The Web's Longest Disclaimer 381
An anonymous reader writes "American Airlines are nominated for the 'longest website enduser agreement' category with customers requiring to accept this mammoth 'I accept' dialog before using their site. The tale of the tape includes: 181 paragraphs; 3482 words; and
22411 characters. However even mentioning this is probably in violation of the text."
Wow! (Score:5, Funny)
Heh (Score:5, Funny)
Heh... (Score:5, Funny)
Clicking "i do not agree" still brings you to the same page...
From the Website.... (Score:5, Funny)
Probably the first time in history that an airline had to close down due to slashdot.
Slashdotting Forbidden ! (Score:5, Funny)
O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure.
"So don't accept... (Score:5, Funny)
So I can still book a flight without agreeing to donate my firstborn to their catering department.
Andrew
I miss one paragraph (Score:5, Funny)
The Highlights (Score:5, Funny)
American Airlines specifically denies you permission to hyperlink or provide references to the Site
Oops. Sorry Slashdot.. You've been bad
American Airlines will not treat as confidential any communications you send to us by electronic mail or otherwise. American Airlines has no obligation to refrain from publishing, reproducing, or otherwise using your communications in any way and for any purpose.
Thank You for respecting my privacy
------------
An example of lawyers that don't understand technology
Download or upload files that may damage the operation of another's computer, such as computer viruses, corrupt files, or similar software
When was the last time you downloaded something that hurt a website
Ohh.. I'm sure there's more intresting stuff in there... And I'm also pretty damn sure it's not the longest EULA...
Re:The Highlights (Score:5, Funny)
>When was the last time you downloaded something that hurt a website
Um, about 10 seconds ago. It's called the slashdot effect.
You're not allowed to look at the site anyway.. (Score:5, Funny)
Or how about the fact that you must not: O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure. So no posting on Slashdot either!
Mimed by Airhostesses? (Score:5, Funny)
"Our trademarks and logos are protected *here* and *here*
That way everyone could click on the "I accept" after ignoring the whole thing with a clear conscience!
just hit "I do not accept" (Score:2, Funny)
Classic, funny disclaimer... (Score:5, Funny)
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free number before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. Known as Hellman's east of the Rockies. Beware of greeks bearing gifts. Beware of gifts bearing greeks. This side up. Don't take any wooden nickels. Don't take candy from strangers. Void where prohibited. Caveat Emptor (Buyer beware) Caveat Vendor (Beware of street people). Donde esta el bano. Beware of DOS. Look both ways before crossing the street. All your base are belong to us. Always wear safety belt. Always wear deodorant. Don't forget to breathe. If you park, don't drink...accidents cause people. This supersedes all previous notices.
This modified disclaimer may not be copied without the expressed written consent of whoever I stole it from.
But I haven't accepted the agreement yet so (Score:3, Funny)
Is it illegal if I haven't agreed? [aa.com]
What can they do to me [aa.com]
Why do they care if people link to them [aa.com]
What a load of rubbish [aa.com]
Sorry probably a waste of ones and zeroes but not as much as that dribble. The agreement says it is to protect your privacy while using the site but if you read the whole agreement they can do what ever they want with third parties, no recourse to tell you and the agreement can be changed at any time anyway. They aren't protecting privacy at all in that document in fact it looks pretty much like they have already sold their customers down the river and added a clause in the agreement that you can not sue them for anything that results from using the site, like the selling of personal information.
So the agreement should read
We can and will sell your information to third parties.
If you use this site you can not sue us.
It would be an easier read at that.
But the can't hyperlink clause is funny.
Readability (Score:2, Funny)
Block-right text and no paragraph breaks? It almost looks like a Slashdot comment...
--Jeremy
Holy Bullets Batman! (Score:4, Funny)
You know the EULA is too long when on a "you will not" clause, the bullets go all the way to the letter S
Slashdotting illegal! (Score:3, Funny)
...
O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure.
Timothy, take down that link!
Re:"So don't accept... (Score:5, Funny)
At least maybe then the food would be edible.
Slashdot article is in violation ! (Score:3, Funny)
Yep:
"You agree that you will not Misuse the Site. "Misuse" includes, but is not limited to, using the Site to do any of the following:
[..]
O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure."
- N.
Muahahahaha! (Score:2, Funny)
Pay lawyers $100,000 to write a perfect agreement but pay a web master only $200 and the whole things goes to hell.
hook
Re:Disclaimer (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Classic, funny disclaimer... (Score:5, Funny)
here's the kicker. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Highlights (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Jesus, enough already! (Score:3, Funny)
And on that day Satan will be skating to work...
Another classic Disclaimer (Score:3, Funny)
and those of my employer, my terminal, or the view out
my window are purely coincidental. Any resemblance
between the above and my own views is non-deterministic.
The question of the existence of views in the absence
of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the
reader. The question of the existence of the reader
is left as an exercise for the second god coefficient.
(A discussion of non-orthogonal, non-integral polytheism
is beyond the scope of this article.)
Apologies to whoever I stole it from.
We are all going to jail... (Score:2, Funny)
Why this story made it to /. (Score:5, Funny)
DDoSing aa.com? (Score:2, Funny)
Does DDoSing their site violate their EULA? (-:
No really. With a *strict* EULA like that, wich no person with any sense at all would ever agree to, it really can't be accounted for as wasting their bandwidth or resources. More like saving potential customers the time it takes to read crap like this.
toilet paper printer? (Score:4, Funny)
Run! /. has violated the agreement (Score:5, Funny)
Easy way to read EULAs... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Wow! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:I miss one paragraph (Score:5, Funny)
Interesting read (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Verisign has them beat... (Score:3, Funny)
Verisign has them beat by a long shot.
Yeah, but that's a service agreement. Somehow I think this stuff is much more absurd as a contract you have to accept before they allow you to use their #^#$@#%^ webpage . And then if you refuse, they allow you to use their webpage.
Re:They wrote it for a reason (Score:3, Funny)
How refreshing... (Score:4, Funny)
The Web's Shortest Disclaimer (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Try not accepting. (Score:2, Funny)
Probably they put all their efforts into the content of the EULA and have no ressources left to implement the button handlers.
Re:toilet paper printer? (Score:1, Funny)
me
Re:here's the kicker. (Score:2, Funny)
I mean, how about a click-through contract that required you to file any and all claims in say, the U.S. District Court for the Marianas Islands? Just another adhesive clause...
their own fault! (Score:2, Funny)
And if you click 'I do not accept'... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Interesting read (Score:4, Funny)
Shorter EULA (Score:4, Funny)
In purchasing, pirating or using this product you have lost all your rights. All your bases belong to us.
Re:Simple solution (Score:2, Funny)
They forgot one (Score:3, Funny)
slashdotted (Score:1, Funny)
O. Take any action that will or could impose an unreasonable or disproportionately large load on our site infrastructure.
I wrote them about this... (Score:1, Funny)
Subject: Re: AAdvantage Account Access T&C
Date: Mon, 13 May 2002 22:38:40 -0500
From: AA Webmaster
To: me
Hello Eric,
Thank you for your comments.
Due to the overwhelming response to the new AA.com, our volume of e-mail has increased and we apologize for the delay in responding to your message.
We appreciate the time you have taken to express your opinion regarding the AA.com Terms & Conditions. It is clear that you feel strongly about this policy. Your message has been sent to AA.com management for further consideration.
We seriously consider all of our customers comments as we prepare future improvements and enhancements to our site.
Sincerely,
Fidelma Early
AA.com Web Services
Original Message Follows:
Hi,
I just visited www.aa.com in an attempt to check my AAdvantage account balance. Upon logging in, I was asked to accept some new terms and
conditions, pasted in below.
This legal document is _9_ pages long. I have neither the desire nor the time to read and understand all this legal crap just to find out how many miles I have in my account. The damn thing is longer than my apartment lease!
For example: "For use of certain services, we may provide you with a pass code. This pass code is proprietary to and the property of American Airlines." Does this mean I can't use the same password for my OnePass or Mileage Plus accounts? Even better, you reserve the right to publish, reproduce, or otherwise use my password in any way and for any purpose!
Consequently, I did not accept the T&C, and, unless there is some way I can access my AAdvantage account online without signing away my soul to AA in some one-sided, humongous tome of legalese, I'll probably lose all interest in maintaining and adding to my frequent flyer account. As far as I know, OnePass and Mileage Plus do not have such obnoxious T&C for their program websites.
What's the deal?
Worried,
Eric
Wow.. an error off the bat. (Score:2, Funny)
Well, I didn't visit 'aa.com' . I most definatley visited 'www.aa.com'... so right off the bat we have a bad contract.
Not a problem... (Score:2, Funny)