FTC Moves Forward With National Do-Not-Call List 505
netringer writes "The U.S. Federal Trade Commission is proposing some new regulations creating a national 'Do Not Call' list to keep US phones from being rung by telemarketers. Telemarketers who call a number on the list could be fined up $11,000. The new FTC rules also require that telemarketers have Caller ID enabled and limit abandoned 'hang up' calls from predictive dialers. The new rules have some loopholes, allowing calls from charities and businesses that have somehow gotten your permission or have done business with you before. The Direct Marketing Association is threatening to sue to save U.S. consumers from the potential loss of buying opportunities."
In Soviet Russia... (Score:2, Funny)
Finally! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Now (Score:4, Funny)
I'd love that. I'd report my address as *@*.*
Are these guys evil or what? (Score:4, Funny)
Good grief! Can you the ultimate evil company's board of directors?
CEO, EvilCo: Satan himself
VP of Intellectual Property, West Coast: Jack Valenti
VP of Intellectual Property, East Coast: Hilary Rosen
VP of Sales and Marketing: The Direct Marketing Association
CFO: David Skilling
VP of Getting Royally Screwed Every Time Shit Goes Down: The customer.
Misreading (Score:4, Funny)
Oh well... (Score:2, Funny)
Is it just me or... (Score:5, Funny)
"The Direct Marketing Association is threatening to sue to save U.S. consumers from the potential loss of buying opportunities." the funniest sentence ever?
"But we wanted to offer them a once in a lifetime chance!!!!!"
joke? (Score:1, Funny)
What
DON'T LOSE OUT! 847sjsj (Score:5, Funny)
The FTC is about to take away your ability to recieve great offers and buying opportunities through email.
Stop them before they stop you!
For a small donation of only $10, you can help fund the fight against unwanted government regulation in direct marketing.
Remember that only you can make a difference.
You have received this mail because you indicated that you wanted to receive promotional offers of this kind. If you no longer wish to receive mail like this, please click this link:
http://www.spamhaus.com/addressverifier.pl?adress
Thanks (Score:5, Funny)
Next: Stalker sues State for issuing restraining order, denying his ex-wife the opportunity to be harassed mercilessly.
Naah... (Score:4, Funny)
Translation... (Score:4, Funny)
"Hi, Fred here, from Fred's Aluminum Siding Non-Profit Shell Corporation and Charity. I'd like to talk to you about how 0.0001% of every purchase you make through us goes directly to feed starving, aluminum-siding-less children in South Africa..."
Why not? It works for companies that want to buy their own personal politician... Does anyone really suspect ANY sane politician (I didn't say "ethical", just "sane") would dare take a stand against a scheme that could turn around and attack their major source of campaign financing?
Capital One (Score:1, Funny)
AHA! (Score:3, Funny)
Perhaps you have something to HIDE????
6 months!!! (Score:2, Funny)
It is expected that once funding approval is received from Congress, it will take about four months to develop the system and another two months for phased-in registration before consumers will receive fewer unwanted telemarketing calls
Why does it take special funding and 4 months to set up a web page with a database behind it and then 2 months to get the data out to telemarketers?
Oh, that's right, the Federal Government is doing it. They could screw up running a brothel [mustangranch.org]
Re:You WANT snail mail spam. (Score:3, Funny)
anybody watch _kids in the hall_?
Re:Sueing on what basis (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Constitutional rights (Score:3, Funny)
Still, it's fun to tell the telemarketer that this is precisely what you were doing, and listen to them squirm.
TM (cheerfully): Hi, Mr. Yog, I'm Fred Loser from AT&T. How are you today?
You (panting slightly): Dammit, I was just having sex with my wife!
TM: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Is there a better time when I could call you back?
You: Well, you've already interrupted me. It's going to take a while to get worked up again.
TM (sounding uncomfortable): We'll call you back tomorrow; will you be home around this time?
You: I only answered because my great-uncle is in surgery right now; we're waiting to see if he survived the operation.
TM (running out of scripted responses): I'll call back another time.
You: No, I want to hear your entire sales pitch. (start panting heavily; in the background a woman starts moaning.)
TM: Uh...
etc.
my phone (Score:2, Funny)
We may actually be able to help them (Score:1, Funny)
Here's the legit way. (Score:3, Funny)
I always say -- (Score:5, Funny)
At first I thought this wouldn't work, but I've actually had a reduction in calls (that is, no repeats) and I almost always get apologies.
Here as of late I've just been having fun with the telemarketers, since they're not as frequent as they used to be.
RING
RING
ME: Hello?
HER: Yes, I'm with (she said the name of some glasswork and door company) and we're calling to see if you would be interested in new windows for your home. Have you considered having new windows installed?
ME: I don't have windows. I live in a dog house.
HER: *giggle* Very funny, sir.
ME: I don't think it's very funny at all.
HER:
ME: You think being homeless is funny?
HER: *CLICK*
Re:I always say -- (Score:3, Funny)
See, normally I ask to be placed on their do not call list. All companies have to maintain one and are required to obey it. Works pretty well. However, any company you have a bussiness relationship is exempt from that (since they may have legitimate reasons to call you) so hence asking Qwest would do no good.
Well Qwest had a big push for their DSL service and was calling everyone trying to get them to sign up. Fine, except I already HAVE DSL from them. Not only that, I have the expensive professional grade stuff and I've had it for like 3 YEARS now. It's not like they were trying to sell me an upgrade to it or anything (I pretty much have the best I can get), they were trying to sell me the service itself.
I had told them a couple of times before that I already had this and to please stop calling me about it as it was really pointless. So at any rate, I got sick of it and decided to have fun and told one guy that I didn't have a hpone line. He stared with teh typical "ok well thank you" speech for when teh customer has said no and then kinda trailed off when he processed what I had actually said.
They stopped calling about it
My approach (Score:2, Funny)
M: You're speaking w/ him
T: I'd like to tell you about our XYZ product...
M: This XYZ product sounds very interesting.
I'm a little busy at the moment though. Could I get your home number so I can call you back later to talk about it?
T: We can't give that information out sir.
M: Is it because you don't like being called at home by complete strangers?
T: *silence*
M: (click)