Dell To Techs: Don't Help Customers Remove Spyware

Alien54 writes "Well, more exactly, be advised that if you are giving a Dell for Xmas, not only will it probably come preloaded with spyware, but their tech support lines will refuse to tell users how to remove it, and will not give people advice on where to find some good tools to remove it. As seen in the latest newsletter from SpyWareInfo, Dell sent an internal memo to its tech support minions which says in part: 'NOTICE: Use of spyware removal software may conflict with user license agreements of other applications installed on your system. Please consult your user license agreements for further information. Dell does not endorse the use of spyware removal software and cannot provide support on these products.' This means we do not take callers to download.com or doxdesk.com, nor do we recommend spyware removal programs, nor do we advise callers on the use of spyware removal programs. This includes using phrases "We don't support the removal of spyware, but I use..."'" (Read on below.Update: 12/03 06:36 GMT by T : And for an update, too.)

"Now isn't that just nifty. Several folks in the antispyware/antivirus community have signed an open letter to Dell Inc. asking them to retract this possibly foolish and misguided policy. That letter is located at here." Update: 12/03 06:36 GMT Mike Healan, editor of spywareinfo.com, writes "The original posting is misleading. Dell is absolutely not installing or preinstalling spyware and the headline gives the impression that it is."

Dude,

[xerxesVII]

I'm not getting a Dell!

Alternatives

[Steve 'Rim' Jobs]

HP [hp.com]
IBM [ibm.com]
Compaq [compaq.com]
Alienware [alienware.com]
Gateway [gateway.com]
Build your own [http]

We have choices, after all.

Dude, your getting...

[saderax]

... used for targeted mass marketing!

Doesn't matter really.

[Neop2Lemus]

It doesn't really matter. Most of us know some techie-geek who, if they can't come over and fix our computers, can at least recommend a prog to fix it.

Unless its' some of that hard-core porn-ware that a guy at our office got. Nothing removed it so they just reinstalled his OS.

BTW, a friend of a friend of a friend's third, hand-me-down advice is still better than the service I've gotten from Dell in the past.

Re:well it doesn't matter too much

[Dr Reducto]

"We don't support it, but I use Apple"
"We don't support it, but yes the weather IS quite nice in Sri Lanka"

You know, that kind of response.

You forgot ;)

[agent dero]

Apple [apple.com]

$20 says I get modded troll :'(

Re:Let me take a crack at this...

[Anonymous Coward]

You're retarded.

Re:We remove spyware all day long

[hhknighter]

so............
you remove a lot of microsoft products then?

Re:Next step: Dell ships spyware

[TheDarkener]

Then some pot-smoking, commercial-acting intern will crack into the master database and get all your favorite pr0n URLs.

Hey! What's wrong with smoking pot, and finding new, fresh free porn sites??

Re:Go Free.

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey thanks for that debian link, I've been looking for that site for ages.

Re: Dell is not your computer handyman

[Black Parrot]

> Why does this surprise people?

I think it's that quaint old idea that companies should at least pretend to have their customers' best interests in mind.

Re:You forgot ;)

[NotAnotherReboot]

Where's my $20?

Re:Dell is not your computer handyman

[aborchers]

Just got one of the HP deals at Walmart, spent 3 hours despying/adware'ing it.

Now you can go see an exorcist to erase the black smudge on your soul you received for shopping at Walmart.

Re:Who modded this pile of crap up?

[SlashChick]

*marks you as a friend* :D

Re:Nasty

[judicar]

Friend: Dood, you know about computers right? me: Well yeah... Friend: Cool, I have this problem ... me: No hablo ingles. Friend: what? hey where are you going??? me: [sound of running feet] Friend: Dood! Come back!

Re:Gateway's Policy

[ender81b]

Heh, I have a friend that works at the tech bench at Best Buy and their "tune up" service largely consists of them removing all spyware, defraggin' the HD, and getting rid of anthing that loads on boot. People are always amazed at how fast their computer runs afterwards and happily bring it back in 3 months later when it starts running slow again. Then they fork over another $75.....

Ahh the joys of spyware.

Re:Build one for them....

[Anonymous Coward]

You could always ask for a blowjob as a reward.

Re:wipe away?

[HiThere]

Personally, I do. My virus removal kit is a Linux CD. I'll support someone using Win95 or Win98, as long as they aren't connected to the net. After that the EULAs get too hairy for me, and I won't deal with them.

Re:Go Free.

[spikev]

No one shoud ever admit to running ME, even under threat of torture and agonizing death.

At least that horrible episode seems to be in your past.

Only a Pointy Haired Boss would put out this memo

[Mike McCune]

Or maybe the higher ups at Dell have been toking a few too many with "The Dell Dude" [thesmokinggun.com]

Re:I've found the oposite...

[ricochet81]

I'm not so sure you are holding your laptop the right way. 600x800?

Re:Nasty

[Anonymous Coward]

yeah, but you can avoid the legalese if you call it a router instead of a gateway

Re:Go Free.

[PReDiToR]

To misquote:
SELECT * FROM AnonymousCowards WHERE clue > 0
Err 0 rows returned

Re:Nasty

[LnxAddct]

I wish the people I knew didn't recognize me as an expert... My aunt brought her computer to my house on Thanksgiving!And no it wasn't a laptop, and no she didn't mention this to me at all beforehand. Ya know what she said? she said, "Hey Steve, I brought a computer with me, think ya could fix it?" I laughed because we were at a family event and I knew noone would dare request something like that on Thanskgiving. After I realized that noone else was laughing, I grudgingly said, "Whats wrong with it?". And you know what she had the balls to say? "It's slow." !!!! It was a Dell if your wondering and it had a P4 with 1.8ghz and 128 mb of ram. It wasn't the fastest thing in the world, but it certainly wasn't the slowest! She was just used to her suped up computer in work. I tried explaining to her the situation, she just kept saying,"Oh I'm sure you can work that magic of yours" and thigns along those lines. She refused to accept no. And then she tried to make me feel bad because she had to bring it all the way here. I did eventually give in, give it a look and clean up some things, but it didn't really change anything(at least not what she wanted changed). In short, this Thanksgiving sucked.

The question is: Why the hell do people think that you can magically make their computers faster? And why do they ask you at the most inconvenient times? Anyone else have any stories like this?

Re:Dell is not bundling spyware : From SWI's Edito

[TwistedGreen]

Misleading and incorrect? on Slashdot? Yeah, so what else is new?

I think it was pretty obvious that Alien54 was just being cynical and stupid when he said "not only will [your Dell] probably come preloaded with spyware..." And that comment tainted the whole article. It's the Slashdot editor's job to avoid that, but I guess Slashdot doesn't care too much about accuracy.

Re:Nasty

[Arker]

For the next 3 years, my neighbor/friend would ask me every month or so why they can't run all of the software that was on sale at the computer store... They just wanted to run the copy of Freddy Fish that grandma bought for the kids.

They can. [microsoft.com]

Re:Build one for them....

[Anonymous Coward]

This is one of the really great things about being a computer geek that puts us up there with auto mechanics, plumbers, lawyers, and anyone else with a skill the average Joe needs but doesn't want to pay full price for. I get a lot of home-cooked meals, free beer from the storeowner down the street, extra hardware from people who ask me to replace an older part with a newer one (I replaced a DVD-ROM recently with a DVD bruner, and took home the DVD-ROM), and inherit a lot of older computers when their owners buy a new one :-).

Rrright... so if we'll say it again in plain English, you are happy that you can't afford a restaurant, it's difficult for you to pay for your own beer and you are really happy using a last-century throwaway computer?

Re:Seconded

[_Spirit]

A doctor friend of mine complained to me once that everybody who knew he was a doctor always felt that they should describe their ailments to him and then ask for his opinion. About two minutes after he told me this he started "You know, my pc has been acting so weird lately..."

Fortunately he's an intelligent fellow and we had a good laugh about it after I explained to him that he was doing the same.

Re:Build one for them....

[hankaholic]

I had to take the bait...

with their new OS build, full of adds

If you think that's bad, you should check out the Linux kernel source sometime. Not only is it full of adds, but bit-shifting and bit masks too!

Such abuse of arithmetic logic in an OS is not to be tolerated.

Re:Build one for them....

[Anonymous Coward]

I absolutly refuse to answer any question about anything computer related for any of my family. As soon as you fix one problem on their pc you are it for life when ANYTHING happens to that machine.

I make an exception for my wife. We have a long-term indefinite "service agreement" with plenty of "performance incentives".

Re:Build one for them....

[spiffturk]

I know someone whose going rate for freelance tech support is nudie pictures, assuming the person is an attractive female.

You'd be surprised how often that results in the person with the problem asking me for help instead.

--
will

Re:Nasty

[Xyd]

Recommending a Mac to your mother to reduce your job as a "support" entity is somewhat selfish. When I purchased a PC for my mother for Christmas, I gave her the option of a Mac or a Dell. While the Mac would be easier to use, she would not be able to offer help to her blue-haired buddies, get help from them, or use something as simple as YIM. "Okay Thelma, right-click on that icon thingy. What? You don't have a right mouse button? Jeez Thelma, your kid bought you a one-buttoned mouse?

Re:Build one for them....

[back_pages]

Right on man.

The key to happiness is realizing that these friends and family don't know a thing about computers either. If a beautiful girl has a dying hard drive, it's suddenly no problem at all to recover her data onto a backup, install a new drive, format and install the OS, put on some updates and Mozilla, configure everything, track down her drivers, replace her backed up data, add your email to her address book and your IM name to her buddy list, and tell her it was no big deal.

And 5 minutes later, when an obnoxious relative needs a floppy drive replaced, just get wide eyed and say, "Gosh, I think you'll need an electrician to look at that. Better send it back to Dell and see if they can fix it."

People come to you because they're bewildered. Exploit that bewilderment.

Simple Solution

[fuctape]

Just wear the appropriate shirt [thinkgeek.com] when you visit your relatives.

Re:Build one for them....

[Lord Apathy]

I've actually had someone pay me this way. Gave me a roll of film with naked pictures of his girlfriend on it.

Re:Nasty

[Anonymous Coward]

I will bet you my next five paychecks...

You're unemployed, right?

Re:Build one for them....

[hesiod]

> install remotely accessible backdoors into the beautiful girl's system

I'd like to install something in her "backdoor," teehee. And I guarantee it ain't software..