Microsoft Patents 'IsNot', Enlists WTO 720
Milhouse102 writes "I was just reading an article on The Register about Microsoft's offshore patent war following Ballmer's recent outburst in Asia. I came across this little nugget, it seems MS has patented BASIC's IsNot operator."
Am too. (Score:5, Funny)
oblig (Score:4, Funny)
IsNot Microsoft? (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft Also Patents (Score:3, Funny)
Microsoft: "IsTo"! damn forgot to patent that one!
The world (Score:1, Funny)
Re:lets patent else too! (Score:3, Funny)
But seriously, is there prior art? (i'm not old enough to know :P)
Re:Am too. (Score:5, Funny)
It's brilliant... (Score:4, Funny)
In other news (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Yeah, well, I'm gonna patent IsToo! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Not Quite (Score:5, Funny)
800 posts later, slashdotters still haven't deciphered the meaning of the headline.
Re:GNU is_not Unix (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:5, Funny)
That is correct. We'll see you in court.
Signed,
Amazon.com
To quote Clinton... (Score:5, Funny)
What we really need is... (Score:1, Funny)
Programmers should be able to tell what methods and operators are patented before they call them
IF not IsPatented( IsNot() ) Then
IsNot(....
ELSE
OneTimeIsNotHandle = PayToUseIsNot(CC#, CC Type, CC Expiration)
OneTimeIsNotHandle(....
END IF
My Sister! (Score:1, Funny)
Microsoft patents ones and zeros... (Score:5, Funny)
REDMOND, WA--In what CEO Bill Gates called "an unfortunate but necessary step to protect our intellectual property from theft and exploitation by competitors," the Microsoft Corporation patented the numbers one and zero Monday.
With the patent, Microsoft's rivals are prohibited from manufacturing or selling products containing zeroes and ones--the mathematical building blocks of all computer languages and programs--unless a royalty fee of 10 cents per digit used is paid to the software giant.
"Microsoft has been using the binary system of ones and zeroes ever since its inception in 1975," Gates told reporters. "For years, in the interest of the overall health of the computer industry, we permitted the free and unfettered use of our proprietary numeric systems. However, changing marketplace conditions and the increasingly predatory practices of certain competitors now leave us with no choice but to seek compensation for the use of our numerals."
Read More. [villanova.edu]
--
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Re:Yeah, well, I'm gonna patent IsToo! (Score:4, Funny)
Elegance. (Score:5, Funny)
I am currently trying to patent multiplication so all of you owe me a nickel everytime you times.
Re:Microsoft Also Patents (Score:5, Funny)
I believe you mean, "I IsNot an English major."
Re:Am too. (Score:3, Funny)
Another "duh" moment in the patent office.
Coming soon: Elements of Style for VB Programmers (Score:3, Funny)
From the patent application: Such a language construction is ungrammatical, requires more typing and violates the philosophy on which BASIC rests. It would be helpful therefore, if a single more intuitive operator could perform the function that the combination of the two operators Is and Not typically performs.
Microsoft is simultaneously announcing the publication of an updated version of The Elements of Style [amazon.com], revised specifically for Visual BASIC programmers.
"We're concerned with the literacy rates among VB programmers," says Microsoft chairman Bill Gates. "How can programmers learn to write correctly in English when they're exposed on a day-to-day basis with ungrammatical programming constructs?"
Not everyone agrees with the initiative. Some people are expressing concern that Microsoft is concentrating on grammatical correctness at the expense of program correctness. Stay tuned for further details on this exciting development in the annals of programming history.
EricMore humor here [ericgiguere.com]
Lets patent this: (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Yeah, well, I'm gonna patent IsToo! (Score:2, Funny)
no longer will GNU be GNU isNot UNIX!
Yes, but GAU Ain't UNIX doesn't have that same academic feel to it...
Re:Am too. (Score:3, Funny)
Thanks for helping get rid of that elsif abomination!
In other news... (Score:3, Funny)
"i started hte develepoment process ovr 6 month ago when my mom baught me a comptutor for my birthday. i realised that most of that i said was saying the same thing as somebody else but it was hard to say it the same but differently. si i invented the process of typing 'Me too!' as a mechanicalism to show agreement with somebody, while saving on band-witdh and time", Iain said in an Online interview with Wired today. "What colour bra?", he continued before adding, "shit sorry, wrong window".
Microsoft's director of licensing David Kaefer indicated that MSN chat users who subscribed to their licence indemnification program would not have anything to worry about, raising speculation that Microsoft are preparing a hostile takeover of Iain. "Me too!", added Microsoft CEO, Steve Ballmer.
oh my... so now instead... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I'll patent "Double dumbass on you" (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Not Quite (Score:5, Funny)
800 posts later, Slashdotters still are complaining about the dupe.
Re:IsNot Microsoft? (Score:5, Funny)
My favorite software company IsNot Microsoft
My favorite internet company IsNot Microsoft
My news site of choice IsNot MSN
My webmail site of choice IsNot Microsoft Hotmail
My game console IsNot a Microsoft XBox
My favorite CEO IsNot Microsofts Steve Ballmar
My... oh forget it....
No worries (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:IsNot Microsoft? (Score:1, Funny)
What they're really going after is open source. (Score:3, Funny)
Pine Is Not Elm.
Wine Is Not an Emulator.
Who puts their names on something like this? (Score:3, Funny)
In most situations where Microsoft employees act like rat bastards people place the blame on this nebulous entity "Microsoft", but for a patent application the names of real people to blame are published for the whole world to see! What kind of circle of friends must you have if you're not too ashamed to put your name on such a blatant attempt at defrauding the legal system as a means of stifling your competitors?
"So, what did you do at work today?"
"I filed a patent for pointer comparisons in BASIC, pretending to have invented a programming technique older than I am in order to help my criminal employer keep competiting compilers incompatible and thus entrap our customers. And you?"
"Oh, same old, same old. Those puppies don't just drown themselves, you know!"
Re:Am too. (Score:5, Funny)
The iSnot. I like it. It has potential. I wonder how much it will cost.
Re:Am too. (Score:2, Funny)
Bad news...
IsKnot was commandeered by penknife-wielding boyscouts and iSnot is the name of the new Apple handkerchief.
From the release notes of NonMSVisualBasic (Score:4, Funny)
NonMSVisualBasic (NMSVB for short) is identical in every respect to Microsoft Visual Basic [trademark owned by Microsoft, all rights reserved by them] except that it lacks an IsNot operator. Instead, please use one of the following methods:
- !Is()
- MicrosoftSucksAss()
- SoftwarePatentsSuckAss()
- NotIs()
We apologize for the inconvenience; please direct all further questions on this issue to billg@microsoft.com.Re:Not Quite (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:IsNot Microsoft? (Score:3, Funny)
you could work around it simply by calling the operator Isnt.
Or even aint
Re:I'm gong to be rich! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wheel keeps turning (Score:5, Funny)
been there. done that. [att.net]
GNU? (Score:3, Funny)
iSnot (Score:1, Funny)
Free - Just 'Pick' one... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Free - Just 'Pick' one... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:3, Funny)
Is too! ($0.20)
Is not! ($0.40)
Is too! ($0.60)
Is not! ($0.80)
Is too! ($1.00)
Is not! ($1.20)
$etc...
Re:Am too. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:5, Funny)
I'm sure Apple will make you pay through the nose.
Re:Am too. (Score:2, Funny)
That's fine for KDE, but Gnome developers must use isGnot.
Re: your sig (Score:0, Funny)
Conservatives: sugar and spice and everything nice
Liberals: baby eating, blood drinker, satan worshippers, terrorist sympathisers, want to ban the bible and feed christians to the lions, pedophiles and drug addicts
There. Isn't that better, dumbass?
Re:I'm gong to be rich! (Score:5, Funny)
No, but you should see his colon....
Never mind, forget I said that.
Re:Am too. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:1, Funny)
Eh? No, they want to know what colors it comes in. Price is no object to a True Apple Fan
Re:Am too. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:IsNot Microsoft? (Score:5, Funny)
Microsoft Windows = sux0r
Microsoft Inc = sux0r
MSN news = sux0r
Microsoft Hotmail = sux0r
Microsoft XBox = sux0r
Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmar = pwn3d.
Re:Am too. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:3, Funny)
Can you all please use French, Spanish, Italian or German for your comments, from now on?
Many thanks.
Obligatory Bush Flame (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:3, Funny)
Damn; just realised there's a loophole.
You're OK as long as you apply ROT-13 encoding on your posts.
ROT-26 is also acceptable.
Re:Not Quite (Score:2, Funny)
could microsoft claim the patent system infringed on "their" IP? then maybe they'll sue the patent office out of business and then no more ridiculous patents will be made. a win-win situation!
1984, rephrased (Score:3, Funny)
Paraphrasing Orwell only slightly, "Freedom is the freedom to say that two plus two is not five; everything else will follow."
Re:Am too. (Score:2, Funny)
postgreSnot runs faster
Is running really what we want Snot to be doing?
Re:Am too. (Score:4, Funny)
But to take it one step further, the government could just outsourse the rubberstamping to some foreign country, so that the current expensive rubberstamping solution would be just as expensive for us, but would provide a hidden US government subsidy to said country.
I would not be surprised to find out that future patents will be rubberstamped by children in the slums of Baghdad.
With Extra SarcaSauce, the administration will defend its policy by stating: "They should be glad to be alive."
Re:So am I infringing if... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Am too. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Prior art (Score:1, Funny)
Well, there are no pointers in Java. References, sure, but not pointers. Which is why, if you try to dereference a null one, you get a NullPointerException.
Oh, wait...
Respuesta obligatoria de Futurama (Score:3, Funny)
Cheers,
Adolfo
Thank you, Prez Clinton. (Score:4, Funny)
Microsoft is innovative (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Respuesta obligatoria de Futurama (Score:4, Funny)
Is that a Babelfish translation or did I screw that up entirely
-- n
An MS bounty on patents? (Score:3, Funny)
This may be a sign that an MS employee gets a bonus every time they patent something. No question that MS has patent fever-- what better way to get everything under the sun patented than to connect an employee perk to them?
Look for MS to next patent the GOTO HELL command-- while me, I'm trying to get the GOSUB HELL command patented and hope there's a RETURN down there somewhere... :-)
IsCloseEnough or NotReally (Score:2, Funny)
Actually there must be a large number of extensions to the BASIC language that could be patentable, timee to dig throught the source code...
Re:Patent violation (Score:1, Funny)