Fight Woodworking Piracy: Add EULA Restrictions

An anonymous reader writes "Ed Foster's Gripelog discusses EULA restriction on a new woodworking tool. A small woodworking tool manufacturer, Stots Corporation, includes a license agreement on its TemplateMaster jig tool. The tool is licensed, not sold, and customers cannot sell it or lend it to others. Nor can they sell or lend the jigs they make with it. "Shrinkwrap licenses are showing up everywhere," a reader recently wrote. "I just bought a jig for making dovetailing jigs -- this is woodworker talk if it's unfamiliar to you. The master jig contained a license that says I've licensed the master jig, not bought it. The license says I can't lend or sell the master, and furthermore I can't lend or sell the jigs I make with the master." The reader was referring to Stots Corporation of Harrods Creek, KY, and the user agreement for its TemplateMaster product. Sure enough, the Stots license says TemplateMaster may be used "in only one shop by the original purchaser only" and that "you may not allow individuals that did not purchase the original Product (to) use the Product or any templates produced using the Product..." A FAQ document on the Stots website explains that the license is necessary because "the purpose of the TemplateMaster is to clone itself. Therefore we are verifying your honesty that only you will use the tool and you will not be passing it around to others to use for free. It is exactly the same as the 'shrink wrap' agreement that comes with almost all computer software. Please help us fight 'tool piracy'."

Bah!

[niko9]

Please help us fight 'tool piracy'.

The only tool piracy crime being perpetraed is that the lawyers in that company are able to procreate without supervision.

--

Ladies and Gentlemen...

[Anonymous Coward]

...Mastah Jig!

Yo wazzup y'all! Mastah Jig in the house! Word!

These seeds may not be planted

[nuffle]

The sesame seeds contained in this package are inteded for consumption by the purchaser only. You hereby agree not to plant these seeds. Help us prevent plant piracy!

Rent a life!

[capt.Hij]

This is great! Pretty soon I can go through life without owning everything, and everything I use will essentially be rented. I will be relieved of the material need to own things. "Imagine a world with no posessions."

Not only that, if I get caught breaking the drug laws, the feds can't take anything that I own since I won't own anything. Best of all, when I get tired of my wife and daughter I just have to stop paying the license fees.

I'm free! Free! Free! This is better than living in New Hampshire!

Wife and daughter... Oh cr4p. I don't own anything anyway. This is bogus...

EULA killing AI

[t4b00]

Consider Artificial Intelligence might never happen because if this kind of thing, bots could be unable to "clone themselves" due to End User License Agreement.

Poetry in motion

Re:Bah!

[lanswitch]

But are you gonna be the supervisor? I'm not gonna watch that...

Re:Don't you get protections with a licensed produ

[AKnightCowboy]

So if you break your jig, or it gets stolen, you can phone up and ask for a replacement.

Why not just make a backup copy of it? If the whole point of it is to replicate itself then you can use it to make a backup of itself. Then if it breaks, just use the backup... or use the backup exclusively and store the original in a safe location. Or store your backup on Karpentryzaa (har har) for secure off-site backup.

Re:And don't tear about that antique dresser now!

[Anonymous Coward]

Isn't it a violation of digital protection mechanisms when you hit your thumb with a hammer?

I should license my own tool

[webslacker]

My tool has been used by way too many women far too long to make duplicates of me. In addition to charging women for the use of my instrument, I will require that they only use my hardware for personal use and not for creating pirated copies of myself.

Re:Rent a life!

[skinfitz]

This is great! Pretty soon I can go through life without owning everything, and everything I use will essentially be rented. I will be relieved of the material need to own things. "Imagine a world with no posessions."

Hey don't knock it - Buddhists have been doing this for centuries.

Oh shit

[garethwi]

I just lent my son a hammer for his school woodworking project.

If anyone asks for me, I'm in Mexico.

Re:Bah!

[ocelotbob]

It's a small price to pay if it means fewer lawyers in this world. Of course, many of these lawyers need to say hello to my little friend... [google.com]

Of course, this is all MHO

Re:Bah!

[Anonymous Coward]

Are any of those shots of whisky for the lawyer?

Re:Patents, not shrinkwrap licenses

[switched4OSX]

Screw the 20 story window. Throw the lawyer out of a 2nd story window, repeatedly. No use letting him die quick.

Re:Can't do it.

[HAL9OOO]

If this catches on I suggest you dump your E-Bay stock! I mean if you don't own it, how can you sell it?

"Aah, my woodwork!"

[Compact Dick]

Where's the "I'm not supposed to get jigs in it!" troll when you need him?

Re:Forget Jigs... try Soy Sauce

[kfg]

I might point out that the technical term for a soybean seed is. . . "soybean."

KFG

Re:Bah!

[Anonymous Coward]

What are you? Some kind of comedian?

Yeah, one, but it doesn't have any alcohol in it.

Re:Can't do it.

[Anonymous Coward]

Obviously this has been a huge problem for jib makers for hundreds of years, which is why there are no more jig makers and this jig maker had to design their jib entirely from scratch with no prior knowledge of any other jig.

Oh wait.

Look at the silly monkey

[BorgDrone]

The only tool piracy crime being perpetraed is that the lawyers in that company are able to procreate without supervision.

They aren't very smart either (or, alternatively, they are very smart).

From the article:
The master jig contained a license that says I've licensed the master jig, not bought it.
(...)
the Stots license says TemplateMaster may be used "in only one shop by the original purchaser only" and that "you may not allow individuals that did not purchase the original Product (to) use the Product (...)
(emphasis mine)

So you're not buying the product, and are not allowed to let anyone who didn't buy the product use it.
Ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, that does not make sense.!

Happy birthday to you...

[yanestra]

Copyrighted:

Happy Birthday to You, the four-line ditty was written as a classroom greeting in 1893 by two Louisville teachers, Mildred J. Hill, an authority on Negro spirituals, and Dr. Patty Smith Hill, professor emeritus of education at Columbia University.

The melody of the song Happy Birthday to You was composed by Mildred J. Hill, a schoolteacher born in Louisville, KY, on June 27, 1859. The song was first published in 1893, with the lyrics written by her sister, Patty Smith Hill, as "Good Morning To All."

Happy Birthday to You was copyrighted in 1935 and renewed in 1963. The song was apparently written in 1893, but first copyrighted in 1935 after a lawsuit (reported in the New York Times of August 15, 1934, p.19 col. 6)

In 1988, Birch Tree Group, Ltd. sold the rights of the song to Warner Communications (along with all other assets) for an estimated $25 million (considerably more than a song). (reported in Time, Jan 2, 1989 v133 n1 p88(1)

In the 80s, the song Happy Birthday to You was believed to generate about $1 million in royalties annually. With Auld Lang Syne and For He's a Jolly Good Fellow, it is among the three most popular songs in the English language. (reported in Time, Jan 2, 1989 v133 n1 p88(1)

Happy Birthday to You continues to bring in approximately 2 million dollars in licensing revenue each year, at least as of 1996 accounting, according to Warner Chappell and a Forbes magazine article. [Source [ibiblio.org]]

Don't you ever think, something's for free in the United States of America!

What's next?

[Anonymous Coward]

A EULA restriction on a metal lathe because it can be used to make another lathe?

A license agreement on a ruler?

Re:I should license my own tool

[AVee]

Well, use a shrink-wrap license, if there aren't holes in the license it should work perfectly...

Logical end to this? Naw...

[tacarat]

"These condoms may only be used for hetersexual sex in the Classic Missionary position. We reserve the right to monitor and record any and all incidences of use for compliance. For more information on our privacy policy..."

"These fertility drugs may only be used to produce intelligent children. Producing stupid children violates the terms of this agreement. This agreement can be terminated by either party without notice. Upon termination, all children and remaining medicinal doses must be immediately destroyed or returned to the manufacturer..."
=====

Re:Don't you get protections with a licensed produ

[willtsmith]

We need a service whereby illiterate people open all our software for us. In such a case, they cannot claim that we agreed to the license, nor could our agents as they cannot read ;-)

Re:EULA is not a contract

[Dogtanian]

one should not reasonably expect to make a living selling a product who's purpose is to replicate itself

I was thinking about dabbling in the slave trade, but you've persuaded me otherwise...