FTC Moves up "Do Not Call" List Registration

tbase writes "AdAge.com has an article about the new FTC "Do-Not-Call" List which will be opening for registrations earlier than previously announced. The FTC Press Release says online registration will be available "on or around July 1." and that "Companies will face an $11,000 fine for each telemarketing call that violates the FTC's new consumer-protection provisions.""

How about a do not spam list?

[Anonymous Coward]

$11,000 per spam would be nice for me. I'd quit my job and just post my email address all over the intarweb.

Do-Not-Mail

[Manic Ken]

Can I sign up on the Do-Not-Mail list?

In Addition:

[Jonsey]

Also, the US government reccomended that citizens begin using their phone-based registration system: Allowing the government to levy a $11,000 tax on all who wish to be added to the do not call list.

If this were for e-mail...

[DreadSpoon]

The gov't would call us up offering the service, to block telemarketers! /me deletes another "block unwanted spam" message from his INBOX...

Stunning

[TopShelf]

Even if they are following in the footsteps of many state governments, this is an astoundingly good thing. The list here in Indiana has worked remarkably well.

The only change I'd make would be to forgo the fines in favor of treating telemarketers as "enemy combatants."

DO NOT CALL ME!

[Anonymous Coward]

ever! I HATE PHONE CALLS! ALL OF THEM! especially pesky TELEMARKETERS! THEY ARE THE SUCK! If you call me i will hunt u down. I SWEAR IT! BY THE POWER OF GREY SKULL ILL KICK UR ASS! and dont think cuz i made heman refference i cant kick ur ass. I could totally kick ur ass, even while watching heman and chewing beef jerky.

11.000 $ for ..

[teemu.s]

one false call .. you can afford lots telephone sex calls for that ..

Happy Dude

[hoopyfroodman]

"Greetings, friends. Do you wish to look as happy as me? Well, you've got the power inside you right now. So use it and send one dollar to Happy Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield. Don't delay. Eternal happiness is just a dollar away." 'Happy Dude' Well, I guess Homer's marketing scam won't work anymore.... drats! There goes my retirement plan. :(

Re:Do-Not-Mail

[Manic Ken]

I tell you what, I was hoping to get a positive mod a la funny.

Re:Do-Not-Mail

[dreamchaser]

We need to get the UN to enact anti-spam resolutions! They can send inspectors in to verify that all ISP's are complying even! I hear that Hans Blix is looking for work...

I want on a "Please Call Me" list

[L. VeGas]

It gets kind of lonely here in my basement playing Quake and massaging my mom's feet.

Hello

[Anonymous Coward]

Hello, thank you for calling me. Pay $11,000. Goodbye, eat a dick, and have a nice day.

Re:Why $11,000?

[mhore]

11,000 shall be the number, and 11,000 shall the number be. 10,999 is too low, and not the number, and 11,001 is right out.

Re:Do-Not-Mail

[Manic Ken]

I dont know what to say.....it's so stupid.
I dont want spam and neither does most people I know!

Logistics ...

[SuperDuG]

Okay, is this going to be like every other governmental agency that comes up with a great idea that will have a three year backlog on complaints. And even if it's not, is there a set definition of "solicitced" phone call.

If you want to get really technical about it, unless you request someone call you, every phone call is unsolicited. I understand the argument about how if you give someone your phone number then you are granting them basic permissions to call you, but unless you unlist your phone number it has to be assumed that your number is not only public, but an invitation for you to be called.

For every policy/law/order/decree there is a loophole or a way to get around it. Just a matter or time before this becomes nullified.

I am not going to be adding myself to this list for the main reason that I love telemarketers. I actually had a gentleman call me last week.

Telemarketer: Yes may I please speak to Doug.

ME: May I ask who's calling please?

TM: This is bob calling about an offer Doug just can't refuse

ME: I don't think he can, Doug killed himself yesterday , it was so sad he had gone to college and then dropped out to be a professional rollerblader and then after a horrible drunk driving accident he broke his left leg, needless to say his skating career was over. He needed money to pay off all the medical bills so he got a job as a telemarketer selling the stupidest things over the phone and trying his best to make his quota for the night so that he could make it home to shoot up and stop the pain. Day after day he would go to work and realize how low he had sunk and truly began to question his worthiness to society as a whole. I guess he finally realized he was worthless and ate a 12 gauge shotgun shell. Messy as hell, but effective, we're still actually trying to figure out how to clean it all up. And all that just because he had a lousy job as a telemarketer.

*click*

Don't know how effective it is, but think of it like as an invited prank phone call where you can fuck with them all day long. Tell them you want to buy all there stuff and give the credit card number of 8888-8888-8888-8888, which you know is your number because you ordered one off of the TV and that's the number that was on it. Or just really play with their heads, tell them you want them to seduce you into buying their product or role play with them, have them call you mr moneybags or something. Ask them out on a date or something, have some real fun, these people abosultely hate their job, trust me, and you can only make it worse for them.

Don't feel guilty, they called you ... remember?

Re:I want on a "Please Call Me" list

[gid]

What's your number? Post it here, we'll slashdot your phone for you.

Re:A sigh of relief

[ebh]

The worst suggestive sell: I went to one of the Big Three Burger Chains once, ordered my heart attack on a plate, and the poor sod behind the counter asked, as he was required to do, "Would you like HOT CRISPY FRIES with that?" No, I want COLD SOGGY FRIES, just like I got the last time I was here.

Business idea

[pubjames]

Here's an idea:

1) Buy a big block of telephone numbers and direct them all to a single telephone
2) Put them all on the "do not call" list
3) But phone by swimming pool. Sit in pool with cool drink.
4) Wait...
5) Profit!

Re:Do-Not-Mail

[Anonymous Coward]

Will there be a fine for those companies who violates the list You referred to(dmaconsumers(slashdotted))

Good God - someone who talks in LISP!

How to make a telemarketer go away

[GillBates0]

When they call & ask to speak with Mr. Stevens, I explain they want the "other Mr. Stevens". As I hand the phone to my son, I tell him to explain all the fun things he did that day, from the detailed slimey booger he picked & where he wiped it, to his favorite & most proud stories about "pooping in the toilet." He is so proud of the shapes he can make. Usually after a few minutes of running around on the cordless phone explaining how proud he was with the details of his day, he comes back & says" they hung up". Imagine the rudeness of some people.....Go figure. More here [geocities.com]

hmm...

[Cynikal]

"Companies will face an $11,000 fine for each telemarketing call that violates the FTC's new consumer-protection provisions."

now i wonder if theres any way to extend that to inlaws and ex-girlfriends?

Hidden Law....

[Tsali]

Yeah, but in a similar bill passed by the House of Representatives this week, the companies get a $12,000 tax break for each offense.

(Fiction can be fun...)

You could try this ...

[Bake]

You: *Ring*Ring* "Hello?"

Telemarketer: "Good evening sir, would you be interested in a pre-approved credit card?"

Y: "Listen, buddy, I'm on the FTC's Do-not-call list. The offense for calling someone on that list is an $11000 fine."

T: "..... oh ..."

Y: "Now, I might be able to let this one slide for a special fee of $5000, thus saving you and your company some $6000. Interested?"

Re:Logistics ...

[suds]

I live in UK and most of the calls I recieve are related to double glazing. I got so tired of them started to get back to them in a novel way..here is my typical conversion.

TM: Hello, could I speak to the house owner please?
ME: Speaking..
TM: We can replace all your windows for less than 1500 GBP.
ME:Oh! thats very interesting..so you sell windows?
TM: Yes..
ME: I am in window glass manufacturing business. Would you be interested in bying the glass from us? I will do a very good deal for you...

*Click*

and I just laugh and laugh and laugh..

Re:Do-Not-Mail

[Anonymous Coward]

Then, after the UN does jack-shit for 12 years (besides taking payola from the spammers) we can send in the Marines to kill them.

Come on, the religious nuts are FUN!

[siskbc]

Damn, my doorbell just rang, I bet somebody wants to witness with me something about their God...

See, that's where you have fun, with the religious nuts. Have a knife covered with fake blood at the door. Tell them they're just in time to help sacrifice the virgin.

Or open it wearing an outfit like The Gimp in Pulp Fiction. Tell them they're just in time for "Punishment Phase."

Or, if you're bald, put on a white robe and try to convert THEM...very calmly.

Or just point a watergun at them and shoot them every time they try to talk. The madder they get, the more you shoot!

Or answer the door nude. See if they can look you in the eye as you converse about the finer points of being a Jehovah's Witness. Ask them if their religion bans nudity.

See, there's lots you can do to get some enjoyment outta them!

DO NOT CALL ME! (Corrected version)

[Anonymous Coward]

evar!!!11 I H8T PHOEN CALS!!!!211 ALLO F THEM!!!!!11 especaly pesky TELLEMARKETARS!!!!111 THEY ARE TEH SUCK!!!111 If yu call me i will hunt u down I SWAER IT!!!111 BY TEH POWAR OF GREY SKULL ILL KICK UR ASS!!1111 and dont think cuz i made heman refference i cant kick ur ass i could totally kick ur ass even while watching heman and chewing beef jerky

Re:How about a do not spam list?

[Rai]

I'd prefer a no-spam list over a no-call list. I can always waste the telemarketer's time (let them go thru their entire pitch and then say something like "What's that? Could you speak up a little?") and cost the telemarketing company money. As I've said before, if enough people did this, there would be no need for a do-not-call list.

Spam, however, offers little or no means of retaliation. So I just start praying...

"Merciful Lord, look down upon your humble servant and strike down the heathen company which seeks to increase the size of my privates and undo your good work. Rain tumors and boils upon them and cause their Exchange servers to crash."

Re:How about a do not spam list?

[AstroDrabb]

Sounds like a good plan.

1. Sue and get paid $11,000 USD
2. Pay out $15,000 USD in legal fees
3. ???
4. Profit

You have to love the US legal system!

Re:Logistics ...

[xTown]

It can backfire. I got a call once from a magazine salesman and when he asked me what magazines I liked to read, I said "I don't read too much...since the accident. I just can't get used to using Braille." He said, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear that" and ended the call.

I now receive solicitations from blindness organizations.

Re:I want on a "Please Call Me" list

[JUSTONEMORELATTE]

What's your number? Post it here, we'll slashdot your phone for you.

303-499-7111. Call now for a REALLY good time

--

Re:Do-Not-Mail

[Lord Dimwit Flathead]

hell dig a hole in the ground and crawl inside. it's your land you s/b free to do that. people won't come knocking on the entrance of your underground hole to "bother" you or steal your precious resources.

I dunno, man. Those Jehova's Witnesses are pretty persistent.

My Answering Machine...

[RPI Geek]

... does all the work for me. Here it is:
Machine: "Hello?"
I just let the people talk until they realize I'm not actually on the phone. One time this telemarketer called - one of the ones that just start talking at full speed and don't let you interrupt - and talked for 3 or 4 minutes to the machine whlie we sat and listened while eating dinner. After she had finished talking she asked, "so all I need at this point is to verify that you are over the age of 18... Hello?.. If you don't want to talk just f***ing hang up!" - click.
I only wish I had saved the message to call them back and tell them how their foul-mouthed representative had raped my virgin ears and that I would never buy anything from them :)

Re:Salesmen, speak up! What about cold calling?

[Anonymous Coward]

So you're the guy who keeps calling me. Here is a hint - I only put my business card in the bowl at COMDEX to get the free t-shirt. I am not really interested in your product/services.

Re:How about a do not spam list?

[jonadab]

> i have better things to do...

I prefer to just say something along the lines of "can you explain
that in detail?" and then gently set the phone down on the counter
and go do something else for a while.

Re:How about a do not spam list?

[jonadab]

This is why you start a class action suit. If you can get a few
hundred thousand people to go in on it, the $11000 per call starts
to sound like real money, enough to pay some legal fees almost.
Then your lawyers agree to settle out of court, take their cut,
and leave you with $1.50 for each plaintiff, which still isn't
much, but it's a positive number.

Re:Come on, the religious nuts are FUN!

[siskbc]

Reply to everything they say, but answer in either
# A foreign language
# Jibberish
# Elvish, or
# Klingon

I dunno man...if you can actually converse in Elvish and Klingon, you have far bigger problems than the JW on your front step.

Re:Do-Not-Mail

[Drachemorder]

"Those Jehova's Witnesses are pretty persistent."

You can get rid of them, too. Just draw a chalk outline of a body outside your door/cave/whatever, and scatter some JW pamphlets around. Then you can sleep all day if you want to.

Re:How about a do not spam list?

[TCaptain]

better yet, just say "Yes, I'm VERY interested...can you hold one sec?" and hit the hold button.

One telemarketter stayed on hold for 15 mins. Called back twice and stayed on hold again 15 mins each time.

And don't forget ...

[Kjella]

Y: "Now, I might be able to let this one slide for a special fee of $5000, thus saving you and your company some $6000. Interested?"

T: "Umm, that was expensive"

Y: "Well, if you don't have the money right now you can pay it in ten _easy_ installments of only $500 at a miniscule interest rate of 1,25% per month plus fees"

T: "I'll have to take it up with the manager"

Y: "Deal now and I'll give you a special price worth $100, deducted from your charge. Special offer, just for you my friend!"

T: "Oh, really. That's a deal then"

Kjella

Re:Do-Not-Mail

[maxpublic]

tell me the time or to tell me to fuck off

It's 12:45 p.m. And fuck off, already.

Max