Hormel Sues Over SpamArrest Name

slammin'j writes "According to this article from the Star Tribune, Hormel has filed a lawsuit against Spam Arrest LLC. for endangering "substantial goodwill and good reputation" of their meat product, Spam. If Hormel wins, it could be bad news for umpteen companies that make use of the word spam in their name."

Good reputation?

[chill]

Spam? Good reputation? Ha! That stuff has been the butt of jokes as longs as I can remember! Who are they kidding?

it's about time...

[Donut2099]

that someone came up with some software to keep that pink canned monstrosity of a luncheon meat out of my cupboard... oh wait, they are talking about email? nevermind

ick.

[sweeney37]

endangering "substantial goodwill and good reputation" of their meat product

Don't they already endanger the goodwill and "good" reputation by calling it a "meat product"?

Mike

seriously?

[KaizerWill]

so are we going to change our name for junk email now?

lets call it McRibs...

FUD!

[catdevnull]

Of course, this begs the question that Hormel's Spam *has* a good name already!

so many ways around it

[AssFace]

They could get around it the same way that I used to avoid reserved words in programming - use all swears.
Instead of "Spam Arrest" they could just change their names to "Fuck Shitters" or "Explosive Ass Mansion" (I am fully aware that the second example only had one swear in it, and two non-swear words - but I thought it sounded like a good company name - or a new ride at Disney).

Another option would be to just flail on the keyboard and then do a quick search to see if that is anywhere on the net - if not - bingo!
For instance, they could go with the name ";oasdguos " which might not be as easy to remember, but I think over time it could grow on you like a cancerous tumor (which could also be their new ad campaign).

If all else fails, we can just resort to all numbers.
Their new name, from this day forward would be "Comapny 16843329" - not to be confused with 16843328 or 16843330 which make coat hangers and tampons respectively.

I should probably not say anymore since as it is, I've said too much and feel that perhaps a consulting fee is in order.

In other news...

[mikeophile]

The makers of Underwood Devilled Ham has today leveled a lawsuit at the Devil over concern that the public might become confused or think that Underwood endorses the Devil and His products.

Spokesdemons for the Devil scoffed at the allegations, saying "Good luck finding an attorney who isn't already on the Dark Lord's retainer."

Re:ick.

[TexVex]

How 'bout we sidestep the issue by no longer calling junk email "spam". Instead, we can call it "whore mail". That wouldn't violate Hormel in any way at all, would it?

Re:SPAM IS good...

[errxn]

We actually had a "SPAM Acronym" contest one day. The winner, hands down, was:

Some
Po'
Ass
Muthafucka'

Re:Good reputation?

[Fishstick]

That's why the amount they are seeking is $0.98

It comes as no surprise they're taken by surprise

[autosentry]

When you consider that SPAM has been manufactured since World War II--probably one of the few items from that era that you can find in a 24-hr convenience store (barring, say, pocket combs, nail clippers, and chewing gum)--it's *almost* understandable that Hormel would just now be waking up to the fact that their product is being maligned. Someone should tell them that we won the war, also.

Re:Good reputation?

[Anonymous Coward]

It's also the butt of a lot of other things.

Simple Solution

[BurritoWarrior]

Start calling unsolicited commercial email Firebird.

Re:Good reputation?

[nacturation]

Didn't it keep the Russian army alive/well fed in WW2?

Alive? Maybe. Well fed? You gotta be kidding!

Re:ick.

[st0rmshad0w]

Hormail?

Re:seriously?

[Danse]

Yeah, what's the Klingon word for spam??

Re:To late foo!

[aardvarkjoe]

Timothy is looking for investors for his new "SPAM spam" company, which will use bulk e-mail in order to sell canned ham products. He believes that this lawsuit might have an impact on the confidence of his investors.

Re:Good reputation?

[Pig Hogger]

Didn't it keep the Russian army alive/well fed in WW2?

Hmmm. This would be a good explanation for the Cold War...

Re:Good reputation?

[Anonymous Coward]

Because Hawaiians will eat all sorts of nasty stuff, and if they are particularly fond of something, they'll find a way to worship it too.

Re:Pork vs. Ham

[FunkSoulBrother]

Ok dude, you expect me to believe that there is some magical animal that contains both pork and ham?

I suppose next you'll be telling me that pork is bacon too?

Re:so many ways around it

[Motherfucking Shit]

Instead of "Spam Arrest" they could just change their names to "Fuck Shitters"

Dear AssFace,

I am writing to you as an agent of Slashdot user Motherfucking Shit, sole owner of copyright to the mark "Motherfucking Shit."

It has come to my attention that your recent Slashdot post makes use of the terms "Fuck" and "Shit" in close proximity. My client, the esteemed Motherfucking Shit, has taken great pains to establish a reputable presence on Slashdot, and it is our position that your use of the term "Fuck Shitters" is confusingly similar to Motherfucking Shit's intellectual property.

I hereby request that you immediately cease and desist all usage of the term "fuck shitters."

Regards,

Sleazebag J. Sleazebag III, Esq.
The Law Firm of Bend, Emover, and Screw

Sagan

[jhampson]

Reminds me of the "Sagan" chip that was in a prototype Amiga. Engineers had meant it as homage to the great Carl Sagan. Well, ol' Carl demanded payment for his name. They renamed it instead, to BHA. When Sagan found out it stood for "Butt-headed Astronomer", he sued them saying that BHA was "defamatory". He lost the case.

Re:Good reputation?

[Marc2k]

Incorrigable! They're the SCO of the processed meat industry!

Re:Good reputation?

[Larsing]

I bet to the British, Monty Python's skit about the person who doesn't want SPAM was funny because they couldn't believe there was someone that actually didn't like SPAM.

Yes, to the British.
The rest of the civilized world loaths it because it is made from sub-standard, machanically recovered meat that no nutritionally aware person in their right mind would even feed to their dog (not that it'd eat it, anyway). The same goes for corned beaf...

Sorry if I offended any of you Brits? I like your beer though...

Butthead Astronomer

[sacrilicious]

Back around 1994 Apple was developing a crop of new machines, which all had code names internally. One of them was code-named "Carl Sagan". Carl Sagan found out about this and made angry noise (perhaps he should have bought a higher grade of weed to smoke) so the Apple hardware team renamed the project "Butthead Astronomer".

Maybe we could re-coin "spam" something like "litigious sh*tloaf".

Re:RTFA

[Marc2k]

The only cool part of that article is the space-age 3D blueprint of what SPAM looks like behind the scenes.

Re:Good reputation?

[AndroidCat]

Well, if spam would taste better -- and be better for you

The trick is that you don't just suck on a brick of it. Stir-fry with veggies and teriyaki sauce or a zillion other recipes. And if you still don't like SPAM, a can in the cupboard can keep you going for ages just like Dwarf bread. (Discworld joke.)

Re:Good reputation?

[AndroidCat]

What?! They're claiming that there's bits of SPAM in every other processed meat? Ewww!

Re:Oh for pete's sake

[nacturation]

Now honestly, apart from college students (and most of them probably prefer Ramen noodles), who actually eats spam regularly? Don't they realize that people might hear the term, see their can on the grocery store shelf and think "oh, so that's what it was named for... wonder what it tastes like?"

I think the last thing I want to do after receiving spam about a farm girl fucking a horse with a 31 inch cock is to go and eat an unknown meat product.

A Once in A Lifetime Opportunity

[Greyfox]

Lets all show up in the courthouse dressed as vikings. Whenever one of the attourneys says the word "spam" we can all burst into song! "Spamspamspamspam spamspamspamspam..."

Re:so many ways around it

[InvertedNippleFellat]

All previous references to "Fuck Shitters" should be replaced with the name of "Inverted Nipple Fellatio"

Dear AssFace,

...Oh, fuck, nevermind :)

Re:To late foo!

[fobbman]

I think that I could argue quite successfully that the majority of unsolicited emails that I receive probably originated from a pig's ass as well, so I can see the connection.

Re:Too late foo!

[zapfie]

Maybe I should trademark the letter 'E'.

rk.. havn't you hard? Thr's alrady a tradmark on that lttr. B carful man.. you don't wanna gt sud for copyright infringmnt..

I can't help myself

[HarveyBirdman]

"substantial goodwill and good reputation" of their meat product

I wish my meat had substantial goodwill and good reputation.

I'm sorry, but I simply could not resist. I will now stoically accept my modding down like a man.

Re:To late foo!

[WarmBoota]

--

"Ulch - that meat was tainted! You feel deathly sick."

--------------

Is is just me, or is that sig in - er - bad taste considering the current topic?

Re:from what department?

[Runagate Rampant]

isnt-that-horse department?

Re:McDonalds in hawaii

[JVert]

Wifey and I to hawaii for our honeymoon. The McDonalds there had a breakfast spam meal. We were curious, but decided against it.

Spam has some very beneficial uses, in fact I have the montey python mp3 linked on my desktop incase a telemarketer calls. When they ask for the man of the house I ask them to hold and place the phone by my speaker. I've only done it twice but the last time I would pick the phone up and ask "Did he pick up yet? no, gosh i'll find him for you" and set it down, almost had him listen to the whole thing, dont know how long the first person stayed. I should record the conversation on the answering machine. Another great tactic if you dont have the clip handy is just start screaming into the air SPAM! while they are making their pitch, dont yell into their ears its more fun to listen to them crack up during their speech.

And by the way, good job honeywell! you'll rights to the spam trademark when this is over.

Re:Good reputation?

[Ralph Wiggam]

"Nikita Khrushchev later credited it with the survival of the otherwise starving Russian army"

Holy crap.
If the Russian troops don't have Spam and starve, the Nazis take Moscow and Russia falls. If Russia falls then the Nazis focus on Britain and it falls. Without Spam, Hilter might have conquered the whole world. I have a new respect for it.

"Because it was unaffected by meat rationing..."

Maybe that should tell people something about its contents.

-B

Re:Good reputation?

[titzandkunt]

"And if you still don't like SPAM, a can in the cupboard can keep you going for ages just like Dwarf bread.

Something along the lines of "I'm hungry, but for the love of God, I'm not that hungry." Repeat that thought process until something better than SPAM is available.

T&K.

Re:Too late foo!

[Valdrax]

Don't worry. You'll be(TM) just fine(TM) so long as you re(TM)me(TM)mbe(TM)r to de(TM)note(TM) the(TM) fact that it's trade(TM)marke(TM)d. Se(TM)e(TM)? Isn't that e(TM)asy? The(TM)re(TM)'s no ne(TM)e(TM)d to re(TM)nde(TM)r me(TM)ssage(TM)s ille(TM)gible(TM) by de(TM)le(TM)ting le(TM)tte(TM)rs.

You are mistaken.-

[hndrcks]

Our product isn't called 'Spam Arrest'.

It's called 'Spa - Mar - Rest'. Cleans those nasty heelmarks off your Jacuzzi - like magic!

Re:Good reputation?

[Fishstick]

Right you are:

Mrs. Bun: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam, egg, sausage and spam. That's not got much spam in it.
Mrs. Bun: I don't want any spam!
Mr. Bun: Why can't she have egg, bacon, spam and sausage?
Mrs. Bun: That's got spam in it.
Mr. Bun: It hasn't got as much spam in it as spam, egg, sausage and spam has it?
Mrs. Bun: I don't like spam!
Mr. Bun: Shh dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam.
Waitress: Shut up! Baked beans are off.
Mr. Bun: Well, can I have her spam instead of the baked beans?