Telemarketers Plan Counterattack 587
Chris Hoofnagle writes "CNN reports that companies who heavily use telemarketing are planning to counterattack consumers with a barrage of spam and junk mail in October, when the new do-not-call registry goes into effect. Slashdotters should be aware that, as well as anti-spam email software, there are tools to avoid junk snail-mail, such as Junkbusters' free Declare, Private Citizen's excellent service and the Postal Service's Prohibitory Order service, which is described at the EPIC privacy page."
SPAM (Score:2, Funny)
Comical. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Yes... (Score:5, Funny)
There's only one way to stop this (Score:2, Funny)
So, I propose that we set up a fake telemarketing/spam centre that pretends to be your typical telemarketer. But instead of sending you a long distance plan or penis enlarger, it actually just sends out a pyromaniac to burn your house down if you buy something.
The best part is it only has to be done once or twice to have a strong dampening effect; it may not actually need to be done at all, since the people that buy stuff from spam/telemarketers are probably the same people that believe urban legends and those 'pass this to your friends' e-mails.
It's a foolproof plan. Quick, someone start the chain e-mail!
The best way to avoid spam (Score:4, Funny)
"The best way to avoid spam is to never give out your e-mail address to anyone."
It's good advice. I've been using that method ever since I read that, and it's working beautifully.
Another one bites the dust (Score:5, Funny)
Businesses are supposed to provide products and services, not shove them down our throats. It is our choice what we buy anyway, isn't it?
Re:This'll be great for the environment! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:EPIC slashdotted (Score:1, Funny)
Hmm... (Score:5, Funny)
Not a problem, as I'm reasonably certain that such tactics will lead them to the promised land of lawsuits, Chapter 11, and finally, Cellblock 6A, which houses Bubba's Fudge-Packing Factory. Spam on dear telemarketers. Spam your way to an 8x10 cell where you can push your wares on a 300lbs man who hasn't seen a woman in 15 years.
Hell (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Yes... (Score:5, Funny)
Snail-mail spam (Score:5, Funny)
Re:SPAM (Score:2, Funny)
Maybe it was nice to have SPAM keeping me company.
Want some of mine? I have plenty to share...
Bring on the junk snail mail .. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:sociopaths!!!! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:SPAM (Score:5, Funny)
<ackbar>It's a trap!</ackbar>
Comment removed (Score:2, Funny)
Re:STOP BUYING still won't work (Score:5, Funny)
You know... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:STOP BUYING. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:RReaahh (Score:2, Funny)
For maximum effectiveness, you need to direct your advertisements more carefully at the target market. If your callers are primarily nuetered dogs, you should consider playing to your customers promotional material for products such as:
This targeted marketing strategy will help ensure maximum return for your marketing expenditures.
Is it just me? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Bah! It won't make a difference. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Hmm... (Score:5, Funny)
You won't be seeing much of his face.
Re:Bah! It won't make a difference. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:RReaahh (Score:3, Funny)
The scary part is that there actually is such a product [neuticles.com] on the market. From their page:
Umm...yeah. Whatever. That sounds like the kind of thing the old biddy with the toy poodle/Chihuahua/Pomeranian/[insert annoying small-dog breed here] that never stops yapping would buy for the little beast.
send it all to me you whimps (Score:2, Funny)
Some day soon, the phone rings... (Score:4, Funny)
Cthulhu: Hello?
JF Lyons: Hi there, Mr. Khooloo, I calling you because I want to give you what you want to eat! Interested?
Cthulhu: Why yes, I am a bit peckish...
Top Three (Score:3, Funny)
3. An anonymous death threat. Not directed at me personally, but still it was coming to the family phone number. He informed me that he was "sharpening the knives" among other things.
2. Some chick who wanted me to repair a wheelchair, because that was obviously what I do. (It's not.)
1. Some guy calling from Tokyo and wanted to know if I was interested in the stock market and trading. (I live in Sweden, btw.)
Re:So do what I do (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Snail-mail spam (Score:2, Funny)
Re:They are asking for trouble..... (Score:3, Funny)
(humming along, a happy tune in my heart)
- Weird Al Yankovic feat. Ben Folds on piano, "Why Does This Always Happen To Me" (Poodle Hat, 2003)Re:Bring on the junk snail mail .. (Score:3, Funny)
The Post Office was not amused.
Note -- if you try this, be sure to get bills and other important correspondence sent to a PO box
Re:Waste their Precious Time (Score:2, Funny)
Re:RReaahh (Score:5, Funny)
I didn't want to talk to you anyway...