Utah Governor Signs Net-Porn Bill

All Names Have Been writes "House bill 260 has been signed into law by Utah's governor. It creates a list of websites that are not 'safe for children' and forces ISPs to block these sites for those who request it. In addition, content providers who host or create content in Utah for profit must now rate their websites or face 3rd degree felony charges. A similar law in Pennsylvania was struck down last year." (See this earlier story, too.)

gee its ok

[Anonymous Coward]

to kill babies and murder people who go against the church, but Gof forbid someone see some boobies.

Hmmmm

[MikeXpop]

At first, I thought this was horrible.

But now, I can't wait for that list to leak.

*Rubs hands together*

Re:Wow!

[Anonymous Coward]

I suppose yro.slashdot.org really stands for year old...

web sites to be banned in Utah

[Anonymous Coward]

sex.com, bigtits.com, groklaw.net, allgirls.com...

Re:Hmmmm

[WhatAmIDoingHere]

I just spent like 5 minutes reading through the entire bill looking for any mentions of specific sites... for.. science.

Last ISP to leave Utah...

[Ars-Fartsica]

...please turn off the router.

Seriously, how long until they move three feet over the state border to circumvent this?

Cool Job Opportunity

[anagama]

How many here would like to work for the UT AG's office as the official porn site screener? Can you imagine, getting decent pay, good benefits and spending your days surfing porn? I wonder if telecomuting is an option (I need saltwater proximity).

Re:the Constitution: our new toilet paper

[Kraeloc]

Oh, but it's for the children! We must protect the children! If they go to too many porn sites, they might forget to take their 80 milligrams of Ritalin every day!

Thanks Utah!

[xbsd]

Finally! It was about time someone addresses the need for a porn directory with no credit card involved in this country!

Re:Wow!

[Anonymous Coward]

It's Utah. Just assume any law restricting porn in any way will pass.

Dude...

[xtal]

It's UTAH.

No guessing or assuming required.

Re:Hmmmm

[Surazal]

The first thing I did when reading that article was to look at porn.

Orrin Hatch, let me say this. You "win". Quotes are included on purpose.

Re:HAve you actually read the bill?

[phauxfinnish]

Two Words:

Google Translate.

Re:WRONG!

[Camel Pilot]

This is such an obvious troll for a Bush joke that I refuse to take the bait :)

Presenting The UTAH ISP BOFH

[merc]

Apologies in advance to Simon Travaglia.

Here's how I see Utah ISPs conforming to this new (yes, at this point, only proposed) legislation, *should* it become law:

Utah ISP rep: Thanks for calling XYZ Internet, how may I help you?

Caller: Um, yes, per SB 260, I demand you make any indecent or pornographic material inaccessible from my account!

Utah ISP rep: No problem ma'am, I can do that right now. What is your account name please?

Caller: My account is blah-de-blah.

Utah ISP rep: .. mm, no problem, one moment, *clickety-clickety-click* ... there you go, all set, give that a try.

Caller: ah, great, lemme just get online and uh.. hey, it says login incorrect.. and.. what the..

Utah ISP rep: *CLICK* (dial tone).. "If you'd like to make a call, please hangup and dial your operator."

Caller: AAAARGGHH!

Re:Utah as a religious dictatorship

[LittleLebowskiUrbanA]

if you want to know what we "Mormons" believe in, ask a good, practicing Mormon.

OK, I'll ask you a few questions then.

-Do you believe that Joseph Smith had magic spectacles with which he translated the Book of Mormon?

-Why do Mormons wear long underwear with Masonic symbols on it?

-Do you believe that Native Americans rather than originating from crossing over from Siberia to Alaska are a lost tribe of the Israelites?

-Do you believe that blacks are the descendants of Cain; an associate of Lucifer as stated by your church?

-Do you believe you will rule your own planet when you die?

Re:WRONG!

[mvdw]

Cities with Bans on Pornography Being Shipped to them

...

Dallas, Texas

Oh, the irony...

Re:WRONG!

[flyingsquid]

You guys give guns to your children for xmas, but you can't buy dildos. Whoa!

So how about a gun where the barrel is shaped like a dildo- that would be protected under the second Amendment. Man, THAT would confuse the hell out of a lot of Texans...

"You can have my dildo when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!"

Hot Mormon action.

[infonography]

Hot action with skirts above the ankles. You'll be saying your prayers extra hard tonight. (wink wink).

Second hand reviews of the movie Orgazmo, hear in detail why you should keep your wife/wives and children from seeing it.

Jittery in Seattle, also called 'They drink by night', lurid tales of coffee junkies in Seattle, staying up till way after 11pm, Not for the weak of stomach.

Christ-sploitation websites and how to thump your bible for Her Maximum pleasure.

Re:Utah makes TX and FL look good some times

[dbIII]

Utah can't really exist - all the Utah references must just be a joke people in the USA like to play on gullible foreigners.

The land of polygamy and marrying 13 year olds (wasn't that last year?) cracking down on porn? It's like the land of sleaze going crazy over just one nipple.

Re:Hmmmm

[grumpygrodyguy]

Uhhh, Orrin Hatch is NOT the govenor of Utah. He did not put this bill into law.

Yeah, but he's still an asshole.

Re:Wow you're low brow

[geminidomino]

Heh. Actually, it made him look funny and you look like a whiny, PC dickhead.

Re:Not so fast

[kesler]

So the only one in Utah looking at Porn will be the Attorney General?

I'm announcing my intention to run for Attorney General of Utah.

Re:WRONG!

[Johnny5000]

Actually I recently heard about some raids in Texas for just this sort of thing. I'd try to find a link, but I'm at work and if anyone checks the logs here I don't want them to wonder why I looked up 'Texas dildo raid' on google.

Re:Utah as a religious dictatorship

[Jedi Alec]

hmmm, I was under the impression the descendants of Caine were vampires...oh well, another dream shattered.

Re:Kids have no rights...

[Saeger]

I know of people with a 12 year old, and they won't let her use the internet for any reason, and when she watches tv, it has to be pre-approved. She is not allowed to date, and she wears clothing her parents buy her. She is also enrolled in a private school, and the parents review the curriculum, to ensure they approve.

Sooo... she'll be a rebellious stripper in about 6 more years?

Re:Wow you're low brow

[digitalgiblet]

"Go out onto a street, accost an average-looking housewife, and try to tell her about Jesus. Now accost another one and try to tell her about string theory. Dollars to donuts you'll get the same reaction from both."

OK. I tried this experiment. You were absolutely correct! I got the EXACT same reaction from both!

As a result I'm setting up a paypal account for all you slashdotters to poney up the dough for my bail. Who'd have guessed accosting a couple average-looking housewives would have stirred up so much trouble? BTW, NEVER, EVER tell a woman she is average looking...