U.S. National Do-Not-Call Registry On the Way?

WinkyN writes "Yay! The U.S. House of Representatives overwhelmingly passed a measure that creates a national "do not call" list for telemarketers. Telemarketers are required to check the list every three months and can be fined up to $11,000 each time they violate the law. Now I won't have to ignore my telephone when it rings since more than 50 percent of my calls are from telemarketers." Congress is just getting around to passing a budget bill to run the government for fiscal year 2003 (started last October), and we're now in the time period when everything and the kitchen sink gets thrown into it just before it passes. Good to know that there's at least one useful piece of legislation.

Too bad

[ouslush]

I knew I shouldn't have spent $40 buying that damn Telezapper [telezapper.com]

won't change my life.

[Joe the Lesser]

"Now I won't have to ignore my telephone when it rings since more than 50 percent of my calls are from telemarketers."

I've been in the practice of avoiding my telephone regardless of the caller.

Finally America's voice has been heard

[jmacleod9975]

Yea, Now all they need to do is get around to a do not e-mail list, and fixing the patent office, and maybe even get their lips off of Mickey's ass, and allow copyrights to expire.

NYS Do Not Call Registry

[Shant3030]

I signed up for the NY State "Do Not Call" registry, and it has been a success. I rarely receive telemarketing calls and when I do I love saying something like...

"Excuse me, I am on the Do Not Call list and if you continue calling this number, I will be forced to contact the proper authorities who will prosecute your company to the fullest extent of the law".

Might not make a whole lot of sense, but its fun to hear the scared telemarketers apologize and hang up.

50 percent, huh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Now I won't have to ignore my telephone when it rings since more than 50 percent of my calls are from telemarketers.

WEEKLY RAW DATA:

2 CALLS- Telemarketers
1 CALL- His Mom
1 CALL- Wrong Number

But I love telemarketers

[Adam Rightmann]

Whenever they call me, I ask if they're willing to end their sinful ways and return to the True Church. [vatican.va]

Of course, since telemarketers are a tool of Satan, they instantly hang up.

PA's works

[jpsst34]

I signed up in Pennsylvania on the first day it was available last August. In PA, they sell the list of blocked numbers to telemarketers on a quarterly basis. I was told that I would see a dramatic drop in telmarketing calls After Novermber 1, 2002. This is in fact what happened. It's been nearly 4 months, and I haven't received a single telemarketing call.

Re:Is this a widespread problem?

[Anonymous Coward]

If you buy their product, you would pay them in Canadian currency. That is deterring the telemarketers.

i don't receive telemarketer calls anymore!

[quick9vb]

My telephone line went dead about 6 months, but my DSL still works. After a few days of peace and quiet I decided I had no reason to call BellSouth to get it fixed.

Re:"one good law"?

[teamhasnoi]

It violates the ninth, tenth, and first amendments. How is that a good law?

Please post your phone number and we will all tell you.

Favorite Telemarketer Reponses

[Limburgher]

"Thanks, but I was saved at the office."

"Thanks, but if you'll check your records, I already HAVE your long distance. (click)"

"Nigeria, you say? Let me get my checkbook."

"Sorry, but I'm illiterate and proud of it, so I won't be needing magazines."

"No, but would you like to buy my 1992 Chevy Cavalier? Low, low miles!"

And, my favorite. . .

"Sorry, we don't have a phone. (click)"

Ever try talking sexually to them? No more ;)

[digitalgimpus]

to get rid of a telemarketer:

"Hey there ____, would you like to help get me off"

- No

"Why don't you pitch your product while I undress"

- uh

"Mmm that's better.... Now what are you wearing? Or not wearing?"

- excuse me!

"Ohh, Ahh..... Yes! Yes!"

(if still on the phone)

"Damn, forgot to tell you... I have herpies and AIDS, hope you don't mind"

[i]if heterosexual, and your a man:[/i]
"Damn, is Bin Laden hanging out in there, that's one cave that many men can hide in. How many men did it take to get like that?"

[i]if heterosexual, and your a women:[/i]
"I'm pregnant, when can I get my first check?"

[i]if homosexual conversation (man man, women women):[/i]

If they still don't hang up:

"PERVERT!"

Works every time.

Re:"Take me off your list"

[Anonymous Coward]

"Would you like to fuck me up the ass?" works pretty well too.

I'll miss the calls, actually

[mao che minh]

I for one was learning to enjoy the deluge of late night calls and the oppurtunities for abuse that they offerred. If the caller is a woman, I always just start hitting on her and ignore eveything she says until she hangs up. I will also repeatedly ask her "what are you wearing", ignoring all other statements other then those concerning her dress. As soon as she tells me what she's wearing, I thank her and hang up.

If the caller is a man, I keep responding to their sales pitches with sensless phrases like "Remember the Alamo" or start reading to them whatever book I was currently reading when they called. I'll miss these good times.

maybe OT: Guy that plays with telemarketers?

[gsfprez]

I once heard this guy on Howard Stern who recorded his sessions with telemarketers and he'd jerk them around.

One was a call from a carpet cleaning telemarketer. He told them that he had a _lot_ of blood all over the carpet, and the he wanted to know if they could come over in an hour... or sooner.

Howard said that it was a CD on sale.

i swear, i googled for it. Can't find it.

Re:a small change

[0x20]

Actually I'd be just as happy if it went to support enforcement of the law - legal fees, court fees, international hitmen for those offshore spammers, things like that.

Re:Be careful what you wish for

[Anonymous Coward]

Sorry - here at Slashdot we will ALWAYS find something more to preach/bitch about!

Favorite telemarketer response

[Anonymous Coward]

I think Seinfeld said it best

"I'm sorry but I'm kind of busy right now, how about
you give me your home phone number and I'll call you
back when I'm at work."

Re:50 percent, huh?

[liquidsin]

I don't think his mom shouting down the stairs "Come on up from the basement now and brush your teeth before beddy time!" qualifies as a phone call.

Re:Too bad

[Psmylie]

Whistling? I just scream loudly and continually until the telemarketer hangs up. Doesn't decrease my volume of calls, though... but why would I want it to? It's so fun!

Re:National Do Not Email list is needed

[nickclarke]

"In order to show your support for the national do-not-email list, please forward this message to at least 10 people"

A better solution than do-not-call lists

[cheezfreek]

I have a much better solution to being annoyed by telemarketers. Well over half the calls my wife and I get are from her mother (4 times a day is unfortunately not out of the ordinary for her, as she essentially has no life). Now that this has been going on for a few years, I'm elated when I answer the phone and don't hear her voice. Even when it's a telemarketer. Telemarketers at least have a purpose for their mindless prattle, unlike my mother-in-law. I now consider telemarketers to be my best phone buddies. Problem solved.

Re:won't change my life.

[telstar]

I've been in the practice of avoiding my telephone regardless of the caller.

• That explains
• a lot [slashdot.org].

I, too, worked as a telemarketer...

[medscaper]

I did this same thing for a DAY in Fort Dodge, Iowa, back in 1990, when I was in need of money. It was SO sad. They gave us STACKS of printouts with lists of people who had been sent a complimentary copy of "Heavy Truck & Machine Trader".

It was just cold-calling, for the new guys like me. The subscription cost was $390 a year, and it was just like the Auto Trader you see at the Stop-n-Robs these days.

The sad thing was that they got their lists from DMV of people or organizations who had a semi or trailer combo registered. So, this got me into lots of screaming tirades from "customers" who were people like the church with the old broken down church bus in back that hadn't run in years or Goodwill, for crying out loud, because of their trailers. On my first day, though, I got 17 subscriptions filled. My boss was FLOORED. A good day was like...2 subscriptions. You got a $50 bonus for every subscription. So, when I handed her all the subscription cards, she flipped, and demanded to know why I was lying and forging subscription slips.

Oh, dear. So, I get escorted from the room with security while she calls each and every one of my "subscribers" to very rudely verify ("Do you realize HOW MUCH THIS WILL COST YOU every year??!" to the customers) each of them. Turns out that when she called them, they were each pissed about getting two calls in one day from someone they didn't want to talk to in the first place, and they all cancelled except two of them. Then, they played back the recordings of some of my conversations and discovered that I used the word "renew" with each of the customers, which, apparently we weren't EVER supposed to do... I was fired for "not being copmpletely honest". So, there is some honesty amongst telemarketers, and I got screwed out of any commission - even the ones who really did want the subscription, which is totally understandable. I screwed the pooch a bit on that one, but I found the language that made people buy, and used it.

The only fun thing I did in my work day was when I realized that I was calling an area in Washington State in which I had an uncle I hadn't talked to in awhile. He was a cabinet maker, and I had worked for him for a few months in the summers, so I knew his shop and his machinery, well. I called and his wife (the nicest lady you'd ever meet) answered. I gave her my usual droning speech from my card, and she politely refused, but thanked me. Then she hung up. I called back, and, determined to have some fun, started pointing out that we had his records and knew what machinery he had (started listing them for her) and that several were in need of updating (which they were) and wouldn't this be "lovely" gift for her husband. She again refused and hung up.

I gave it about 30 seconds, and called back. She was starting to get steamed when I started talking about how they could extend the shop past that apple tree in the back and put in some newer compressors and that we had that 36" sander he'd been looking for in our magazine. She started getting nervous, and didn't even reply when she slammed the phone down.

On the FOURTH call, she REALLY showed her true colors. She cussed like a sailor, threatened to call the cops, threatened my life, called me all sorts of names, and screamed like a banshee until I said, "Hey, Aunt Patty. It's me!" She choked her fury down enough to call me a couple of choice names and then hung up on me.

Hey, I was 18. We all laugh about it, now...

I used to hate telemarketers.. but now I lovethem

[hoggoth]

I used to hate getting telemarketing calls. I bought a house recently so I got tons and tons of them.

Just recently however, I picked up the phone, heard the tell-tale delay before the poor-underpaid-hates-her-job-but-has-no-choice-but -to-annoy-people-all-day slob started her script. I was in a weird mood so instead of hanging up I decided to try and sell her a Chinchilla fur coat. Of course I don't HAVE any Chinchilla fur coats, but I still had a load of fun describing how you raise Chinchillas and make coats from their fur. I went on and on about how nice the telemarketer would look in one of my Chinchilla furs, and would she like to purchase one or at least receive my special promotional offers?

At first of course she knew/thought I was kidding. But I kept it up and wouldn't let her get a word in edgewise. I kept her on for 5 minutes before she gave up and thanked me and said goodbye.

Since then this has been my S.O.P.
I've made telemarkets angry, made then laugh out loud, confused some, but always had a good time instead of getting angry myself.
I've attempted to sell Chinchilla furs, luxury coffins, you name it.
One telemarketer had the wrong name so I got into a lengthy discussion about whether or not Jose is pronounced "Jo-Say" or "Josie" and stubbornly denied that "Ho-Say" is possible.

Try it!

Next on my hit list:
Every email spam is eventually tied to a real company selling a real product. I may not be able to automatically filter them all, but I sure can leave my autodialer hitting their 800 number all day while I am out!
Ooops!

This bill is a serious red herring

[bashibazouk]

Charities, surveys, calls on behalf of politicians, phone companies and any business you've done business with are exempt.

Which pretty much covers all the telemarketing calls I get.

Charities, Surveys and Politicians exempt

[Anonymous Coward]

I can already see the loopholes:

"Hello sir, I'm from the 'Windows to a better future' group. Did you know that our windows not only save on heating bills, but also a portion of proceeds goes to charity" (portion being 1c per gazillion dollars).

"Hello sir, we're doing a survey to see if you know how much a First Telemarketers Bank home loan can save you a month".

"Madam, I'm from the National Credit Card Party. We already own congress, now you can support us too".

Ah, loopholes, they're what makes the law go round.

"Surveys"

[jeremyhu]

Charities, surveys and calls on behalf of politicians would be exempt.

What is going to happen:

Telemarketer: Good evening sir, would you care to take a quick survey? (no pause for answer) How many times are you asking yourself, "Why do I pay so much for long distance?"? (no pause for answer) Have you ever considered switching your long distance provider to Megacorp? Did you know that Megacorp offers the lowest rates possible? Did you know that I could sign you up after we complete this survey? Well sir, thank you for taking this survey. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Re:won't change my life.

[Gojira Shipi-Taro]

As does this [slashdot.org].

Sorry, too obvious, nothing personal :)

Re:Are there exceptions?

[GreyPoopon]

and every other little thing MS has itself dug into starts calling me.

Well, I think the solution [debian.org] here [redhat.com] is [suse.com] obvious [openoffice.org].

Sorry, couldn't resist. :-)

My personal study on telemarketing.

[facelessnumber]

I get NO telemarketing calls EVER. You too can live like I do - Here's how...

Why They Call You:
You have (or they think you have) money. You bought something from one of their brethren before, or off the television, you bought a house, a car, got a bank loan of any type, or you signed up for a credit card. I did each of these things at least once in the span of six months. I was spammed relentlessly. I got about six to ten calls a day, no joke. But There Is A Way To Fix This.

Why They Don't Call:
You don't have (or they think you don't have) money. Bad Things happened to me that I won't go into here, but suffice it to say, my credit became horrendous. This was the beginning of my salvation from telemarketing. Rack up some debt on those cards, get your house foreclosed, cars reposessed, default on your loan(s), give back the goddamn Rainbow Vacuum Cleaner. Soon the telemarketers stop. They really do. They have no interest in you, and they are replaced entirely by pissed-off creditors.

There's one last step, the spider swallowed to catch the proverbial fly - You've liberated yourself from most of your other bills already, why not stop paying the phone bill too? The result is blissful silence, and with all of the money you've saved you can get a (prepaid of course) cell phone and start back over. Your credit score prevents you from making any of those foolish mistakes again, and telemarketers shun you like the plague.

My New Service

[Zordak]

I can't wait to start my new service. It's going to be a helpful organization that will make sure that you get added to the national DNC list, and your state's, if it has one, for a mere $50. I think I'll use e-mail to get the word out.

Re:Too bad

[MIRV]

Forget the United Way. I give through the federal and state government, about a 50% tithe. I dunno if the groups that get the money are worthy, though...