BudNet Tracks Your Suds 712
An anonymous reader writes "CNN is carrying a story about Budweiser's national internal sales tracking network called BudNET. It allows Anheuser-Busch to instantly track sales across the country, and 'If Anheuser-Busch loses shelf space in a store in Clarksville, Tennessee, they know it right away.' It brings up some interesting privacy issues, because according to the article 'The last time you bought a six-pack of Bud Light at the Piggly Wiggly, Anheuser servers most likely recorded what you paid, when that beer was brewed, whether you purchased it warm or chilled, and whether you could have gotten a better deal down the street.' Frankly, I don't want Budweiser knowing when I choose to buy their beer versus another brands."
Quite frankly... (Score:4, Funny)
I'd be more concerned . . . (Score:4, Funny)
Piggly-Wiggly? (Score:4, Funny)
so they can crowd out everyone else of course (Score:3, Funny)
The world need more of this fun good stuff (Score:1, Funny)
Since when... (Score:5, Funny)
RIIGHT (Score:1, Funny)
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHT
Budweiser sells beer? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Easy solution! (Score:3, Funny)
But shop at Amazon online.
They're perfectly welcome to know... (Score:4, Funny)
In Soviate USSR (Score:5, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Since when... (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, you are asking, since when Anheuser-Busch sold beer? I really don't know.
Re:Quite frankly... (Score:5, Funny)
Bud's gift to Michael (Score:3, Funny)
We at Budweiser would like to apologize for any anxiety you may have felt from the recent CNN article. As a token of our esteem, please accept the enclosed Budweiser hat.
Sincerely,
BudMan
BM/css
encl:
Tinfoil Hat, mk II, RFID
Who you calling paranoid?! (Score:5, Funny)
But drinking Bud always makes me that way.
Cheers! (Score:2, Funny)
Wow you're right! (Score:5, Funny)
Why just the other day my chauffer took a wrong turn off of the freeway and pulled me past this run down little liquor store where this shabby looking man (who by the way was driving a Pontiac! A PONTIAC!!!) who hadn't shaved for a couple of days was walking out with a bottle of Johnny Walker Red. RED LABEL?! I exclaimed, exhaling a puff of cigar smoke and tipping my top hat back in a bemused manner. WHO ARE THESE CRETINS? I practically had my driver phone the police right then and there.
Insert (Score:5, Funny)
Re:break out the tin foil hats. (Score:2, Funny)
They have no way until the intelligent toilets [com.com] come online.
You know where beer was invented, right? (Score:5, Funny)
Obviously, Beer (which the membership of al Qaeda are commanded by God not to drink) is in league with al Qaeda, just like the former secularist government of Iraq (which the membership of al Qaeda was commanded by God to overthrow.) Whatever the article-author may think - it is clear that cool, refreshing beer, or even hobo urine like Budweiser, is more of a threat to our freedoms than the brave members of our law enforcement community.
Therefore, DARPA has asked Anheuser-Busch to help them keep track of the treasonous fluid. Don't get me started on those frenchies and their wine.
Bud? (Score:4, Funny)
Funny, I think I always choose to buy other brands. But that's just me. Having taste buds.
Re:Quite frankly... (Score:2, Funny)
What's scary here is that in rural arizona, budweiser is pretty much the only game in town. I think you can get rolling rock (yuppie budwiesr) and that's about the it of it.
I suspect there's a lot more people who drink beer as opposed to people who enjoy beer (for its' own sake, instead of just for shitfaced sakes). That probably explains the sales of budweiser.
I went to Budweiser Beer School (Score:5, Funny)
LK
Re:I'd be more concerned . . . (Score:5, Funny)
"pLac e $500 IN A BrO W n PapEr b A g AnD l eAV e IT i t BeHinD tHE du mPsTe r O R w E tEl L yOur f r IeN D s y O U DRiNK bUD"
Re:Easy solution! (Score:2, Funny)
ITS A FRIGGIN MY RIGHTS ONLINE THING!!!
Damn government people tracking inventory and sales!
Re:break out the tin foil hats. (Score:5, Funny)
Ah, but just wait 'till they brew RFID tags directly into the beer! Then they'll not only connect you with the beer, but with every beer you've ever consumed! And they'll know about everything else you do, buy, consume, etc. because those RFID tags will bury their way into your stomach lining and scream "LOOK AT ME, I AM A NUMBER!" forevermore.
(It's funny. Laugh. Or be paranoid and don't
Sorry, someone had to say it (Score:2, Funny)
The CEO of Anheuser-Busch sat down and said to the bartender "I'll have a tall King of Beers!" and the bartender poured him a Budweiser.
The CEO of Miller said "It's Miller time!" and the bartender handed him a frosty Miller High Life.
The CEO of Guiness sat down and said I'll take a water, please.
The other two looked at him quisically, and the CEO of Guiness responded to their looks: "If you boys ain't drinking, neither am I!"
Sample Budweiser Tracking Log (Score:5, Funny)
[01-03-04 10:26:54] Beer Location: On the store loading dock.
[01-03-04 11:54:12] Beer Location: In the store refrigerator case.
[01-03-04 19:22:57] Beer Location: In customer's hand.
[01-03-04 19:24:03] Beer Location: On the store checkout counter.
[01-03-04 19:31:44] Beer Location: Outside the store.
[01-03-04 19:32:10] Container Event: Can opened.
[01-03-04 19:32:12] Beer Location: Inside customers mouth.
[01-03-04 19:32:12] Beer Location: Outside customers mouth.
[01-03-04 19:32:13] Beer Location: On the ground.
[01-03-04 19:32:17] Beer Location: In the gutter.
[01-03-04 19:32:23] Container Event: Can dropped.
But...but... (Score:5, Funny)
But to make the hat, I have to buy the cans! Classic chicken/egg problem. Arrgg!
Re:They're perfectly welcome to know... (Score:0, Funny)
Because it's fucking close to water.
New concept (Score:3, Funny)
If you insist on being a covert budweiser drinker, i'd like to introduce the concept of "shoplifting". Walk around and get your ordinary stuff, and put the budweiser in your pocket. Then you pay for the non-budweiser stuff and just pretend you never took the thing. Simple! Just don't get caught or the men with the shiny badges will put you in a really small place with metal bars they call "Jail" or give you those notes that say you need to pay alot of money.
Re:Give me an Arrogant Bastard Ale any day.. (Score:1, Funny)
Why not nail some smoked bacon to your living room wall, it may provide another "funny conversation piece" for you to bludgeon your unwitting guests with when they come round to read your gas meter.
Re:i think this (Score:5, Funny)
In the future, once Coors and Michelobe and whoever have this technology, you'll see an endless nano-war in every cooler as the beers armies try to invade and repel each other.
I think my crack dealer is connected too... (Score:2, Funny)
Now I'm worried about my main pimp...don't tell me those bitches are carrying...
Tin Foil Hat Secured (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Wow you're right! (Score:4, Funny)
I drink beer and used to work at a beverage distributor and one of the jokes at the place was the "bud-fart" effect, so your analogy of it being crappy beer is more literal than you may realize.
Re:This is getting rediculous (Score:5, Funny)
The ridiculous thing is that slashdotters seem to think that their grocery purchases are worth noticing. Massive government databases on what beer you drink? Give me a break.
Re:Wow you're right! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Wow you're right! (Score:5, Funny)
This was a contest in my college bar. It was thought up by the bartenders to get rid of the 2 year old Pacific they had in their fridge. It was so crappy that they only bought two cases of it, and they still had about 40 by the time this started. Basically, we'd play pool, and the loser had to chug a bottle of this crap. I myself drank about a dozen of those things. I swear, it was like giving Old Jenny Rottencrotch a full tongue bath. They gave away the beer for free, since they'd make it back in the shots of SoCo I'd buy to get rid of the taste. The only upside was that my pool game improved dramatically...
Slug Bait (Score:3, Funny)
A public DARE!! (Score:5, Funny)
I paid approximatly $7.50.
My intent in purchasing the beer was, in addition to enjoying its smooth robust flavor, performing a demonstration to amazed friends on how to remove the magic "rocket widget" from an empty Guinness bottle (without breaking the bottle of course).
There, I said it. Now the entire world knows what beer I purchased, when, where, and why.
What is the WORST thing that can possibly happen to me by making this public?
Re:Just pay with cash (Score:4, Funny)
obligatory post (Score:2, Funny)
BRILLIANT!
Privacy? (Score:2, Funny)
The guys at the airport sticking their fingers up everyones asses pales in comparison to this outright violation of my civil liberties!! I think it's time for a revolution! Who's with me?
Hello?
Re:A public DARE!! (Score:4, Funny)
"This is your boss. According to your timesheet, you reported that you worked all day and night on Saturday. Yet here I find out that you were drinking on the job. Those rocket widgets track when you finish drinking the bottles too, you know, so don't try to say you drank them on Sunday; they also provide a saliva analysis indicating who drank them. You know we have a strict policy on being sober on the job. Don't bother to come in tommorrow, we will ship your personal items to you. Good luck finding another job, you fucking drunk!"
This reminds me of an old joke (Score:2, Funny)
Re:A public DARE!! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Quite frankly.. - Why so Paranoid?? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:not pliers (Score:2, Funny)
Re:A public DARE!! (Score:2, Funny)
Steps to remove rocket-widget:
What you will need:
(1) "Nitro" bottle of Guinness Draught. Not "Extra Stout".
(1) Pair of needle-nose pliers.
(1) Stomach full of food.
1) Empty bottle. Preferably by drinking contents.
2) Clean bottle of remaining contents.
3) Hold bottle by the bottom and shake widget so that it becomes stuck in the neck.
4) Reach in with pliers and pull out plastic widget.
Tada! Perform this repeatedly to collect widgets for no real reason.
There. Maybe you have a better trick, but this has always worked for me. With that, I prefer the non-nitro bottles, as they are less work to prepare for recycling. Stupid plastic wrap. Besides, they taste better and are 12oz, versus the nitros 11.2oz.
Whew, that was close. (Score:5, Funny)
Amen. But try telling that to the people who get pissed off when I wear my "NASCAR is stupid" T-shirt. After a couple of minutes of staring at it they figure out what it says, spit tobaccey on me, and tell their sister/wife to go git their shotgun out of the camper. Then they say "You think yur bettern me, just cause you have a shirt on." I try to explain that I just don't like NASCAR (when they tilt their head like a dog, I rephrase it as NAASCOR and it registers) and it doesn't reflect in any way on how I feel about him personally. Then they think I am some kind of faggot for having personal feelings towards him, and I have to quickly leave in my "furrin" car before the little lady gets back with the shotgun.
Re:A public DARE!! (Score:3, Funny)
Then please submit the sum total of all grocery purchases as well as date and time that they
were made and the amount of money paid for them along with your police record, personal
credit history, address and photo ID.
Thanks!
Re:Quite frankly... (Score:4, Funny)
Don't worry (Score:3, Funny)
Re:A public DARE!! (Score:4, Funny)