Today Is SCO's Deadline To Sue Linux User

herrvinny writes "As proprietor of SCO Countdown, I just wanted to remind people that today is the deadline for SCO to sue a Linux user. As everyone should know, SCO, 3 months ago, promised to sue a Linux user within three months. Well, that day has come. Who is SCO going to sue, if it is even going to sue?"

Sue ME!!!

[corebreech]

Oh please, please sue ME! I could use fifteen-minutes of fame! Not only that, I'm installing LFS [linuxfromscratch.org] on my Rev. A Bondi iMac [apple.com] even as I'm typing this post! I'm such an outlaw! Come and get me!!!

Whom indeed?

[ackthpt]

Probably someone big, someone rich, a victim of such magnitude the world can hardly not take notice, probably Munich [slashdot.org].

At least, if I were pretending not to be backed by Microsoft, that's what I'd do.

"Mein Gott! Herr McBride ist nicht gegetting keinen bier! Der kann amerikaner wasser beir getrinken und bei Holle gehen! Uf dienen lederhosen, Herr McBride!"

Uh oh!

[trp642]

It could be me! Let me go check my mailbox...

The solution to it all...

[LostCluster]

Somebody's gotta take Darl to Vegas sometime and sit him down at a high stakes table. If he was willing to bet on having a user lawsuit today, who knows if we can talk him into calling "hit" on a 20 in BlackJack...

re:Today Is SCO's Deadline To Sue Linux User

[cb8100]

Judging by all the flames the past SCO stories have generated, shouldn't this article itself be flagged as flamebait?

I've got the press release from SCO right here!

[ZiZ]

Taken straight from sco's website [sco.com]:

We can't find "www.sco.com"

You can try again by typing the URL in the address bar above.
Or, search the Web:

...Rest of press release snipped for brevity

Imagine if they gave a frivolous lawsuit

[AtariAmarok]

Imagine if they gave a frivolous lawsuit, and no-one came?

(apologies to whomever came up with the original Vietnam War-time adage)

Re:Sue ME!!!

[gagy]

Oh no you don't! I'm a much bigger outlaw than you. I can do all of the above while wearing a patch over my right eye and proclaiming something to the tune of "YARRRRRRRRRRRR, I'm not attractive".

Re:Whom indeed?

[kachuik]

The best quote so far:

Meanwhile, industry wags are saying that God invented SCO to give people a company to hate more than Microsoft.

Sue the pants off of my neighbour

[The Ancients]

Err, the female one who does Pilates at 7am every morning, that is...

Pretty Please?

Darl here...

[Mr. Darl McBride]

Chris and I have decided to sue each other. A pretty break even settlement, and we should have two victories under our collective belts.

I'm taking ownership of www.sco.com, Chris is taking ownership of www.caldera.com, and we're going after a billion dollars apiece.

I am seriously going to sue myself until I go blind. I get wood just thinking about it.

Re:The solution to it all...

[Anonymous Coward]

Somebody's gotta take Darl to Vegas sometime and sit him down at a high stakes table. If he was willing to bet on having a user lawsuit today, who knows if we can talk him into calling "hit" on a 20 in BlackJack...

It'll sort of be moot if Darl has an Ace up his sleeve.

Re:Clarity

[Lehk228]

I hope you have a good spam filter ;p

Re:It will be Google

[darnok]

I don't think it will be Google because they've got the resources to counter-sue.

I think it'll be some 13yo kid somewhere in the US; someone who definitely won't have the resources or sense of outrage to take on SCO legally, but who will generate public sympathy to the point where his "SCO tax" will be paid by someone else.

It'll get lots of news coverage, and it'll be a very "clean" operation in terms of scaring a few relevant people and not financially damaging the kid in question; he'll get paid by the news stations and magazines for his story and he'll do OK out of it.

It'll also happen in a blaze of publicity, as Darl has to push up that share price if he's gonna qualify for his bonus payment.

please sue google!

[QEDog]

Yes! Please! Sue Google! I want them to put back in SCO on top of the litigious bastard search!

Re:It will be Google but not for the reason you th

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

Actually, it's a no-brainer -- they will sue Google

They could just sue themselves. I mean, they were a friggin Linux shop called Caldera not so long ago, and one of the most prominent, if not *the* most prominent linux distro makers somes years back. If that's not called a heavy Linux user, I don't know what is.

Besides, if they sue themselves, they'll save on stamps to send themselves subpoenas, and they'll be able to use the same lawyers to sue and defend themselves.

Re:Sue ME!!!

[BlueTrin]

I can do all the above with my gang making the biggest Beowulf cluster of outlaws!

Sue us!

Not happening

[savagedome]

today is the deadline for SCO to sue a Linux user

I am sure its not gonna happen. As they say here "Don't worry too much about SCO suing anybody today 'coz its already tomorrow in Australia" :)

Re:Sue ME!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

Man I keep checking my mailbox every 10 min but nothing shows up. I just know its going to be me!

Re:It will be Google but not for the reason you th

[really?]

Even better, after they sue themselves and lose they have set legal precedent. :-)

Here is a copy of SCO homepage

[BlueTrin]

just in the case it gets /.-ed.

The page cannot be found
The page you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable.
...

Re:Whom indeed?

[hdparm]

God was unsuccessful although it was a good shot.

Re:Sue ME!!!

[Popageorgio]

I use Windows (network issues force me to) and fantasize about Linux. Can I get, like, subpoenaed?

Re:Clarity

[KYeti]

Hell they can sue me too!! Mandrake 9 modded with 2.6, and full of dirty dirty sco code. Infact, im going to email [e-mail] with this :

With regards to your threats of lawsuits towards certain users of the Linux kernel, I am contacting you to inform you of a breach of your intellectual property rights. I have been using Linux for a few years now, and am willing to repent for my sins.

I, unfortunately, am not willing to pay for a license. Oh dear. I understand, and sympathise totally if you are forced to follow up this transgression with a lawsuit. You may feel free to contact me with a summons through any of the means provided below.

My contact information is as follows.

Name :

Address :

Country :

Postcode :

Daytime telephone number :

Evening telephone number :

Email Address :

The big crunch

[BenSpinSpace]

SCO is going to sue a Linux user. SCO is going to sue a Linux user. SCO is going to sue a Linux user. SCO is going to sue a Linux user. SCO is going to sue a Linux user. SCO is going to sue a Linux user. SCO is going to sue a Linux user. SCO is going to sue a Linux user.


SCO doesn't sue a Linux user.

Try this:

Tomorrow, we log onto the Internet and witness a vicious battle going on. There's a flash video in which a streaming clip manifests Darl McBride in every home user's web browser. Why? It turns out that the hacker behind MyDoom is actually an evil corporation trying to destroy SCO, the promoter of Open Source software. Its first target was Goatse: by removing an object of internet culture that everyone has a love/hate relationship with, it destabalized the internet. SCO has been working around the clock to resolve the issue and restore the internet to its full power. SCO couldn't tell us its true intents only because that would ruin their plan. And thus we witness Darl McBride fighting against the MyDoom virus, incarnate, yet coded into a flash file.

Suddenly, when it looks like Darl McBride might lose the valiant fight, brilliant hackers intercept the sattelite connection going to SCO and insert special weapons for Darl McBride.

Whammo, Darl McBride wins the battle, and in a tremendous flash of colors, the creepy Peak Oil [lifeaftertheoilcrash.net] website literally explodes, covering Google [google.com] in a hidden cache of virtual oil, which can be printed out by any inkjet printer into real oil.

People even write offensive, politically volatile [friendopoly.com] websites solely for the purpose of getting people to donate money so they can buy Dance Dance Revolution.

Goatse.cx is restored, to the detriment of Internet users everywhere but to the spirit of the Internet altogether.

Darl McBride is hailed as a captain of the Internet, and he forms a team with Linus Torvalds, Bill Gates (who decides to make Windows open source) and Steve Jobs (who decides that maybe Mac programs, as good as they are, should have more than 2 options per program). They develop the ultimate flawless operating system, and Netscape, Opera, and IE combine all their best parts into a browser that has the ability to stretch one's computer screen to twice its physical dimensions while in use.

Re:+5 Rocking, Got A Story Accepted!

[pankajsethi]

You are already a Sladhdotter. You will be a Slashdotee once your website gets Slashdotted

Re:Sue ME!!!

[The Munger]

I'm picturing McBride's PC flashing up a little Outlook calender entry 'Today: Sue Linux user'. I guess we find out if he hits 'Dismiss' or 'Snooze'. :-)

i'm confused

[QEDog]

Now I have to pay for Linux? I better switch to the new free open source version of Windows Fast!!

Think if they sued AT&T

[k4_pacific]

I think SCO is trying to create a circular dependency with their lawsuits. SCO vs IBM cannot go ahead until SCO vs. Novell is resolved. RedHat vs. SCO is waiting on the outcome of SCO vs IBM. They need to sue someone who uses RedHat, so that case is blocked by the RedHat case, yet also blocks the Novell case. AT&T comes to mind. Suppose AT&T uses RedHat. They could sue AT&T over that. Such a case would then be dependent on the outcome of the RedHat case. Since AT&T originated the code in System V, SCO vs. Novell would likely depend on the outcome of the AT&T case.

So to recap:
- SCO vs. AT&T cannot continue until SCO proves its not baselessly slandering RedHat's product.

- SCO vs. RedHat cannot continue until SCO shows that IBM illegally copied code.

- SCO vs. IBM cannot continue until SCO shows that that they and not Novell in fact own the code.

- SCO vs. Novell cannot continue until SCO proves that AT&T is not allowed to violate what would be their own copyright if Linux in fact does contain System V code.

Thus it will deadlock forever, SCO will make a bunch of wild claims, and the stock price will skyrocket.

Of course, they won't gross dollar one.

Re:Uh oh!

[Amarok.Org]

[Ed McMahon] You may already be a defendant! [/Ed McMahon]

Re:Clarity

[Anonymous Coward]

Oh, in that case, you can contact me at one of the email addresses below:

[e-mail]
[e-mail]
[e-mail]
[e-mail] :-)
[e-mail]

I tried to be the one!

[Thomas A. Anderson]

I called SCO months ago and told them (truthfully) that I won and operate a 14 computer internet cafe all running linux. I asked them to send me a bill (which I would, of course, ignore).

But then I let slip I was going to forward it to the California State Attorney General and ask them to sue SCO for attempted fraud.

Guess that scared them - I never got a bill. :(

A poll

[SharpFang]

Whom is SCO about to sue?

* Google
* IBM
* German government
* Linus
* Microsoft
* Me
* I know but I won't tell
* CowboyNeal

Suggest your options

Darl playing poker...

[LostCluster]

We've gotta get Darl to sit down with all of SCO's money at a poker table... doesn't matter what cards he gets, he'll put all his money in on the first hand as a bluff...

Re:Whom indeed?

[sPaKr]

And before that it was AT&T. I mean they even had the deathstar as their logo, how could you not hate them. Dont forget they started all of this sue of unix, get ass haneded to stuff

TROLL PARENT DOWN!

[Anonymous Coward]

TROLL PARENT DOWN!

Re:AT&T Trips Up SCO

[Michael_Burton]

From the same Computerworld article [computerworld.com]:

AT&T said it wanted "to assure licensees that AT&T will claim no ownership in the software that they developed -- only the portion of the software developed by AT&T."

In other words, AT&T never intended for Unix licensees to give up ownership of code they added to their versions of Unix. That was never part of the deal.

And then Darl Vader sez: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it further.

Re:I've got the press release from SCO right here!

[prockcore]

We can't find "www.sco.com"

Your browser refers to itself as a collective "we"?

Aren't we a pompous browser.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:i'm confused

[raidient]

Windows Fast....Don't think I know that one.

I am shocked!

[El]

You mean (gasp)... it's actually possible that SCO executives lied about something? I am shocked! Shocked and appalled that something so unexpected could happen right here in the good ol' USA, where corporate executives, especially corporate executives that also happen to be lawyers, are known to ALWAYS tell the truth -- even if it hurts!

Sue NASA!!!

[AKnightCowboy]

Those rogues pretty much flaunt that they use Linux with zero regard for SCO's intellectual property rights. SCO vs. The United States Government. Who would win? I'm on the edge of my seat.

Sue?

[SystematicPsycho]

Who is this Sue and does she work for SCO?
--

Re:Sue ME!!!

[lawpoop]

"I don't remember anything about this 'Sue' woman. What do I care that she's using Linux?"

Re:It will be Google

[El]

Followed by a Pepsi promotion where they give away SCO Linux licenses inside Pepsi bottle caps, featuring commercials with the 13 year old kid saying "And I'm here to tell you we're still going to run Linux... legally!"

Re:The big crunch

[Anonymous Coward]

I've posted on slashdot after hitting the bong before too.

Congrats!

Re: litigious bastards

[c1ay]

Google 'litigious bastards' and hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button...

Who will sue all the Mac users?

[Kris_J]

The RIAA is going after all the Kazaa (Windows) users. SCO is going after all the Linux users. Mac users must be feeling pretty unloved, who's going to sue them?

left out...

[DotQuantum]

As everyone should know, SCO, 3 months ago, promised to sue a Linux user within three months

I feel left out, where is the, "In 3 months we [SCO] will promise to sue all OS X users." I mean i want a neat count down timer that i can add to my site.

*cries*

oh well I guess i'll go install linux via virtual pc and get in this round of ppl that sco wants to sue.

Re:It will be Google but not for the reason you th

[E_elven]

>Seriously, anyone with an IQ equal to a doorknob would but easily spot the puppetmastering done by M$ in this particular case...

I fullheartedly agree, old knob.

Re:A poll

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't forget about Darl McBride's mother.

Re:Whom indeed?

[Anonymous Coward]

God was unsuccessful although it was a good shot.

The Devil [sco.com] Vs. GOD [linux.com] - now that sure would make an interesting court case !

Re:It will be Google

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't think it will be Google because they've got the resources to counter-sue.

Yeah, SCO only goes after the little guys like IBM.

But Linux does have WMD....er....wait

[Prien715]

But Linux does have weapons of mass distruction and Iraq stole source code from SCO!

Really!

We don't need to see any evidence. Just listen to the official story.

Re:The big crunch

[Salsaman]

Yup, that was just what I was thinking as well.

Re:Clarity

[NortWind]

And you can reach his lawyers at:
[e-mail]

Re:Who will sue all the Mac users?

[Peyna]

Support technicians, for forcing them to spend 50% of their time helping 5% of their customer base.

Re:Sue ME!!!

[Kwikymart]

How do you know it's a girl? Maybe it's parent's could have listened to a lot of Cash?

Windows fAST

[solprovider]

"Windows for All Stupid Types" was renamed. During market research, they asked the target audience for a better name, and everybody raised their hands and yelled, "Me!"

Re:I tried to be the one!

[standsolid]

I won and operate a 14 computer internet cafe all running linux

Hot damn! What kind of contests are you entering to win a whole dang internet cafe!? I would have loved to see a copy of that bill, tho :)

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:Sue ME!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

I use Windows (network issues force me to)

In other words, Kazaa doesn't run on Linux... :-)

Re:Sue ME!!!

[simcop2387]

oh thats nothing i got errno.h tattooed on my back! i'm living their IP right now!

Obligatory Simpsons Quote

[sik0fewl]

Dealer: Nineteen
Darl: Hit me
Dealer: Twenty
Darl: Hit Me
Dealer: Twenty-one
Darl: Hit me
Dealer: Twenty-two
Darl: SC'oh!

Re:AT&T Trips Up SCO

[Anonymous Coward]

And then Darl Vader sez: "I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it further.

The more correct Title is "Darth McBride"

Re:Tatoo?!?

[bninja_penguin]

OOOOOH, I wish I had mod points for you! Can you settle for me quickly scribbling NUMA on my knuckles??

Re:Sue ME!!!

[Frymaster]

I just know its going to be me!

unlikely. i have it on good authority that they will be using the same formula for choosing victims that the riaa used. so, that means they'll be suing either:

1. a twelve year old girl
2. a senior citizen who actually owns a mac

you should be safe.

Re:Sue ME!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

I can do all that while downloading music off of Kazaa and other file sharing networks! Yaaarrr, shiver me timbers mate!

Re:Sue ME!!!

[Pharmboy]

You can download the Windows source code here [foxyiffers.com] but it appears to be nothing close to a CD's worth of code..... ;)

Re:Whom indeed?

[Pharmboy]

Then if History repeats itself, in 10-20 years we will be cheering on Microsoft as they lawyer-whip some company trying to screw the open source community? I don't have enough drugs to make THAT sound reasonable.

A bit offtopic but ....

[vivek7006]

interesting none the less. SCO has posted top-5 [sco.com] reasons why people should choose SCO Unix over Linux

Re:I've got the press release from SCO right here!

[toddestan]

Your browser refers to itself as a collective "we"?

Aren't we a pompous browser.

Imagine a beowolf cluster of browsers, you insensitive clod!

Re:Not happening

[Anonymous Coward]

Fuck Australia, it's been tomorrow in New Zealand for an extra three hours. Godzone, baby, yeah!

Love you, Australians... *smooch*

Your missing some lies there

[PetoskeyGuy]

Lies 13, 14, 15, 26, 27, 29, 30, 31 are missing.

Do I have to file a Motion to Compel Discovery on you?

Re:Clarity

[ogre57]

.. within the next 90 days.

Tomorrow's Darl quote, "Only a filthy Linux communist hippie terrorist could possibly interpret this as meaning something other than the next 90 business days, which is still several weeks away. And the unexpected Christmas vacation has set our plans back another 15 days." (hey, if they'll try it in court..)

Re:Your missing some lies there

[Anonymous Coward]

Lie 13: There is a lie 13
Lie 14: I can so too count!

Re:The deadline has already passed...

[SydShamino]

I'm sure tomorrow they'll clarify that they meant 90 "business" days...

15 minutes of fame...

[Bull999999]

Come on SCO... I'm a Linux user... Sue me so that I can be on the Pepsi commerical.

Re:Sue ME!!!

[merdark]

Cool, does wine also run the spyware? ;)

(People should use KazaaLite, or a spyware free client!)

Re:Are you idiots?

[Junta]

Actually, SCO was talking about the likes of Google, Governments, essentially a large corporate entity user of linux, not a common user.

But now that you mention it, we should bring this up to Fox, yet *another* reality show. It could be like the apprentice, but replace Trump with Darl McBride and replace 'you're fired' with 'you're being sued'. Excellent.