Attempt to Apply Decency Standards to Cable/Satellite Television 709
bigtallmofo writes "Reuters is reporting that Senate Commerce Committee Chairman Ted Stevens (Senator from Alaska) is pushing for decency standards to apply to cable television and subscription satellite TV and radio. You may recall Senator Stevens for voting against a measure to criticize the FCC in 2003 for loosening its broadcast ownership restrictions. Maybe he thinks profanity provides an unfair advantage to his broadcast-company constituents?" We touched on this last year, in the attempt to apply decency standards to satellite radio.
Easy solution (Score:5, Funny)
"Warning: WE HAVE NOT CHECKED IF THIS MOVIE IS DECENT"
Finally, decent movies! (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, wait, did they mean "decency" as in, no words like "fuck" or "cunt", and no bare tits or ass? Damn. There's a good number of decent flicks that we'll be missing if that goes through then...
Will this censor premium channels? (Score:3, Funny)
Don't push it Alaska (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Go all the way (Score:5, Funny)
Still watching the 700 club too, eh? (Score:3, Funny)
Oh. Still watching the 700 Club [cbn.com], are we?
Re: Go all the way (Score:5, Funny)
> After all, won't somebody think of the children?
I think Michael Jackson has that covered.
With apologies to Johnny Horton (Score:5, Funny)
Bringin' pork, (Pork for Alaska)
Pork! for Alaska,
They bring pork, the rush is on!
Pork! for Alaska,
They bring pork, the rush is on!
Big Ted left Alaska in the year '72,
On the Senate Rules Committee, was a real workhorse too,
With George and Michael Powell, and the FCC gang too.
They crossed the Yukon River and found the bonanza gold
Below that white-domed fountain, way the hell southeast of Nome.
Ted crossed the majestic mountains to the valleys far below.
He talked to his team of lobbyists as he mushed on through the snow.
With the northern lights a-running wild in the land of the midnight sun,
Yes, Teddy Stevens, a mighty man, in the year 2001.
Where the river is winding,
Pig nuggets they're finding!
Pork for Alaska!
They bring pork, the rush is on.
George turned to Ted with his pork in his hand,
Said: "Ted you're a-lookin' at a lonely, lonely man.
"I'd trade all the pork that's buried in this land,
"For one small slab of pork to[no, no NO, we are NOT goin' to find out what happened to Ginny in this filk as long as I have any say at the FCC]
To the tune of North to Alaska [cowboylyrics.com], Johnny Horton
Re:so sad (Score:1, Funny)
I think the question on all of our minds is... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Land of the Free (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Still watching the 700 club too, eh? (Score:3, Funny)
I got a mental image of a 24x7 network for SNL's andro-Pat.
(cringe!)
The Land of the Free... My Ass (Score:5, Funny)
Can you imagine what might happen if a child were exposed to a breast again? My goodness, we've got to stop this breastfeeding, surely that's turning infants into sexual deviants!
Imagine some kid hearing the word "fuck". I mean, it's for certain that he'll drop out of his First United Calvinistic Church of Believers are Saved and Unbelievers Will Fry Like BBQed Hotdogs and become a gay Satanist, or even worse, a Democrat!
We must silence Howard Stern! Fartman must die! He must be replaced with righteous men like Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson, men of loving intolerance! After all, this is a Christian nation (Muslims and Jews temporarily accepted), and we know that the Founding Fathers didn't really mean "free speech" as in free. Besides, we have to make certain sacrifices to assure that Wardrobe Malfunctions, quite possibly planned by Osama bin Laden to destroy Jesus Christ's favorite sports telecast; the Superbowl, never happen again.
In the FCC Patriot Act 2005, we will make sure the US is a decent, moral society where fags are pushed back in the closet, Howard Stern is forced off the air, and rich Republican supporters get more well-deserved tax breaks. After all, that's what America is really about. Oh, and we have $500 kazillion bounty on that freaky English guy, Eric Idle, for his evil anti-FCC song. If you are not with us in our quest to regulate and control your thoughts, then you are against us.
Re:Will this censor premium channels? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Discount? (Score:5, Funny)
Because:
Those of us who have children are smarter than you.
Those of us with children know what's best for everyone.
Those of us with children can't and shouldn't actually be held responsible for raising said children.
Its for the children. Anyone who disagrees with that is just an *ssh*l*
Re:Don't push it Alaska (Score:5, Funny)
Ted [visi.com] and Lisa [visi.com] and Don [visi.com]are part of our fiendish plot to get the U.S. so sick of us that they kick us out, so that we don't have to go to the bother of a revolution. Sort of a ``be revolting so we don't have to revolt'' strategy.
Re:so sad (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Land of the Free (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Easy solution - some standards (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Discount? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Discount? (Score:5, Funny)
Anyone who disagrees is logging into a secure shell session? wha?
Re:Big difference (Score:2, Funny)
That is completely untrue. It has been years since MTV has shown videos.
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