, Mr. Stoller agreed not to oppose Northrop's use of "stealth" in aircraft or defense equipment."

Damn, I'm going to trademark "Cock", and "Money Shot" and take over the porn industry.

Re:Stealth

[Clock Nova]

Stealth, stealth, stealth, stealth, stealth, stealth, stealth, stealth, beans, and stealth.

SHUT UP!

Bloody vikings.

Re:What happens when...

[Master of Transhuman]

He got TEN DOLLARS?

I'd have held out for fifteen at LEAST! In fact, I'd have demanded Northrop pay for a twenty dollar blowjob! As it is, he got fucked up the ass for ten bucks!

Someone trademark his name!

[macshune]

I'm against unmitigated douchebaggery just as much as the next slashdotter, so I'm going to suggest that someone should really trademark this guy's name.

Then, every time he serves someone with legal papers, the trademarkee can write a C&D filled with flowerly language to him because the real, trademarked Leo "The Marktard" Stoller would never be such a mean person.

Re:Studies Confirm: The World is Full of Idiots

[mattjb0010]

3.0 (Forked) So we decided to fork the law. A bunch of us used to work for BritainCo. but we were totally bummed out by their management. So we formed US Inc. We're still going to support legacy laws under the British system because, frankly, it works well enough, it's really big and it'd cost a fortune to overhaul it.

Happy Fork Day!

some chutzpah! from the FA

[toby]

The guy claims to own "chutzpah" as well. What a putz.

Re:He's taking on

[neillewis]

That's a great way to market a movie to geeks. Maybe if Spielberg had called his new sci-fi epic 'War of the Worlds (SCO Sucks)' he'd have got some more publicity and done better opening weekend business, it's just a suggestion.

Re:You know, we used to have a simple solution

[jizmonkey]

Someone who's this greedy... would discretely get his ass kicked one day

Do you mean stealthily?

No, it means he will receive an integer number of kicks in the ass. It's rather difficult to kick someone a fractional number of times.

Re:Studies Confirm: The World is Full of Idiots

[Airwall]

3.0 (Forked)

I forked the law,
The law won.

Re:Northrop Grumman stalemate?

[julesh]

For everything else, there are lawyers.

And you'll be hearing from ours shortly. Thanks.

Mastercard Legal Department.

Re:But...

[deimtee]

With an iron blade? That would be... you know... ...

...Ferrous?

Re:July Fools???

[zoney_ie]

There's a window-cleaning company in my area called "Windows 2000".

Re:You know, we used to have a simple solution

[jejones]

Someone who's this greedy, self-centered and determined to make a mess of everyone's life, liberty and property for his own advancement would discretely get his ass kicked one day on his way home from work.

As opposed to continuously?

Re:Studies Confirm: The World is Full of Idiots

[Dogtanian]

And if anybody thinks this is cute, I wrote my own fucking will rather than pay some dirty pirate lawyer to do it. Any monkey could do it.

I hired a monkey to write my will, but all I got was the complete works of Shakespeare.

What about...

[Anonymous Coward]

SlealThisTrademark/StealthIsTradmark and use it to really wind up plank up.

Dear Mr. Dickerman:

[Winkhorst]

As legal representative of the Cease & Desist Corporation and its owner, Mr Bernard Dickman, I must remind you that "cease and desist" is a legally registered trademark of said corporation and that your use of the term creates a serious danger of confusion of your company with said corporation in that their business operations are essentially identical to yours, that is, the badgering of companies large and small into paying money for the use of plain English words that have been trademarked. Kindly cease and desist (TM) immediately and we will forego any legal action against you and your company.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Emily Flywheel
Flywheel, Shyster, Flywheel and Camshaft, Attorneys at Law

Re:July Fools???

[da]

So, you can compare apples with apples, but not Apples with Apples..?

Re:You know, we used to have a simple solution

[Bvardi]

"No, it means he will receive an integer number of kicks in the ass. It's rather difficult to kick someone a fractional number of times."

What if you do a half-assed kick?

Re:He's taking on

[JudicatorX]

"On a quarterly basis, or any portion thereof . . . 1% (two percent) of the gross

There's that slashdot math again....

Re:Diamond Stealth Video Cards

[shellbeach]

I'm trying to find what year these cards initially launched.

Mid 90's, IIRC - my 1996 Cyrix bomb had a Diamond Stealth card in it. It wasn't any good, mind you - it was the only thing in that box that made the Cyrix processor look good in comparison ...