Amazon Sued for Patent Infringement

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Amazon Sued for Patent Infringement 304

Posted by CowboyNeal on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:08AM from the but-not-the-one-click dept.

theodp writes "Amazon's 10-K SEC filing discloses that the e-tailer has been sued for infringing on Soverain Software patents for Network Sales Systems (5,715,314 & 5,909,492) and Internet Server Access Control and Monitoring Systems (5,708,780), aka the Open Market patents, aka the Divine cashectomy patents, which Soverain obtained in the wake of Divine's bankruptcy sale."

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Amazon Sued for Patent Infringement

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I sue George Bush for stupidity infringment!! (Score:-1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:09AM (#8405423)

n/t

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Luckily... (Score:5, Funny)

by Doktor Memory ( 237313 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:09AM (#8405425) Journal

...Amazon has aleady patented the use of Irony...on the internet!

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Re:I sue George Bush for stupidity infringment!! (Score:2, Funny)

by good(k)night ( 754537 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:11AM (#8405434) Homepage

I sue firefox for using fire...
so they will have to change the name again.

haha! the world is mine!

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I feel sorry for them... (Score:4, Funny)

by opusman ( 33143 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:11AM (#8405441) Homepage

Filing patent infringement lawsuits is hard work.

Someone needs to come up with a "One Click(tm) Patent Infringement Lawsuit" system. And then patent it...

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Thank God for all these lawsuits... (Score:5, Funny)

by Infonaut ( 96956 ) writes: <infonaut@gmail.com> on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:12AM (#8405444) Homepage Journal

Without 'em, after the SCO mess gets cleared up, we'd have no reason to visit Groklaw!

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Re:Luckily... (Score:5, Funny)

by Xeth ( 614132 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:13AM (#8405451) Journal

And they'll be serving them up with their patented One-Click Countersuit tool.

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Sue everyone? (Score:0, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:13AM (#8405452)

I'm gonna sue McDonalds for making me fat...wait already happened...

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Re:I feel sorry for them... (Score:4, Funny)

by mat catastrophe ( 105256 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:14AM (#8405461) Homepage

Fuck, bro. All you need to do is send this post to the patent office. Apparently, they'll stamp damn near anything.

And remember, I told you this, so cut me in on the cash, alright?

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Re:Not Another One! (Score:2, Funny)

by Wiser87 ( 742455 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:15AM (#8405468) Homepage

Hmm... I wonder if anyone's patented the art of Slshdotting a website? ;)

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My head's exploding (Score:3, Funny)

by MacGabhain ( 198888 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:18AM (#8405482)

I'm rooting FOR Amazon in a patent case? Ow ow ow ow ow. It hurts!

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Re:Not Another One! (Score:5, Funny)

by smr2x ( 266420 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:18AM (#8405486) Homepage

Who would dare take on Slashdot in a lawsuit?! Can you imagine how many geeks would find you, surround your building, and make you suffer!?

Besides the enormous Slashdotting you would receive in return...

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is it really this easy? (Score:3, Funny)

by Sean Clifford ( 322444 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:18AM (#8405491) Journal

IANAL, but is it really this easy?
[click to type company name] hereby sues [click to type deep pockets] for patent infringement for [click to enter $amount].
CTRL P
Choose Fax Printer.
[click to choose Clerk of Court]
Roll three dice. If you roll a 4 or less, even the most ridiculous case wins.

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That's it... (Score:0, Funny)

by Kid Zero ( 4866 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:20AM (#8405503) Homepage Journal

I'm patenting the internet. Pay up, Suckers!

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Re:The Real Reason for Patents (Score:0, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:21AM (#8405513)

fine i patent free speech.

is that okay with you?

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Re:Sue everyone? (Score:0, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:28AM (#8405541)

I'm gonna sue Einstein for time dilation problems.

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Re:is it really this easy? (Score:1, Funny)

by Galuvian ( 755742 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:31AM (#8405555)

Now you just need to write it up as a business process and patent it!

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Re:The Real Reason for Patents (Score:5, Funny)

by protohiro1 ( 590732 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:31AM (#8405561) Homepage Journal

"but soon in the future, laws will be passed, and that problem will be gone"

Fantastic! And we can celibrate this new era of equality in our flying cars.

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Re:Not Another One! (Score:0, Funny)

by FluxCapacitator ( 664284 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:35AM (#8405579)

The stench and glare from the pale, bespectacled, unwashed slashdot masses is definetely something to fear!

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government ageny & sane people (Score:4, Funny)

by Sean Clifford ( 322444 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:47AM (#8405651) Journal

Can somebody tell me which government agency is actually run by sane, competent people?
Pffft! That's easy!
The Department of Education.
Oh, wait. [cnn.com]
Nevermind.

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Too many lawyers (Score:4, Funny)

by superpulpsicle ( 533373 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:48AM (#8405657)

Is it me or is the demand for lawyer increasing forever. Everyone sues every company, and vice versa.

At this rate, some day someone will make up some legit reason to sue the entire Internet altogether.

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Re:That's it... (Score:0, Funny)

by GoMMiX ( 748510 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:54AM (#8405688)

Ummm, doesn't Al Gore already own that patent?

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Re:I sue George Bush for stupidity infringment!! (Score:5, Funny)

by dukeisgod ( 739214 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @01:55AM (#8405693)

I know I shouldn't be feeding the troll, but does that mean you're saying that you were stupid first?

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Could be worse. (Score:3, Funny)

by bgeer ( 543504 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:00AM (#8405721)

It could have sample screenshots ripped off of a competing product [uspto.gov] filed in the patent application.

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Re:Not Another One! (Score:0, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:13AM (#8405767)

SCO more or less did take on Slashdot in a lawsuit.

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Has anyone patented suing as a business model? (Score:4, Funny)

by aauu ( 46157 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:28AM (#8405833) Homepage

Replace all your hordes of workers with a handful of lawyers. Pay them % of the profits. Sue anyone listed in the phone book. (pat pend.)

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I think I've solved the problem. (Score:5, Funny)

by teamhasnoi ( 554944 ) writes: <teamhasnoi AT yahoo DOT com> on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:38AM (#8405868) Journal

I'm going to patent Apathy! That way, when people complain about how nothing is being done, I can sue them for not doing anything themselves, like writing their congresswhores, or donating money to the EFF, or boycotting companies that use patent litigation as a business model.

Now if I could only...get out of this....chair......ah, fuckit.

Wow! I'm making money already!

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Re:Luckily... (Score:5, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:44AM (#8405886)

I guess if you live by the patent, you die by the patent...

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Re:Come On (Score:2, Funny)

by Capsaicin ( 412918 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @02:56AM (#8405936)

this really won't be good for anyone if it actually works

It would be pretty good for Open Market's shareholders.

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I've got an invention... (Score:1, Funny)

by Myco ( 473173 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @04:46AM (#8406305) Homepage

The one click lawsuit.

I've got a good feeling about this one.

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Re:Not Another One! (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @05:19AM (#8406382)

Erm.. yes, it would be "like being nibbled to death by ducks" :P

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Re:Not Another One! (Score:3, Funny)

by Hektor_Troy ( 262592 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @05:29AM (#8406410)

Besides the enormous Slashdotting you would receive in return...
I thought you said in your rectum ...

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Hell hath no fury.... (Score:1, Funny)

by openmtl ( 586918 ) writes: <polarbear&btinternet,com> on Friday February 27, 2004 @05:36AM (#8406423) Journal

Both the Soverain President and the VP are women. The President was also an attorney.
Boy are Amazon in for a long fight !.
Hides as wife walks into room...

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Amazon Sued for Patent Infringement? How Sad... (Score:0, Funny)

by Pan T. Hose ( 707794 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @06:14AM (#8406511) Homepage Journal

I would like to help them so much... I know! I will offer Amazon my legal advice, free of charge, because I think they are great, and I am such a nice guy, despite being a lawyer. Let me only click... Oh, no! I would have to commit a crime of one-clicking patent infringement to even RTFA! But I want to help them! Must... resist... Thou Shall Not Infringe... Thou Shall Not Steal Innovative Clicking Ideas... But... I ... must... help... Only... clicking... would... help... Must... not... click... Help... Click... No... Cannot... Oh dear God, my brain!

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Business Plan (Score:2, Funny)

by Stiletto ( 12066 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @08:03AM (#8406747)

Step 1: Buy the "IP" of a bankrupt company
Step 2: Find someone infringing and sue
Step 3: Profit!!!

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Re:Luckily... (Score:3, Funny)

by TedCheshireAcad ( 311748 ) writes: <ted AT fc DOT rit DOT edu> on Friday February 27, 2004 @08:05AM (#8406751) Homepage

Yeah well I patented the patent. My lawyer's gonna be a busy guy.

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Re:Not Another One! (Score:3, Funny)

by falsified ( 638041 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @10:04AM (#8407277)

I'm sitting here trying to imagine what a physical slashdotting would be like. I imagine we'd stand outside the building for a few minutes and then a few of us would start running into the building with arms pointed straight at the ground. Then several more would start going, yelling "frosty borscht" or whatever they're saying instead of "first post" these days. Then, everyone else would charge full-speed with maniacal grins, with a collective scream of incredibly lame "server's down" jokes. A force to be reckoned with, for sure.

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Re:Not Another One! (Score:3, Funny)

by JET 666 ( 28153 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @10:23AM (#8407430)

don't forget the looting. Oh i mean to setup a mirror, yeah thats it.

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Re:Not Another One! (Score:5, Funny)

by Perl-Pusher ( 555592 ) writes: on Friday February 27, 2004 @11:16AM (#8407991)

I imagine some people carrying signs with the goatse.cx picture. Others would argue for software patents just to troll and get others to argue against. Some jerk would stand there and wonder Imagine a beowulf cluster of ......

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There may be more comments in this discussion. Without JavaScript enabled, you might want to turn on Classic Discussion System in your preferences instead.

I sue George Bush for stupidity infringment!! (Score:-1, Funny)

Luckily... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:I sue George Bush for stupidity infringment!! (Score:2, Funny)

I feel sorry for them... (Score:4, Funny)

Thank God for all these lawsuits... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Luckily... (Score:5, Funny)

Sue everyone? (Score:0, Funny)

Re:I feel sorry for them... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Not Another One! (Score:2, Funny)

My head's exploding (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Not Another One! (Score:5, Funny)

is it really this easy? (Score:3, Funny)

That's it... (Score:0, Funny)

Re:The Real Reason for Patents (Score:0, Funny)

Re:Sue everyone? (Score:0, Funny)

Re:is it really this easy? (Score:1, Funny)

Re:The Real Reason for Patents (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Not Another One! (Score:0, Funny)

government ageny & sane people (Score:4, Funny)

Too many lawyers (Score:4, Funny)

Re:That's it... (Score:0, Funny)

Re:I sue George Bush for stupidity infringment!! (Score:5, Funny)

Could be worse. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Not Another One! (Score:0, Funny)

Has anyone patented suing as a business model? (Score:4, Funny)

I think I've solved the problem. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Luckily... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Come On (Score:2, Funny)

I've got an invention... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Not Another One! (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Not Another One! (Score:3, Funny)

Hell hath no fury.... (Score:1, Funny)

Amazon Sued for Patent Infringement? How Sad... (Score:0, Funny)

Business Plan (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Luckily... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Not Another One! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Not Another One! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Not Another One! (Score:5, Funny)

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