Microsoft Patents 'Phone-Home' Failure Reporting 361
theodp writes "On Tuesday, the USPTO awarded a patent to Microsoft for its Method and system for reporting a program failure, although a much more sophisticated version of this technology has been standard on IBM mainframes for years. Maybe prior art searches will improve once the USPTO moves into the new two million square foot USPTO campus, which includes five interconnected buildings, a twelve-story atrium, a landscaped two-acre park, and a museum."
So...many...jokes... (Score:1, Funny)
I'm sorry, ET... (Score:4, Funny)
I think I get it now... (Score:5, Funny)
Next we'll be reading about how each patent clerk gets his own stripper and lapdances are mandatory every hour on the hour.
Method and system for reporting a program failure (Score:5, Funny)
They patented the BSOD?
Museum (Score:3, Funny)
My guess is the museum will hold long gone stuff like "search for previous art".
But at IBM (Score:2, Funny)
No need (Score:5, Funny)
Patent-speak? (Score:5, Funny)
/ damn. I think MS is trying a buffer overflow on my brain
Re:Here we go again... (Score:2, Funny)
I have a patent idea! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I think I get it now... (Score:1, Funny)
Next? I thought this had been done when AOL was trying to get a patent for IM...
Re:Here we go again... (Score:3, Funny)
Thus, you'll have to pay to use it... or pay to not.
The good news is that slashdot will soon we patenting the right to slam microsoft. Due to the grant demand... slashdot will be rich beyond its wildest dreams and give free subscriptions to us all.
Davak
People. People... (Score:1, Funny)
excertp : (Score:2, Funny)
oh my god!
isn't it supposed to be a feature??
Microsoft deserves the patent (Score:2, Funny)
Yeah, so it's justified. I mean, other OSes display cryptic error messages, "guru meditation" errors (amiga), oopses, kernel panics or bombs with all kinds of unintelligible information only hackers can use.
Microsoft, on the other hand, introduced the large blue screen-wide postage stamp, so you *know* immediately it's time to hit that button next to the floppy drive, without having to read idiotic messages. How that for user-friendliness, hmm? uh?
Stop the Microsoft bashing. These guys really do innovate, whether you like it or not. Even Linux doesn't have that user-friendly reboot signal. It's such a sadly made OS it doesn't even crash in fact, that's how boring it is
Re:I think I get it now... (Score:3, Funny)
one obvious source of prior art (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Nearby... (Score:0, Funny)
That place is about a stone's throw from my home. I wonder if they're hiring...
I wonder if you've got enough stones.
Re:Method and system for reporting a program failu (Score:5, Funny)
No, that they copyrighted.
Therefore, according to the DMCA, you should either sit there and wait for the Ashcroft SS to burst through your door, or cut a deal with the BSA in which you agree to pay $50 for every page on which you've ever read those words.
Damn, I quoted you. Forgive me, Ashcroft, for I have sinned ... it has been $150 since my last copyright violation ...
Re:Here we go again... (Score:3, Funny)
Won't happen, too much prior art....
Yay, more patents! (Score:1, Funny)
Random guy 1: Uh, I'd like the patent on what I call "vehicle wheel". It's round and has spokes.
USPTO: Approved. NEXT!
Random guy 2: We have integrated an automatic error reporting into our software. If it breaks, it calls and tells us what happened. Patent please?
USPTO: Approved. NEXT!
Random guy 3: Hey, I have come up with a method to enrich blood cells with oxygen using organic material which I would like a patent on.
USPTO: Approved. NEXT!
...
(#3 turns around and is revealed to be Dr. Evil - he snickers manically having just patented breathing)
Re:Did anyone even -read- the patent? (Score:0, Funny)
that's funny (Score:3, Funny)
Anyway, I didn't read the patent yet, but does it have something to do with reducing the annoyance of phoning home everytime one of their shit products fails?
Now that would be spectacular, and something worth patenting.
We don't use windows on servers anymore...
Re:Contestation period (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I think I get it now... (Score:2, Funny)
If you're paying for them, yes.
Read the claims (Score:2, Funny)
The Zen Point of view (Score:3, Funny)
In other news, after the release of Windows XP service pack 947, Microsoft has suffered a complete DDOS attack as every Windows XP based computer in the world tried submitting a bug report at the same time.