How to Fix U.S. Patents

Frisky070802 writes "IEEE Spectrum has an interesting article on how to fix the U.S. patent system. It starts with an example of how broken the system is, with Smuckers suing a small company for crustless PB&J. It has a great overview of how the system has evolved and how much it favors the big patent holders, and suggests 3 specific fixes: 'create incentives and opportunities for parties to challenge the novelty and nonobviousness of an invention before the PTO grants a patent,' examine the important patents meticulously; don't waste effort on the unimportant ones that can be ousted early, and for examining prior art, use judges and special masters rather than uninformed juries."

Aha!

[bleckywelcky]

And here's my solution to the nation's overpacked prisons: everybody behave! See, it's really just that easy ... now go do it!

This just in...

[Tackhead]

> IEEE Spectrum has an interesting article on how to fix the U.S. patent system. [ ... ] and suggests 3 specific fixes: 'create incentives and opportunities for parties to challenge the novelty and nonobviousness of an invention before the PTO grants a patent,' examine the important patents meticulously; don't waste effort on the unimportant ones that can be ousted early, and for examining prior art, use judges and special masters rather than uninformed juries."

In other news, David Boies, acting on behalf of Darl McBride, has filed three suits against IEEE for infringement of patents #13,371,337 #3,133,731,337, and #8,013,580,135, "Method for fixing the US Patent System", "Method for Borking a Patent System", and "Method for Subtly Implying That Every Idea In The World Is Mine, All Mine", respectively.

How to fix patents?

[Joey Patterson]

Use the CowboyNeal option.

I Would

[Anonymous Coward]

Patent Raquel Welch... ...And I have a feeling she'd patent me.

Oh!

[Icarus1919]

This is a great way to fix the system! They should patent it!

This is actually easy to fix...

[Ooblek]

Just put all the stupid, opportunistic, just-graduated-from-law-school-and-need-to-prove-I -have-a-large-penis lawyers on a boat, take it to the middle of the pacific, and sink it.

Re:And the chances...

[mordors9]

Just like my family will ignore them. My daughter has been eating crustless pb&j for years and will continue to do so. Damn the lawyers.

Won't work...

[Dr.Dubious DDQ]

The sharks will just carry them safely back to shore. ("Professional Courtesy".)

Re:Another idea

[Planesdragon]

Governement-endorsed monopolies in a free-market system are bad.

Yeah. What we need are competing power wire systems! I want a forest of wire strung about my city, darnit!

If you can't beat them...

[deblau]

join them. Apply for a patent on sending commercial solicitations through electronic mail, then start suing spammers [spamhaus.org] out of existence. For bonus points, send them your first C&D letter in an email entitled "Make BIG $$$ using teh p.a.t.e.n.t system!11!1!!!1 LOLOMGWTF"

Re:adult consent

[Alci12]

> Wealthy?

Crustless PB&J?

[Macrobat]

So...anybody who trims the crust off of their own bread is doing an illegal sandwich mod?

And to think, David Carradine does this in Kill Bill, v. 2. I wouldn't have gone to see that movie if I knew it had a scene that displayed such contempt for the law!

Re:Aha!

[caswelmo]

Wow, a tad defensive don't you think?

It's pretty easy to fix US Parents...

[Ensign Regis]

Although you'll probably want to sedate them first.

Re:Crustless PB&J?

[Geoffreyerffoeg]

So...anybody who trims the crust off of their own bread is doing an illegal sandwich mod?

No. Read the patent. [uspto.gov] It's actually a pretty clever design (though probably not original). The bread is crimped around the edge so the sandwich can stay for some time without danger of leaking. The jelly is surrounded by the sticky peanut butter, which both prevents jelly leaks and helps hold the edges of the bread together.

It looks like this (with bread slices at the top):
/PBPBPBPBPB\
<PBJJJJJJPB>
\PBPBPBPBPB/

Re:Aha!

[maxwell demon]

the few highly addictive 'hard' drugs that really do fuck people up (ice and heroin come to mind)

Ice? I didn't know that frozen water is considered a hard drug.

Re:Aha!

[Fig, formerly A.C.]

Drugs and violence are bad, mmkay? So have a cigarrette and a beer and go watch some football instead like a normal well-adjusted person.

We're so well off in the USA we can even afford to have two standards. ;-)