How about shop-lifting?

Another advantage being that the penalty is less than it is for copyright infringement.

Cashier: I'm sorry, Mr. Constanza, you can't return this book.
George: Why not?
Cashier: It's been flagged. It's been in the bathroom.

"How about shop-lifting?"

My what big muscles you have. Lifting that heavy store all by yourself.

My what big muscles you have. Lifting that heavy store all by yourself.

If I help move lemonade stand equipment, doesn't that count as shop-lifting?

Easy, dont shop in the US, in the EU we have RIGHTS :D

Do we (consumers) need to start a database to somehow screw businesses now too?

we would finger people who returned stuff excessively

Did you work in a sex shop?

So no more returning cable modem and WAP boxes filled with rocks? Alright, back to the drawing board. Geek's gotta get himself through college...

(Don't do this. Don't do this. Don't do this.)

In case you've been wronged by a retailer don't do this:

Leave an egg salad sandwich someplace that can only be traced by smell.

If they sell electronics find a dvd player that's powering a big screen tv. Make your own dvd with about 30 minutes of landscapes followed by a snuff film. Insert disk and leave. This works well for boomboxes and car audio sections too, just have 30 minutes of silence followed by an audio grab from the Spice channel.

Spread pro-union leaflets around the store.

Say the store has three widgets on the shelf and you know it's the kind of place that doesn't keep inventory in the back just move the three items, ask the sales drones you want one and make them play "hide and seek".

Wear a flashing IR LED while shopping. Invisible to the naked eye but will freak out security when they see it on their monitors. If they hassle you tell them it's for nighttime hiking and you forgot it was on.

Be creative!

A friend of mine manages a Home Depot - every year - I kid you not - they get christmas trees returned in January.

I actually thought you were going to say

Jerry: "Excuse me I'd like to return this jacket."

Teller: "Certainly. May I ask why?"

Jerry: "........For spite..."

Teller: "Spite?"

Jerry: "That's right. I don't care for the salesman that sold it to me."

Teller: "I don't think you can return an item for spite."

Jerry: "What do you mean?"

Teller: "Well if there was some problem with the garment. If it were unsatisfactory in some way,then we could do it for you, but I'm afraid spite doesn't fit into any of our conditions for a refund"

Jerry: "That's ridiculous, I want to return it. What's the difference what the reason is."

Teller: "Let me speak with the manager...excuse me .............Bob!"

(walks over to the manager and whispers)

Teller "........spite....."(Manager walks over)

Bob: "What seems to be the problem?"

Jerry : "Well I want to return this jacket and she asked me why and I said for spite and now she won't take it back."

Bob: "That's true. You can't return an item based purely on spite."

Jerry:. "Well So fine then ..then I don't want it and then that's why I'm returning it"

Bob: "Well you already said spite so......"

Jerry: "But I changed my mind.."

Bob: "No...you said spite...Too late."

.. this story was submitted by me last night at 11:20 PM under the name "Databases track customer return 'abuses'" and summarily rejected.

mebbe they have you flagged in a database somewhere for 'excessive submissions'

just a thought...

Well, I've never been asked for an ID when making a return, so... I don't know what to say. Maybe people just trust me?

Sure, that's great. By returning things as an Anonymous Coward you miss out on any chances of earning karma for a good return.

I start screaming while I throw shit at the cashier and manager who can't do anything but listen to a fucking computer.

God.

When are people going to learn that policies and rules are not meant to be zero tolerant? The increasing computerization of our society means everyone of us is being pigeonholed into a specific, discrete category with no ability to escape that categorization. Instead, we're forced to "bear" these types of bullshit.

And we, as a society, complain when we aren't allowed to have responsibility or power. Yes, they go hand in hand. We don't trust our teachers to make decisions regarding the promotion or demotion of a student, so we provide them with a hard rule that can't be bent. We don't trust our managers of our stores to ensure they're profitable so we make all the decisions for them, despite the fact that the local situation is better comprehended by a local manager who is competent.

And in all of these situations where we don't allow decisions to be made we place individuals who are braindead and incapable of making those decisions when the systems break. What happens post Christmas when the return system breaks? Do you send everyone away, afraid that you might be letting someone get away with a $30 theft? To protect your $30.00 you're denying hundreds of legitimate customers their money?

FUCK THAT.

You can cart me out screaming and hollering and sue me for abuse. I'm getting tired of the system, and I intend to start fighting back. This is all bullshit. I'm no stranger to being tossed out from stores, or from screaming at the top of my lungs about what a dipshit someone is, so this is just another fucking cherry on the top of the sundae.

Depends on your definition of a "modal customer".

A modal customer would be one who, when faced with a need to buy a particular item, pauses everything else until he buys it. By way of comparison, a non-modal customer is capable of multi tasking - background tasks aren't put on hold while he's shopping.

...although...I have the URL to the original story available, I declined to link to washingtonpost.com because of their intrusive registration.

What's up Michael? Did they refuse to kick-back some ad revenue to ya or something?

The hilarious part of this is that it can work for you. I was in an accident in July and totalled a $24,000 car. The insurance company paid off the car, paid for the repairs to the other guys car (which was actually fairly minor; my car had rolled, hence the total), then in September when my insurance policy came up for renewal my premiums went DOWN. The reason? Good credit history. AHAHAHA! Granted, this was my only major claim with this insurer, but it was a whopper!

Ive never come across this 'EU rule' that says there must be a 2 year warranty. Infact, Id be very surprised, since most things Ive purchased in the EU has only come with a 1 year manufacturers warrenty.

It's that darn metric conversion thingy.

That's 2 metric years = 1 year avoirdupois.