DHS Says Cellular Outage Reporting is Terrorist Blueprint 421
Tuxedo Jack writes "U.S. landline telephone companies have to file public reports when their networks have major outages, so you would think the same would hold true for cellular providers and ISPs, right? Not if the Department of Homeland Security gets its way. CNN/AP reports that the DHS wants to make cellphone outage reports secret, claiming that they could be used as 'blueprints for terrorists.' I don't know about you, but I'd kinda like to see public disclosure on what happened if my cellphone/Internet access is down for an extended period."
Well, obviously... (Score:4, Funny)
Republican Paradox? (Score:1, Funny)
Yet anyone who bitches about taking it up the ass is a terrorist!
Did all the real Americans already recieve their Patriot packet containing one large cork, and one small tube of booty-bond? I haven't got mine, and I'm worried I might be on list somewhere because I once read an issue of The New Yorker in a doctors office....
It's true that... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wow (Score:5, Funny)
Rush hour is also an unacceptable risk. If terrorists attack during this time it could be disasterous. Consequently, as of next month all work times will be randomly generated. You will be informed when you are due to start working 15 minutes before the start of your shift via the newly secured cellular phone network. Anyone travelling on the roads without prior authorisation via cellular phone will be assumed to be a terrorist attempting to cripple our vital transportation infrastructure.
yes, (Score:2, Funny)
Therefore, I demand that all architectural project blueprints be destroyed immediately!
Also, this means that UML is a terrorist threat.
Heh (Score:5, Funny)
This is Slashdot. Welcome. We rarely leave our parents' basement. So, yes, I am afraid to leave my house.
Re:Wow (Score:3, Funny)
Absolutely. I also do not breathe because I am afraid free radicals will kill me.
in related news (Score:3, Funny)
Street maps will be banned, and to render older street maps obsolete (and therefore ineffective), existing street names will be randomly shuffled around.
Re:Claiming "terror" to justify other things... (Score:2, Funny)
Now that I think about it, this could explain a lot. I guess there is permanent terrorist activity around my house, my signal is always bad. I'll be watching my neighbors a bit more closely now.
Re:Claiming "terror" to justify other things... (Score:4, Funny)
Thanks, now I have to change my root password, you incestuous clod!
Re:I'm tired of losing rights.... (Score:3, Funny)
"Uniting and Strengthening America by Providing Appropriate Tools Required to Intercept and Obstruct Terrorism" = USA PATRIOT.
Re:Claiming "terror" to justify other things... (Score:1, Funny)
Terror Whoring?
Re:We've gone way beyond 'ridiculous' now. (Score:3, Funny)
'Nuff said.