Saving the Net 790
An anonymous reader writes "Doc Searls, editor at Linux Journal, has a very insightful editorial that brings it all together - the FCC media consolidation ruling, SCO vs. Linux, why broadband is under attack by telcos and cable systems, why we lost Eldred vs. Ashcroft, what's really interesting about Howard Dean's presidential campaign, and a very astute observation about the vast gulf between Liberals and Conservatives."
Hrmm (Score:4, Funny)
Who needs the Internet? (Score:3, Funny)
Oh yeah? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Dean for President (Score:5, Funny)
No, actually it was to facilitate the sharing of physics papers.
Save the internet? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Hrmm (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Who needs the Internet? (Score:1, Funny)
<common aol user>
You mean, AOL isn't the internet? I'm confused.
</common aol user>
</sarcasm>
Bringing it all together (Score:4, Funny)
July 23rd, 2008
ASSOCIATED PRESS
In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court today upheld the Pre-emptive Piracy Prevention Act (PPPA), which gave the private armies employed by the sole remaining media corporation the power to declare and pursue war against individuals on US soil - who can then be designated as "enemy combatants" and tried by military tribunals created by our glorious leader, Grand Marshall Rupert Murdoch.
Omnimedia spokesmen hailed the ruling, calling it a victory for intellectual property rights, and saying that it vindicated their use of nuclear weapons against the city of Palo Alto, where their intelligence indicated that the source of all the world's pirated content, the so-called "Universal Inserter," was hiding.
Mere minutes after the blast, the Universal Inserter uploaded an illegal copy of Charlice's new video (purchase a license to view title) [goatse.cx], to his partner in crime, the Universal Downloader. Experts believe the upload is genuine.
The attorney representing the Universal Inserter, Stanford Professor Lawrence Lessig, who has drawn considerable controversy for refusing to acknowledge that his client even exists, was unavailable for comment as he is being held on charges of aiding and abetting the enemy at the Omnimedia detention center in Gautonomo Bay.
Geeks only think about one thing! (Score:2, Funny)
Used to 5-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do, so for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and longed for his old life and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him and in disbelief, he asked her:
"Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
"I rowed from the other side of the island," she said. "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many are there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you."
"It's only me, "she said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing did."
He was confused. "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
"Oh, simple, " replied the woman. "I made the rowboat out of materials that I found on the island. The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."
"B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no tools or hardware. How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of the island there is a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgettable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware. But enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?"
Sheepishly, he confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole time.
"Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said. After a few minutes of rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to the shore he nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walked into the house, she said casually:
"It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please; would you like a drink?"
"No, no thank you," he said, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?"
Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk.
After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened onto it's end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman is amazing," mused. "What next?"
When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines - strategically positioned - and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me, " she began, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "we've been out here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these months. You know..." She stared into his eyes.
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean--?" he replied...... "You mean.....I can check my e-mail from here?"
Synopsis (Score:0, Funny)
Oh yeah, there was some other stuff about lunix and teh intarweb and stuff, but nothing that we haven't heard about a jillion times before, and he's only using it as a push up bra to sell his saggy dug story. I'm sure we'll all rush to get in our own views on Our Rights Online without bothering to read Doc's rant, but it's getting a bit boring taking part in the Slashdot circle jerk. Yes, eternal copy right bad, puppies good. Frankly I'd rather just skip the pretence that we've read the article, and just grill Doc on why he hates America so much.
Black powah, bruthas!
Re:Dean for President (Score:4, Funny)
sorry mr. jones (Score:2, Funny)
with me it does of course
Re:How to Save the Net (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Egads (Score:3, Funny)
Re:liberal (Score:2, Funny)
Re: Piled Higher and Deeper? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Hrmm (Score:2, Funny)
Don't forget the Warez boards! Woohoo. Do I have enough credits to download Space Quest II or do I need to upload something? Gotta think quick, only 45 minutes left on my allotted time today. I wish there was still warez groups around today. Getting free software was kind of nice. Now I have to go out and buy it. That sucks. Whatever happened to warez?
Re:Dean for President (Score:3, Funny)
OT, but since you brought it up... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Dean for President (Score:3, Funny)