Toyota Patents Winking, Laughing, Crying Car

theodp writes "If the patent system ain't broke, don't fix it: The NY Times/IHT reports that four inventors working for Toyota in Japan have won a patent for a car that they say can help drivers communicate better by glaring angrily at another car cutting through traffic, as well as appear to cry, laugh, wink or just look around." The article goes on to describe "...a car with an antenna that wags, an adjustable body height, headlights that vary in intensity and hood slits and ornamentation designed to look like eyebrows, eyelids and tears."

What I want to know

[IncarnadineConor]

is what part of the car is going to represent the middle finger

I just want to know...

[Robotech_Master]

...would Herbie the Love Bug count as prior art?

Two Words:

[XCorvis]

Two Words:

Moon Roof

the new kids craze

[CmdrGoatse]

2 tonne furbies on wheels

How long....

[Rob Carr]

...before the first news article "Driver of Glaring Car Shot to Death"?

emotional ricer....

[sickmtbnutcase]

I wonder what expression a riced-out version will show when mom's minivan beats it in a drag race...

Fargin Iceholes!

[Aerog]

So does this include a speech distorter so it sounds like the car is screaming obscenities at the rest of the idiots out there?

I'd set mine to "Bender"

The future is here!

[Bill, Shooter of Bul]

Wait... No, thats totally (for lack of better word, no offense to anyone) Gay. Very Gay. When are you going to make them fly like you promised in the 50's? Thats the future I want. I want a flying car with laser cannons! And missles that come out of the tail pipe! With a racing stripe!

Call them automoticons

[khendron]

Sounds like smilies for cars to me ;-)

Prior art disclosure obligations and Benny

[Nakito]

I hope the inventors complied with their duty to submit a copy of "Roger Rabbit" to the patent office. Benny the Cab anticipates every technology described in the article.

As if my commute couldn't get worse...

[ibullard]

...now I have to deal with being surrounded by crying cars on the way to work.

Screw that.

Incredible!

[Pendersempai]

Hehehehe... Japan is so funny. Anthropomorphic cars. Hehehe... Can we order them with Garfield stripes?

Re:Doesn't this increase the danger?

[lukewarmfusion]

Only if you take a picture of it with your camera phone.

This is gonna look hilarious

[OOO0000OO0O0]

You know those Chevron cars? Those toy and clay model ones that they use in the commercials and you can buy at gas stations? Well, that's what I think is going to happen. I am going to be laughing my ass off and on during my entire commute if this thing was introduced heavily into the market. As such, it is important to provide safety controls for the drivers and passengers laughing their heads off and not concentrating on the road.

I propose that along with the car that has the expressions, when they get introduced into the general car population deep enough, that each be provided with a driver laughing restraint system, such as a swift kick in the balls by actuating the gas pedal or something.

In other news, a car gets indicted for sexual harrassment.

So it's on the front, right?

[HaloZero]

That's great, really, but what I'd rather like/need is a way to communicate with those people behind me, who like to tailgate.

Something like, 'You do not have appropriate stopping distance. Back off, or I'll test my theory by way of brakes.'

Re:Call them automoticons

[zantispam]

re: automoticons

Didn't the Autobots beat them up?

bAH!

[Piranhaa]

I can see it now... "Driver slipped off icy road when tears (from car) landed on ice"

Why don't they make them really representative

[Loco3KGT]

And make their larger SUVs look like male genitalia?

Or is Chevy already trying to do that with the Corvette?

Re:For those who don't know...

[jpetts]

The real "love bug" [nih.gov] beginning with those letters...

Re:What I want to know

[Anonymous Coward]

Screw that.

I want rocket launchers and flame throwers.

Let's have some real retribution for those who piss me off, none of this namby pamby crying shit.

And don't dare mod this comment as "funny".

Re:So it's on the front, right?

[Jim_Hawkins]

No. Do not test your theory by way of brakes. Even if they hit you, you still have to go through the hassle of exchanging information, talking with insurance, etc. That's annoying.

Do what I do.

Keep a realistic looking stuffed toy dog (even a cat does the trick) in your car -- it doesn't need to be big or anything -- just realistic looking. Then, when someone is tailgating you, calmly roll down your window and release Fido (make sure your hand doesn't stick out too far -- ruins the realism).

Trust me...I almost died laughing when I tried it the first time. The guy slammed on his brakes and swerved to avoid hitting my "dog." And, well, let's just say he kept a healthy distance after that.

That was really from the Onion, right?!

[Anita Coney]

Right?!

Re:What I want to know

[shufler]

The inventors say that these features on cars will make driving more entertaining.

As long as you're being entertained watching the crying car behing you, as you rear-end the angry car in front of you, what difference does it make?!

THEATER FOR THE ROAD.

"Pick up" Lines

[10101001011]

I can't wait for the possible dating situations...

Ford F-250 winks at the cute little Toyota Echo.

"Hey good lookin', what's a car like you doin' on a highway like this?"

Will that be premium or supreme?

Can I change your oil?

And my personal favorite:
Wanna flash me?

Thank you, I'll be here all night. Don't forget to tip your waitress and try the steak...

Great...

[sup191]

Now my wife AND my car can look pissed at me all the time.

The only thing I need to communicate to drivers...

[danish]

is the middle finger. As a New Jerseyian (born and raised), I have a sub-two second roll down window/extend arm/raise middle finger time. It's second nature in situations like "soccer mom in minivan on my right doesn't even look out her left window and tries to change lanes into my car." My response then was an instictive, sub-second horn/brake/swerve/flip-bird.

This system is sufficient for any and all inter-driver communication needs I could ever imagine.

Better yet...

[Cyno01]

Mount it backwards in the front... "TURN YOUR GODDAMN BLINKER OFF!!!"

lamenessfilter, dont use caps, blah blah blah

Don't laugh

[YrWrstNtmr]

I have a issue of Grassroots Motorsports, where they did an autocross competition between a 1965 Porsche 356, a 1967 Jag XKE convertible, and a stock 2003 Honda Odessy minivan.

The minivan, with stock tires, smoked the Jag, and tied the Porsche. With one level better tires, the minivan smoked the 356 as well. Smoked it badly

Prior art

[YrWrstNtmr]

My old 1974 Fiat X-1/9. Bump the headlight switch just right, and the left headlight pod would go op, down, and back up again. Winking, as it were.

Re:Closely related

[superflippy]

Because I'm going 80 in a 70 zone and I'm
a) too nice of a person to let you go 110 and get a ticket.
b) driving a car too tall to fit underneath the truck in the lane next to me.
c) pretending I'm in NASCAR by letting you draft 3 inches from my bumper.
d) secretly amused by your obvious frustration.

The adverts (or parodys) are gonna be great..

[t_allardyce]

As a car is stuck at the lights the eyes will slowly follow some girl crossing the road, and then the hood will pop open..

YOU'RE THAT GUY!!!

[choovanski]

Pay attention to the chick in the silver Civic tomorrow, she always flips you off as she passes and you NEVER give her the satisfaction of looking!

Re:What I want to know

[DoctorHibbert]

"Communication of intent between drivers is critical..."

Obviously you are new to driving.

If the other driver knows my intent, then I've lost the element of surprise.

You're kidding...

[LordEq]

Seriously. In Colorado (at least in the Denver area) *277 would get you a direct connection to the reckless driving office of the state highway patrol.

You mean to tell me that, in Colorado, you can actually dial *ASS to report idiot drivers? That's awesome!

When will the rest of the states get their acts together?

Re:The future is here!

[Anonymous Coward]

I want a flying car with laser cannons! And missles that come out of the tail pipe! With a racing stripe!

With blackjack... and hookers... in fact forget the car.