Florida Proposes Taxing Local LANs

Vellmont writes "From the state that brought you the 2000 presidential election debacle, now comes the proposal to tax your LAN. The Orlando Business Journal is reporting that the the state of Florida is thinking about putting a 9% tax on LANs within the state. Exactly what they will be taxing isn't clear, since the tax amounts to 9% of... something. Will taxing the electrical wires within your home be next?"

Fark says it best...

[Wakko Warner]

[FLORIDA]. What more can you say about a state that can't even figure out voting?

Re:Maybe I have missed somthing...

[canajin56]

Because it wasn't taxed yet

Which state?

[Anonymous Coward]

From the state that brought you the 2000 presidential election debacle

Would that be Texas?

Who the hell is going to enforce this?

[Bones3D_mac]

Are they going to audit anyone with a computer and an email address?

Jeb

[Anonymous Coward]

What else can you expect from the state that elected a guy named "Jeb".

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Great!

[malibucreek]

Well, if it's nine percent of my incoming spam that they want... the state can have it.

Heck, take 100 percent. Anything I can do to help.

The most outrageus thing i ever heard!!!

[Anonymous Coward]

if you tax LAN, you can tax telephone, gas lines, electricity, radio, TV... anything... havent they heard than in the 20th century, it's the state for it's people rather than the people for the sate...?!!!!

About that rate.

[Black Parrot]

> Exactly what they will be taxing isn't clear, since the tax amounts to 9% of... something.

Clearly, they'll charge you 94,371.84 bytes per megabyte.

Presumably you can pay by simply sending them a big e-message.

read my lips...

[PoPRawkZ]

no new packets!

Re:Who the hell is going to enforce this?

[Bones3D_mac]

Oh yeah... and what is the policy on parallel computing? Are they cconsidered a network or just a single computer?

God, this is going to get confusing fast.

Looking for feedback

[SnowWolf2003]

"We're hoping we get a lot of attention paid to this and understand what impact would it have," he says.

I am thinking that they will have trouble finding any positive responses.

Nobody Expects...

[Lawrence_Bird]

The Lanquisition!

NOBODY expects the LANquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to the IRS.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.

Don't fret, folks.

[Dirtside]

This is all just an attempt to take back the coveted title of The Doofus State [miami.com] from California. We reacquired it thanks to our upcoming election. (If Schwarzenegger wins, it's Total Recall, I suppose.)

Taxman

[Esion Modnar]

Let me tell you how it will be, here's one for you nineteen for me, 'cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman.

Should 95% appear to small, be thankful I don't take it all, 'cause I'm the taxman, yeah, I'm the taxman.

If you drive your car, I'll tax the street, if you take a walk, I'll tax your feet, if you get too cold, I'll tax the heat, if you take the bus, I'll tax your seat, TAXMAN!!!

Re:Which state?

[Anonymous Coward]

Don't blame us, we tried to keep him home.

Recount!

[SuperBanana]

Exactly what they will be taxing isn't clear, since the tax amounts to 9% of... something

If it's by the byte, for heavily black/jewish democratic networks 1MB= 1024kB. On republican networks 1MB will = 1000kB.

Oh...and will they count hanging patch cords? What about ones that are plugged in, but haven't fully clicked into the port, and fall out during counting?

God help Florida users if the government learns of half versus full duplex...

Next: a tax on taxes

[MikeCapone]

I'm impressed.

I'd send them a check...

[KillerHamster]

...right after I finish writing one for SCO.

National Athem, Rev2

[switcha]

Now they will have to edit out that part about "LAN of the free, and home of the brave".

Wha'?! It's what?

What they'll tax...

[sterno]

Actually, as it turns out, because of some voting confusion, for every LAN installation, you'll be expected to pay approximately 9% of Pat Buchanan to the state of Florida. Pat Buchanan could not be reached for comment.

Re:Fark says it best...

[Anonymous Coward]

I can imagine what can they tax.
eg for each mb sent through network 1kb would have to be sent to the .gov
or evry second TP would have to be given away (two pairs aren't used anyway)

Don't forget

[Anonymous Coward]

Florida isn't supposed to have people living here. It's supposed to be a tourist place.

"That clanging you hear ..."

[Sebby]

"That clanging you hear is the machine working," he says.

Funny, I could swear it was businesses moving to other states...

Actually . . .

[CVaneg]

Looking at a rundown of the tax [aif.com] that AFI, the lobby group mentioned in the article, has posted on their website

The tax would be payable on the actual cost of operating and maintaining the system, which DOR defines as including the following:
. . .
Taxes, licensing, and franchising costs

It would in fact appear that at least part of this tax is derived from the amount you pay in taxes.

Of course I always thought it worked the other way around, with the goverment taxing you on a service based on how much it cost them to run it, but this way is so much more cost effective, with the government not actually having to provide a service before taking your money.

Re:Maybe I have missed somthing...

[Anonymous Coward]

Because we need to build multi-billion dollar missile defense systems that don't even work to protect us from terrorists who don't even own sophisticated missile systems. It's all very logical, really.

Probably just a typo

[isomeme]

They meant to enact a new property tax, i.e., a tax on land, but somebody dropped the 'd'.

Of course, another sense of property taxation would be pretty hard on enterprise Java developers.

Re:Fark says it best...

[fmileto]

I believe a H. Simpson captured it in the phrase "Florida. That's America's wang."

Ok Florida

[Anonymous Coward]

you can pass the crack pipe back to SCO now.

Re:Maybe I have missed somthing...

[L0neW0lf]

Because senior citizens rarely use LANs, so the AARP and won't bitch about it much. ;) Don't you know ANYTHING about how Florida works?

Re:Actually . . .

[hamsterboy]

Interestingly enough, Oregon is actually using this idea. Salem recently introduced a new "sur-tax," which adds between 1 and 9 percent on top of whatever tax you're already paying. So you pay a tax for the privilege of paying taxes.

I'd run for state legislature myself, but (a)I'm not old enough, and (b)I'm not stupid enough to get elected.

Hamster

Re:This is just as absurd as taxing coffee

[Anonymous Coward]

And tea! I've heard the government is taxing tea! And they make us buy stamps, too. It's intolerable, I tell you.

Somebody oughta do something about that.

Re:Maybe I have missed somthing...

[Dorothy 86]

"That clanging you hear is the machine working," he says.

ahh yes, the machine with the wrench is clanging nicely today...

Re:Here's a good reason WHY this is being attempte

[Darby]

I feel sorry for the poor soul who'll get elected as our president next because he's gonna have an almost impossible task on his hands (he'll need to take massive and very unpopular action to fix this mess being created by the current politicians).

Well, he could always try being honest, put Shrub in prison for treason and bill Asshat for all the money he spent covering up a statue since he has the maturity of a thirteen year old. That should help his popularity enormously.

Re:Jeb

[FunWithHeadlines]

" What else can you expect from the state that elected a guy named "Jeb".

Come and listen to a story about a guv named Jeb
A rich southernor, barely got his bro Prez,
Then one day he was lookin' for more dough,
And got the idea he could tax the LANs too.

Data that is, ethernet, Texas bits.

Well the first thing you know ol' Jeb's still a millionaire,
Kinfolk said Jeb give some cash from there
Said Floridee is the place for dough and fun
So they loaded up the vaults and moved to Washington.

DC, that is.
Greedy pols, movie stars.

Re:GEORGE W. BUSH IS NOT A TEXAN!

[Anonymous Coward]

That's ok, Hillary is a "fellow New-Yorker" too.

Re:Maybe I have missed somthing...

[HiThere]

Annual lease payments? Huh? On a LAN? Not on a computer, where I can see an annual lease payment, but on a LAN?

They appear to not know what they're talking about... "OK everyone, the tax assessor's coming. Unplug your computers, and we'll power down and disconnect the routers." You may think that's silly, but if you do that, there is no LAN. If you want to tax something, tax the hardware or the software...O, wait, they already do.

But what is this "LAN" that you're leasing?

Re:Great!

[SuperKendall]

What'll be interesting to see is how they define what a LAN actually is. Hubs, routers, switches, and spools of CAT-5 or coax, sure, but will they be including NICs -- which are arguably part of the PC rather than the network proper -- or network operating systems?


I don't know about you, but by sheer coincidence I just converted my whole LAN to a WAN! Too bad for the tax man.

Re:GEORGE W. BUSH IS NOT A TEXAN!

[Waffle Iron]

I'm kind of surprised that the Texas constitution doesn't proscribe foreigners like Bush from being governor.

So...

[El]

what's the annual depreciation on two cans with a string tied between? Wouldn't we have a lot better laws if there was some "enforcibility" criteria they had to meet before they were passed?

Reminds me of something

[Anonymous Coward]

William Gladstone, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, was invited to witness a demonstration of Faraday's electrical equipment. Gladstone asked, "This is quite interesting, Faraday, but of what practical worth is it?" Faraday replied, "One day, sir, you may tax it."

Re:Many regulations solve real problems

[Anonymous Coward]

against unauthorized wiretaps

I didn't think there was any such thing any more. }:)

Re:Fark says it best...

[Anonymous Coward]

Hehe, time to but gable making equipment and set up a black market cat 5e cable shop

Wasn't that a Magic: The Gathering card?

[Anonymous Coward]

Lan Tax
Card Color : White
Casting Cost : W
Card Type : enchantment
Edition : Fourth Edition [Rare 1], Legends [Uncommon 1]
Power/Toughness : n/a
Artist : Brian Snoddy
Card Text: During your legislative session, if a taxpayer controls more money than you think they should, you may search their wallet and remove up to as much money as you want and put that into the general fund. Reshuffle that and other tax sources afterwards.

chartered accountancy

[Fishstick]

tax on "thingy":

Politician: Gentlemen, our MP saw the PM this AM and the PM wants more LSD from the PIB by tomorrow AM or PM at the latest. I told the PM's PPS that AM was NBG so tomorrow PM it is for the PM it is zero. Give us a fag or I'll go spare. Now- the fiscal deficit with regard to the monetary balance, the current financial year excluding invisible exports, but adjusted of course for seasonal variations and the incremental statistics of the fiscal and revenue arrangements for the forthcoming annual budgetary period terminating in April.

First Official: I think he's talking about taxation.

Politician: Bravo, Madge. Well done. Taxation is indeed the very hub of my gist. Gentlemen, we have to find something new to tax.

Second Official: I understood that.

Third Official: If I might put my head on the chopping block so you can kick it around a bit, sir...

Politician: Yes?

Third Official: Well most things we do for pleasure nowadays are taxed, except one.

Politician: What do you mean?

Third Official: Well, er, smoking's been taxed, drinking's been taxed but not ... thingy.

Politician: Good Lord, you're not suggesting we should tax... thingy?

First Official: Poo poo's?

Third Official: No.

First Official: Thank God for that. Excuse me for a moment. (leaves)

Third Official: No, no, no - thingy.

Second Official: Number ones?

Third Official: No, thingy.

Politician: Thingy!

Second Official: Ah, thingy. Well it'll certainly make chartered accountancy a much more interesting job.

Re:Next: a tax on taxes

[superyooser]

Patent the tax.

Every time the government taxes someone, they have to pay royalties to you.

Re:Next: a tax on taxes

[mesach]

Which in turn you would have to pay taxes on.

But wait couldn't you just claim that since they would be owing you money that you paid, you shouldnt need to pay it and instead keep the interest for yourself.

hmmm
2. ???
3. PROFIT!

somehow theres a money makin scheme in there

Re:Fark says it best...

[dasunt]

Sorry for the OT post, but I wish to `correct' the previous poster's comment:

From US history, it seems that the campaign against marijuana was not due to economic reasons (nobody important was making or losing large amount of money with it) but due to the perception that marijuana was associated with a specific racial group (African Americans) and that it had a tendency to drive people to commit violent crimes.

So, blame lack of knowledge and racism for the ban against marijuana, not dark economic conspiracies.

( Incidentally, I believe I remember reading about how marijuana was legal during prohibition, oddly enough. )

Re:Fark says it best...

[dryeo]

Sorry for the OT post, but I wish to `correct' the previous poster's comment: From US history, it seems that the campaign against marijuana was not due to economic reasons (nobody important was making or losing large amount of money with it) but due to the perception that marijuana was associated with a specific racial group (African Americans) and that it had a tendency to drive people to commit violent crimes. So, blame lack of knowledge and racism for the ban against marijuana, not dark economic conspiracies. ( Incidentally, I believe I remember reading about how marijuana was legal during prohibition, oddly enough. )
Actually after prohibition there was a lot of G-Men unemployed who needed a new vice to attack.
Also hemp was being used in new industrial processes eg hemp paper which threatened a certain newspaper tycoon who had invested in cheap (wood) pulp paper.

Re:Fark says it best...

[stewwy]

Interestingly marijuana was banned not because it was/is a drug, but because it comes from hemp, which was a competitor of cotton, so even then you can see buisness controlled the law!