Microsoft Patents The Body Bus

Mz6 writes "Microsoft has been awarded a patent for using human skin as a power conduit and data bus. Patent No. 6,754,472, which was published Tuesday, describes a method for transmitting power and data to devices worn on the body and for communication of data between those devices. In its filing, Microsoft cites the proliferation of wearable electronic devices, such as wristwatches, pagers, PDAs (worn on people's belts) and small displays that can now be mounted on headgear. "As a result of carrying multiple portable electronic devices, there is often a significant amount of redundancy in terms of input/output devices included in the portable devices used by a single person," says the filing. "For example, a watch, pager, PDA and radio may all include a speaker." To reduce the redundancy of input/output devices, Microsoft's patent proposes a personal area network that allows a single data input or output device to be used by multiple portable devices." (What about DoCoMo's research in this area?)

And in other news....

[ShepyNCL]

..... Micrsoft to sue all future survivors of lightning strikes.

I'll try extra hard not to get electrocuted now...

[JohnTheFisherman]

I'm an EE, and I don't want my wife to inherit a lawsuit for patent infringement. ;)

the "Gates of Borg" picture

[saforrest]

Somehow, the topic icon of Bill as a Borg seems more appropriate than ever.

Obligatory

[chrispl]

Great now I can BSOD my brain!

What are you doing there with all these women?

[Anonymous Coward]

A beowulf.

No, really!

In other news, riaa speaks out

[MDFedderly]

When any of your portable devices detect that the DRM has been violated for their IP, they would like the wearer of the device to recieve a powerful electric shock, capable of causing paralysis.

And in other news...

[mikael]

...Microsoft have announced they are patenting the use of the human body as a energy source for computers.

Borg Love

[mfh]

The Microsoft Slashdot icon has never been more accurate that it is with this article. Where are they getting the human skin to test this on? Interns? Seriously, though... just stick your finger into these electrodes, please.

Now that we can all be Borg, so I just want to know how long before we have Borg incubation chambers? Anyone with kids will back me on this... we need them. I would think the skin bus might cause cancer, wouldn't you? No FUD about it... this could be some scary shit when you consider Microsoft's security record, as well.

If it rains...

[dickeya]

stay home. And don't ever move to Seattle.

Upon further research

[darth_MALL]

They are also patenting the human built-in telescopic antenna array. Unfortunately, it will only be available to approximately 50% of the population.

Let's see...

[The Ape With No Name]

When I was 5 I discovered electricity for myself by sticking a fork in an outlet. Thereby proving Benjamin Franklin right and developing prior art to use against Microsoft. Ah, the follies of youth.

Microsoft calls this tech...

[Anonymous Coward]

...ActiveHerpes.

I prefer to pick up my own viruses and worms, thank you. I don't need MS "delivering" them to my skin.

Microsoft sponsered underwear?

[Roskolnikov]

Body bus enabled Active X pronographic vibromatic undergarments will bring new and pleasurable levels to all your
pron needs.

Can't wait until the first bus fault.

How about linking multiple body buses in a free for all?

Re:Handshaking

[WormholeFiend]

And bring new meaning to the words "male and female connectors".

Oh great

[foidulus]

I beta tested the stuff, and now my butt won't stop rebooting...

We are the Borg

[shachart]

Resistence is futile... errr... patented.

Exchange viruses by touch alone!

[Elphin]

Just wait until the first virus is written for such a system which can be spread by touch alone!

"Damn, I've got the Blue Arm of Death! Could someone press my reset switch for me"

Re:Oh great

[Anonymous Coward]

Just clean up the mess after unexpected core dumps.

Re:And in other news...

[nkh]

Prior art: Larry and Andy Wachowski for The Matrix!

Re:Borg Love

[dlmarti]

So what happens when my wife and I have sex.
Do the two networks connect?
Is my watch going to get a virus from her cellphone earings???

I have now officially coined the phrase "Sexually Transmitted Computer Virus" or STCV's.

I would love to see the sylibus for the sex-ed classes in 2010.

Re:What are you doing there with all these women?

[kpansky]

What are you doing there with those hands?

Imagining a beowulf cluster.

Re:Oh great

[Anonymous Coward]

I hope your ass is set on mini crash dump or you're going to be sore as hell tommorrow.

Physiological-Sexual Implications of this tech

[MacGoldstein]

I stumbled across this link, and although it strictly deals with bandwidth (not also with power, as in the Microsoft technology), it must be posted.

Because, although many of us have suspected it before, it is now pretty much obvious that sooner or later, penises will have higher bandwidths than cable modems. [everything2.com]

Brings a whole new meaning to the networking term "trunk".

I can see it now:

Defendant: No, no, no your honor, you've got it all wrong! Her battery died and I was just jumpstarting her devices!
Judge: Couldn't you have just shaken her hand?
Defendant: I thought if we got our juices flowing, maybe the conductivity would be greater?

...*ducks*

why not?

[twitter]

That's a natural, given how much you have to run around to keep the average M$ powered computer going. Might as well stick the operator in a squirrel cage.

Re:Borg Love

[NecroPuppy]

Where are they getting the human skin to test this on? Interns?

Sure.

Cause you don't build social attachement to MS Interns like you do to rats...

the other 50%..

[Hooya]

well, with the download well present in the other 50% of the population, data mining just became a helluva lot more fun!

Wrong icon

[essreenim]

If ever there was justifiable reason to use the Borg icon instead of patent pending, I think this was it ...

: )

Violating this patent...

[Vaginal Discharge]

... will cost you an arm and a leg.

Re:Microsoft sponsered underwear?

[Anonymous Coward]

How about linking multiple body buses in a free for all?

That requires additional licensing.

Re:And in other news...

[thedillybar]

>...Microsoft have announced they are patenting the use of the human body as a energy source for computers.

Now you don't have to worry about the batteries running out before you fall asleep. Not to mention your diet, those Centrino chips burn more calories than you might think. Soon Microsoft will begin marketing chips alongside Intel...only Microsoft's will be loaded with calories and nutrients.

Re:And in other news...

[jb.hl.com]

Microsoft Matrix: Where Do You Want Your Probe Today?

Re:IBM did this years ago.

[Mz6]

"Looks and sounds a lot like what MSFT just patented."

Nah... It couldn't be. The USPTO wouldn't make a mistake like that. I mean they research every patent that they approve.

Re:Upon further research

[Anonymous Coward]

One long band and two dome antennae.

Re:What are you doing there with all these women?

[Anonymous Coward]

What are you doing there with all these women?
A beowulf.

The only documented occasion on which Beowulf made physical contact with a woman is his fight with Grendel's mother, which he would have lost without divine intervention. Definitely a proto-nerd.

Fuse?

[nightsweat]

So where exactly does the fuse go?

Oh. Ew.

Re:Oh great

[Anonymous Coward]

You have to make sure that you close any open ports.

I can see it now...

[rnilz]

Clippy pops up: I see you are crossing the road? Would you like to: Go to starbucks? Go to McDonalds? Walk in front of a bus?

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:And in other news...

[colinleroy]

Oh, *laughs*, thanks, I didn't got it 'till you explained!

PRIOR ART

[the MaD HuNGaRIaN]

My brain is prior art.
It gets it's energy from my body, and uses it as a data bus to send messages to my various other parts.

Bus speed increase....

[DJBurgie]

When you get struck by lightning, that may be an increase in mega hurtz.

Once that happens, you will be sued for changing their proprietary technology, violation of the DMCA.

*sigh*

A message from Microsoft

[daishin]

I have been taken oveExcuse me and allow me to introduce myself, I am a heeelp...linux user, and I would like to announce that Microsoft products are far superior.

Re:This might be valid

[tchuladdiass]

What about the times I used to hold a coat hanger in one hand, and grab the TV antenna with the other, in order to get a good signal? My body was used to carry data then (although it was analog).

Re:And in other news....

[Anonymous Coward]

They are all electrical, right?
No.

They all pass data, right?
No.

They have input/output devices, right?
No.


Resistance is futile.

You will all be assimilated!!!

I wonder how much the MS tax

[SpaghettiPattern]

...will be on cardiograms.

Will we need to install electric shields around the heart region if we refuse to pay MS tax?

Re:Borg Love

[RevDobbs]

So what happens when my wife and I have sex.
Do the two networks connect?

I think the more important question is, "what happens when my girlfriends wants to know what I'm doing with all of these extra 'Client Access Licences'."

But sweetie, they just came as part of a bundle... I hardly ever use more than two at once...

Re:And in other news....

[baxissimo]

Resistance isn't futile. It's V/I.

Re:Awesome

[Anonymous Coward]

Furthermore, this could open up the prospect of "implants" to help humans with different things. If Microsoft can really get data and power running through the human body, it could really usher in a new age of computing.

I can see the Slashdot comments already: "MSDN has had a patch available for that Parkinson's bug six months ago! If you don't stay current, it's your own damn fault! Patch early, patch often, Twitch Boy."

No thanks. I'll keep suffering along with a speaker in my PDA and one in my phone.

You WILL be assimilated, resistance is futile

[Teahouse]

Isn't there SCADS of prior art on this topic How the hell does M$ think they are going to repatent Blue Tooth by simply stating all the devides are attached to a human body?

Of course, if M$ is really smart, they will patent applying mild electric shock to the human skin and GRAFTING these devices to the skin (using the skin as a comm-conduit of course) THEN they might actually have something....oh wait, prior art again....see The Borg legal departmemnt.

"We are Borg Legal, you will be litigated, resistance is futile, pleabargain is your only option" Come to think of it, isn't that how M$'s legal team works today?

Re:And in other news....

[jadenyk]

Microsoft redefines so much technology here... Think about it...

• Security Hole
• Emptying the recycle bin
• Packet Sniffer

Man, I could go on forever..

Re:And in other news....

[MillionthMonkey]

Meanwhile, Ray Bradbury is demanding an apology from Microsoft for lifting the title from his classic work I Sing the Body Electric.

Bill Gate Borg Icon???

[rwrife]

This article clearly calls for the Bill Gates Borg icon instead of the patent pending one.

How easy isn't this idea

[fluor2]

Well I've thought of this for years, and also I've had some ideas including inserting small heat-devices near veins (inside body) to make the blood transport heat through the body.

AND I've talked to others that have somewhat thought of similar ideas. I think this patent is just another nail in the coffin for the U.S. Patents.

Excuse me for being arrogant, but you Americans should really start looking into what's happening.

BSOD takes on a new meaning

[neverpsyked]

"Well, detective, the coroner's report cited the cause of death as a Blue Skin Of Death."
There's gonna be some great Law and Order episodes from this one.

Would anybody really want this?

[spikev]

There are two reasons I can think of that this sort of system wouldn't be ideal: 1) I don't want to let MS run electricity through my body and 2) it would be far easier to sync all my devices with a wireless network, even if I had to do something to activate the syncing. Besides, if this patent is in the clear, it will likely be expired before anything significant has been done with it.

Re:And in other news....

[twofidyKidd]

Let's leave "floppy drive" out of this one.

In religious news...

[DynaSoar]

Microsoft is being sued by God, holder of patent #0 ("Universe, including all living and non-living things, culminating in independently operating human beings") for infringement. God claims that "at minimum, humans already conduct electrical signals via their skin, as can be evidenced by measures of electrodermal activity". God's reference to the use of scientific data represents a departure from His traditional stance. His justification for this was given as "Hey, I created everything, so I created science, right? Besides, this Gates guy is really starting to piss Me off."