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SCO's Next Target: SGI? 338

FatRatBastard writes "ZDNet News is speculating that SCO's next target in its legal actions against Linux may be SGI. According to the article its legal strategy will be to claim that XFS is a Unix derivative and therefore under SCO control, much like they claim JFS is in their suit with IBM. One fact not mentioned in the article that would support SGI being the next target is the malloc code they claimed was infringing at this years SCOForum was copyrighted SGI."
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SCO's Next Target: SGI?

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  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:08PM (#6884067)
    I'd sue Slashdot for all the stories about SCO. They're clearly trying to profit by SCO's active legal work.
  • by Mr. Darl McBride ( 704524 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:08PM (#6884069)
    While ZDNet is speculating, I thought you might like to hear of the situation from the horse's mouth. Hi, I'm Darl McBride. You might know me from lawsuits such as "IBM is spying on our children" and "you bastards used the whole alphabet for ls options too!"

    Now, we can all agree that XFS is based on our own filesystem, famous for the stability and reliability that give you excellent uptimes when fsck time is included in that uptime measure. You don't get that kind of techonolgy for free, and it doesn't simply <fingerquote> evoooollllve </fingerquote> on its own. That SGI stole and released this is not up for debate. But that piece of invaluable IP isn't the issue here, really.

    Where SGI has really chuffed our muffins is in having the gall to steal our valuable "long-run" technology. By only executing on outdated hardware, we've been able to keep system procurement prices down while effortlessly sustaining the user's reading and coffee time. In an attempt to muscle in on our territory however, SGI have chosen to stay the course with MIPS CPUs and confusingly outdated IRIX. Now, I know that the R5000 was once state of the art and all that, but the damned things are shipping in Playstation 2s. This, while SGI have the gall to tell customers that these are usable for graphics workstations.

    Be the judge and jury on this one, my friends. Why would SGI opt to use this kind of dated processor and leaden IRX OS unless they too were trying to implement our patented "long-run" technology? How long before SGI manages to extend itself into the Linux culture; to prevent system upgrades and encourage ass backward architectures there as well? Soon, our "long-run" technology will be in use by customers the world over, and they will not be paying SCO's investors one penny, your honour.

    Your honour -- Not One Penny.

    Join the good fight. The good fight is the right fight. God has given me a mission, and my investors call me to it. God talks to me nightly. We are talking about my second home here, and I'll be damned if SGI is going to take that away. We are talking about stockholder value, precariously balanced atop press releases, IP confusion, lottery players, and the belief each buyer shares that there will be one more fool beyond him. We are talking about SCO's God-given right to go where no man has gone before, your honour.

    One to beam up, Scotty.

  • by crea5e ( 590098 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:08PM (#6884072)
    Don't they sell Linux too ?

    SCO VS SCO
    ultimate deathmatch!
  • by MikeCapone ( 693319 ) <skelterhell @ y a hoo.com> on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:09PM (#6884076) Homepage Journal
    We should complain to SCO, they haven't been giving us our daily laugh as consistently lately...
  • by EdgeShadow ( 665410 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:09PM (#6884077)
    I suppose you don't call your self "Overly Critical Guy" for nothin'...
  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:11PM (#6884091)
    {sarcasm: semi-lame} It is true! SCO, she is the mother of all OSes, EVEN the ones that were invented before her! A temporal rift created an anti-time anomaly, sending SCO back before its creation to introduce lines of code in earlier OSes... {/sarcasm} bleh...
  • by adrianbaugh ( 696007 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:11PM (#6884093) Homepage Journal
    When they're done with SGI they'll probably track down Ken Thompson and try to claim that he somehow infringed their IP by writing UNIX in the first place. After all, anything and everything to do with UNIX is clearly SCO's by god-given right.

    Morons.
  • by zBoD ( 86938 ) <BoD@JRAF.org> on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:14PM (#6884110) Homepage Journal
    is here [sgi.com].
  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:15PM (#6884122)
    We Love the SCO Information Minister [welovethes...nister.org] is proud to now offer T-shirts and mugs [cafeshops.com] through Cafe Press [cafepress.com]. Any proceeds will be split between our bandwidth costs and free software legal defense funds. Someone order something quick so we can find out if we need to provide alternate artwork :)
  • by Billly Gates ( 198444 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:15PM (#6884123) Journal
    DEAR SIR/MADAM:

    I AM MR. DARL MCBRIDE CURRENTLY SERVING AS THE PRESIDENT AND CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER OF THE SCO GROUP, FORMERLY KNOWN AS CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, IN LINDON, UTAH, UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I KNOW THIS LETTER MIGHT SURPRISE YOUR BECAUSE WE HAVE HAD NO PREVIOUS COMMUNICATIONS OR BUSINESS DEALINGS BEFORE NOW.
    MY ASSOCIATES HAVE RECENTLY MADE CLAIM TO COMPUTER SOFTWARES WORTH AN ESTIMATED $1 BILLION U.S. DOLLARS. I AM WRITING TO YOU IN CONFIDENCE BECAUSE WE URGENTLY REQUIRE YOUR ASSISTANCE TO OBTAIN THESE FUNDS. IN THE EARLY 1970S THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION DEVELOPED AT GREAT EXPENSE THE COMPUTER OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARE KNOWN AS UNIX. UNFORTUNATELY THE LAWS OF MY COUNTRY PROHIBITED THEM FROM SELLING THESE SOFTWARES AND SO THEIR VALUABLE SOURCE CODES REMAINED PRIVATELY HELD. UNDER A SPECIAL ARRANGEMENT SOME PROGRAMMERS FROM THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF BERKELEY DID ADD MORE CODES TO THIS OPERATING SYSTEM, INCREASING ITS VALUE, BUT NOT IN ANY WAY TO DILUTE OR DISPARAGE OUR FULL AND RIGHTFUL OWNERSHIP OF THESE CODES, DESPITE ANY AGREEMENT BETWEEN AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH AND THE CALIFORNIA UNIVERSITY OF BERKELEY, WHICH AGREEMENT WE DENY AND DISAVOW. IN THE YEAR 1984 A CHANGE OF REGIME IN MY COUNTRY ALLOWED THE AMERICAN TELEPHONE AND TELEGRAPH CORPORATION TO MAKE PROFITS FROM THESE SOFTWARES. IN THE YEAR 1990 OWNERSHIP OF THESE SOFTWARES WAS TRANSFERRED TO THE CORPORATION UNIX SYSTEM LABORATORIES. IN THE YEAR 1993 THIS CORPORATION WAS SOLD TO THE CORPORATION NOVELL. IN THE YEAR 1994 SOME EMPLOYEES OF NOVELL FORMED THE CORPORATION CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, WHICH BEGAN TO DISTRIBUTE AN UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM KNOWN AS LINUX. IN THE YEAR 1995 NOVELL SOLD THE UNIX SOFTWARE CODES TO SCO. IN THE YEAR 2001 OCCURRED A SEPARATION OF SCO, AND THE SCO BRAND NAME AND UNIX CODES WERE ACQUIRED BY THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL, AND IN THE FOLLOWING YEAR THE CALDERA SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL WAS RENAMED SCO GROUP, OF WHICH I CURRENTLY SERVE AS CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER.

    MY ASSOCIATES AND I OF THE SCO GROUP ARE THEREFORE THE FULL AND RIGHTFUL OWNERS OF THE OPERATING SYSTEM SOFTWARES KNOWN AS UNIX. OUR ENGINEERS HAVE DISCOVERED THAT NO FEWER THAN SEVENTY (70) LINES OF OUR VALUABLE AND PROPRIETARY SOURCE CODES HAVE APPEARED IN THE UPSTART OPERATING SYSTEM LINUX. AS YOU CAN PLAINLY SEE, THIS GIVES US A CLAIM ON THE MILLIONS OF LINES OF VALUABLE SOFTWARE CODES WHICH COMPRISE THIS LINUX AND WHICH HAS BEEN SOLD AT GREAT PROFIT TO VERY MANY BUSINESS ENTERPRISES. OUR LEGAL EXPERTS HAVE ADVISED US THAT OUR CONTRIBUTION TO THESE CODES IS WORTH AN ESTIMATED ONE (1) BILLION U.S. DOLLARS.

    UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE HAVING DIFFICULTY EXTRACTING OUR FUNDS FROM THESE COMPUTER SOFTWARES. TO THIS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE MANDATE BY MY COLLEAGUES TO CONTACT YOU AND ASK FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE. WE ARE PREPARED TO SELL YOU A SHARE IN THIS ENTERPRISE, WHICH WILL SOON BE VERY PROFITABLE, THAT WILL GRANT YOU THE RIGHTS TO USE THESE VALUABLE SOFTWARES IN YOUR BUSINESS ENTERPRISE. UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE NOT ABLE AT THIS TIME TO SET A PRICE ON THESE RIGHTS. THEREFORE IT IS OUR RESPECTFUL SUGGESTION, THAT YOU MAY BE IMMEDIATELY A PARTY TO THIS ENTERPRISE, BEFORE OTHERS ACCEPT THESE LUCRATIVE TERMS, THAT YOU SEND US THE NUMBER OF A BANKING ACCOUNT WHERE WE CAN WITHDRAW FUNDS OF A SUITABLE AMOUNT TO GUARANTEE YOUR PARTICIPATION IN THIS ENTERPRISE. AS AN ALTERNATIVE YOU MAY SEND US THE NUMBER AND EXPIRATION DATE OF YOUR MAJOR CREDIT CARD, OR YOU MAY SEND TO US A SIGNED CHECK FROM YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT PAYABLE TO "SCO GROUP" AND WITH THE AMOUNT LEFT BLANK FOR US TO CONVENIENTLY SUPPLY.

    KINDLY TREAT THIS REQUEST AS VERY IMPORTANT AND STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL. I HONESTLY ASSURE YOU THAT THIS TRANSACTION IS 100% LEGAL AND RISK-FREE.
  • by adrianbaugh ( 696007 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:15PM (#6884125) Homepage Journal
    In the original IBM lawsuit it occurred to me that it isn't SCO that's going to be using the Chewbacca defence after all, but IBM. After all, isn't it wookies that rip people's arms off if they lose? ;-)
  • by Mr. Darl McBride ( 704524 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:17PM (#6884141)
    I'm sorry my friend... I'm sorry, sir... but do you see Bill walking funny? It's time to lay off the funny, sir. It's time for serious grown-up things. Do you see Bill walking funny, and do you see me walking funny? We've taken the anal pledge, my friend. The anal pledge.

    Bill and I are the best kind of business partners. When people ask me, "Is SCO in bed with Microsoft?" I give them my special executive Goatse.cx link. "Yes sir," I say proudly, "Yes sir, I am, and that man was no fudge-virgin, your honour. No sir, he was not. I tasted Stacker and Bungee on his person."

  • SCO vs RIAA (Score:5, Funny)

    by Neppy ( 673459 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:18PM (#6884149)
    How long until SCO sues the RIAA for infringing on its patented process of public relations?
  • by rock_climbing_guy ( 630276 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:18PM (#6884152) Journal
    Jeff Bezos will be suing SCO for violating Amazon.com's patent on frivolous litigation. However, it looks like the patent might be rescended because their is too much prior art.
  • by Jeff Breker ( 681514 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:19PM (#6884161)
    I can't wait for SCO to accuse *BSD of infringing SCO's IP (or whatever SCO is calling it these days)...
  • by Nighttime ( 231023 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:20PM (#6884164) Homepage Journal
    These are the toddler's property laws, but could equally apply to SCO.

    If I like it - it's mine.

    If it's in my hand - it's mine.

    If I can take it from you - it's mine.

    It I had it a little while ago - it's mine.

    If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

    If I'm doing or building something - all the pieces are mine.

    If it looks just like mine - it is mine.

    If I saw it first - it's mine.

    If you are playing with something and you put it down -

    it automatically becomes mine.

    If it's broken - it's yours!
  • J- what? (Score:1, Funny)

    by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:20PM (#6884165)
    This scared the hell outta me:
    "much like they claim JFS is".
    The first time I saw it I thought it's JSF (Joint Strike Fighter), although it would be cool to have a servier able to fly at mach speeds.
  • by Mr. Darl McBride ( 704524 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:23PM (#6884185)
    Sir, if you do not believe we intend to use the temporal rift theory, one of many such weapons in our powerful legal arsenal, you are not a well man.

    That we've lost the leader of our legal team is conjecture and fallacy -- David Boies has been sent back to battle the first offender. The very first thief of SCO's mighty library of intellectual property. The next suit, and first in the new time line, will be filed against none other than Charles Babbage, your honour. Charles Babbage and his fabulous counting machines will fall like so many loose gears in the cuckoo clock that is the world of SCO IP.

  • by niko9 ( 315647 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:24PM (#6884199)
    Reminds me of a scene from Fast Times at Ridgemont high, where Jeff Spicoli has a pizza pie delivered to class. When the professor fumes at why he's disrupting his class time, Spicolli retorts "If, like, I'm here, and like, you're here, does'nt that make that our time?"

    With SCO's asshat logic, McBide must be and alumin of that same school or a long lost relative of Spicolli.

    P.S. The professor agrees with his obtuse student, and proceeds to hand a out a piece of the pie to all the students. ;)
  • by Mr. Darl McBride ( 704524 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:26PM (#6884208)
    Sir, I will have you leave my mother out of this!
  • by cperciva ( 102828 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:36PM (#6884259) Homepage
    If it's broken - it's yours!

    Oh, so *that's* why SCO isn't suing Microsoft.
  • by Chris Sontag ( 684398 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:36PM (#6884264) Homepage
    Hey Darl, I got that Crack Cocaine you said you wanted. Where should I put it?
  • by Mr. Darl McBride ( 704524 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:44PM (#6884307)
    And I call you on my patent for generally unfunny posting. A stalemate, sir -- a stalemate.
  • by Chris Sontag ( 684398 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:44PM (#6884309) Homepage
    Actually ZDNet have it all wrong. Our actual next target is God himself. As you know, God is responsible for all life on earth, including "trees". The way trees recursively divide their branches is a blatant copy of the hierarchical file system present in Unix. We plan to file suit in the next week or so.
  • by Mr. Darl McBride ( 704524 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:46PM (#6884318)
    Well, hell if I know. Boies took off with the bong, and I think he had my goddamned mirror to boot.

    God knows we've got enough of these UnixWare CDs still sitting around. I wonder if they'll work...

  • by Spunk ( 83964 ) <sq75b5402@sneakemail.com> on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:47PM (#6884329) Homepage
    You've been waiting all day for this, haven't you?
  • by Mr. Darl McBride ( 704524 ) * on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:50PM (#6884340)
    Chris, I hate to interrupt you during one of your magical tirades... but the drugs are kicking in, Chris. Chris, the drugs are kicking in, and I've just noticed something new: These Linux boys seem to be using a lot of semicolons. A lot of semicolons, Chris.

    Why don't you head back on down to the community college and see what our "MIT" boys think of that. Have we got another pattern here, Chris? Is this another pattern, Chris?

    I think of you when I'm naked, Christopher.

  • by x136 ( 513282 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @07:58PM (#6884388) Homepage
    Quit hittin' yourself!
    *whack*
    Quit hittin' yourself!
    *whack*
  • by IbmSockPuppet ( 700756 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @08:00PM (#6884402)
    so little time. How will they fit in time to dump their stock? Priorities and all that.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 05, 2003 @08:06PM (#6884438)
    It's the Rise of the Machines!

    In late 2003, SCO send a Darl McBride model 101, back in time to kill Ken Thompson. Through a bizarre twist of fate, and several time-space continuum paradoxes, Darl McBride disappears up his own arse.

    Bizarrely enough, "SCO Darl McBride" is an anagram of "IBM-scarred clod" - I like that...

  • by Alien Being ( 18488 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @08:38PM (#6884607)
    Little do they know he's actually a double agent working for the Secret Chimps Organization.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday September 05, 2003 @08:38PM (#6884608)
    Lindon UTAH, September 6th - SCO Group, Inc. (NASDAQ:SCOX) announced a three trillion dollar law suit against SCO's Australian subsiduary today.

    Senior Vice President of SCO's licensing division, Chris Sontag, said "We have evidence of direct line-by-line copying and unauthorized derivative code of SCO's Unixware software, being present in Unixware. Unixware is, in material part, an unauthorized derivate of Unixware."

    SCO Group, Inc. also announced a Unixware licensing program for those SCO Australia's users who were concerned about liability for violating SCO's IP rights. President and CEO, Darl McBride, said "SCO Australia's users should consult with counsel about their legal risks for using Unixware", and added "We have a solution that gets you clean, and keeps you out of the court room.".

    SCO's Communications Director Blake Stowell, added that SCO is preparing to send invoices to SCO Australia's Unixware users.

    Senior Analyst at the Yankee Group, Laura DiDio, queried why SCO Australia is not indemnifying their customers against SCO's IP claims.

    SCOX stock was up $0.76 (7.4%) today as a result of the news, and upon rumors that IBM contained the letters S, C, and O in the longer version of their company name.

    In a CNBC commentary, Jonathan Cohen of JHC Capital Management, commented that he expects SCO to earn $1.33 per share in the next 12 months, independent of any money received due to litigation. Cohen also pointed out that the International Business Maxines Corporation may also be infringing on SCOX's proprietary letter X.

    IBM declined to comment on this story.
  • by joebeone ( 620917 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @10:06PM (#6884987) Homepage
    How about "We've come to take your code"
  • by RedWizzard ( 192002 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @10:10PM (#6884999)
    SCO (some corrupt organisation)
    No, no, no! It stands for Smoking Crack Operation. Everyone knows that!
  • by rice_burners_suck ( 243660 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @10:37PM (#6885099)
    In other news, international terrorist Osama McBride threatened to cause death and destruction that exceeds in every way the deaths caused by every war in the world since the beginning of time.

    A spokesperson for SCO said, "By leveraging innovative death and destruction technologies, content providers streamline compelling digital rights management solutions." In other words, dead men violate no copyrights.

  • Re:AAARGGHH (Score:2, Funny)

    by killmenow ( 184444 ) on Friday September 05, 2003 @10:45PM (#6885156)
    In the spirit of open source, I would point out that you have the ability to do this yourself. That's one of the benefits of open source over closed source: in the closed source world, you bitch and moan about things, but can do little else; whereas, in the open source world, you can bitch and moan about things, and people will tell you to STFU and do it yourself if you want it so bad.

    Welcome to the revolution.
  • by mj01nir ( 153067 ) * on Saturday September 06, 2003 @01:04AM (#6885730)
    http://support.novell.com/ [novell.com]
    Does she look familiar?

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