Turner CEO: "PVR Users Are Thieves"

A user writes: "It was bound to happen - 2600.com is reporting that Turner Broadcasting CEO Jamie Kellner is calling PVR users thieves. When asked why personal video recorders are bad for the industry, Keller says 'Because of the ad skips.... It's theft. Your contract with the network when you get the show is you're going to watch the spots. Otherwise you couldn't get the show on an ad-supported basis. Any time you skip a commercial or watch the button you're actually stealing the programming.' Since when have we made contracts with the broadcasters for watching their content? More of the 2600 article can be found here."

Contract with the networks

[spookysuicide]

Apparently there was no clause in the contract about quality of programming, have you seen the crap on TNT?

Broadcast Data

[sflanker]

How does receiving publicly broadcast data bind you to a contract? It wasn't in the EULA when I bought my TV.

Re:Contract with the networks

[spookysuicide]

And on another note, on most of the turner stations, the ads are the best thing they're broadcasting.

I'm the biggest thief there is

[Aash]

If skipping ads is akin to stealing, then I'm public enemy number one. Personally, I never watch ads. Whenever I tape a show, I'll fast-forward the commericals. And if I'm watching a show while it's on, I'll flick during the ads. I hate commercials.

I'd better start watching my back. The feds could pick me up at any moment.

I have been a thief for decades!

[aussersterne]

I don't look at ads anywhere -- on television, at the cinema, on shopping center walls... And yet I continue to keep my eyes open and see everything else!

I am stealing all of society! I will crush the world economy! It is my evil masterplan!

Bwahahaha! Ha-ha!

Re:I'm the biggest thief there is

[shr3k]

Yeah, I'm must be one too. I save time by turning 1 hour long broadcasts into 40 min runs by fast-forwarding through commercials.

Maybe I should start charging them for wasting my time?

Stealing

[mmThe1]

you're actually stealing the programming

Okay! I will record only the ads and watch them 200 times...hope that will compensate them for the loss...

WTF?

[Deltan]

That's right kids, your cable bill buys you.. spam! Not just any spam, but spam that talks to you and tells you how much you need their products.

I don't remember agreeing to anything about watching commercials and actually wanting to. Nowhere did I put my john hancock on a piece of paper saying, "I wanna see Billy Mays pimp more Oxi Clean to me!"

Someone explain to me PVR's are any different from VCR's with "VCR Plus!" which automatically mark commercials and skip over them when you watch a recorded tape. Same thing, except it's not instantaneous like a PVR. Why is one stealing and one is not?

AOL TW if you're reading. Wanna save some of that 45B mark down? Fire her ass, you'll save yourselves a whole lotta grief down the road.

Don't forget! When you're stealing TV (that you paid for), you're watching communism. :P

A Clockwork Orange

[j09824]

What's going to be next? This [angelfire.com]???

So wait if that is theft...

[rblancarte]

Will they pay me if I record their channel and JUST watch the comercials? It sounds like a sound arguement.

RonB

Re:EULA's for TV! Coming soon!

[gregfortune]

And the most important line buried 5000 words into the EULA right before the

"You will not mute out offensive phrases as that alters the impact of the message"

and right after

"Men must not immediately change the channel upon hearing the 'pretty flower music' that always signals tampon commercials"

resides the infamous

By pressing the 'Power' button on your remote (either on or off), you hereby agree to watch TV during each meal, for 1.5 hours before working a 8 hour day or 7.2 hours on a day off and a minumum of 3.2 hours before you are allowed to sleep. Failure to comply with this clause will find you in violation of the DMCA for using tihs product in a manner not expected by the manufacturer as well as modifying the results of our required viewer/commercial ratio."

No problem

[ragefan]

Well, i don't bother to use my TiVo to record the lame edited movies on TBS and TNT, I'd rather watch the whole movie!!

hehehe

[Edmund Blackadder]

"Forget you Ted"

Thats totaly unnessesary.

[autopr0n]

No such draconian measures are required. A simple mandatory commercial display device (CDD) will be required to be installed in the bathroom, behind (for the guys) and in front (for the ladies) the toilet.

A computer will detect when you fall asleep, and will air specially created 'sleepverts' that influence buying decisions why the consumer is asleep!

See, no draconian measures are required at all! Good behaviour will be rewarded with soma

Re:Thats totaly unnessesary.

[radja]

>A simple mandatory commercial display device (CDD) will be required to be installed in the bathroom, behind (for the guys) and in front (for the ladies) the toilet.

Oh great, I go take a crap and get treated to a tampon commercial.

//rdj

Re: I have been a thief for decades!

[Black Parrot]

> I am stealing all of society! I will crush the world economy! It is my evil masterplan!

I go further and add insult to injury, by getting up and making a peepee during commercials.

Take that! I pith on your profitability, Turner Broadcathting!

Tivo by law

[nexex]

Actually, what Ted doesn't realize is that I use my Tivo so I don't miss any commercials. When I leave the room to get a snack that I saw advertised in the previouse commercial break, I can pause the signal so I don't miss any valuable and high quality advertisements for useful goods and services! Its the people WITHOUT PVRs that are really costing them money.
So, basically I think the networks should make it mandatory that everyone have a Tivo and buy them for everyone. Of course, those of us that already have them would get a credit for a big hard drive.

Re:Is it also theft to just NOT WATCH the ads?

[ThePilgrim]

Smith. 487536 Smith, Winston. I saw you blinking suring that advert.

BB is watching you.

Re:strange things are afoot ;)

[Gareth Williams]

"laugh now. but bill and ted will have their revenge"

Am I the only one who thought of two totally awesome dudes playing air guitar when I read that? ;)

Paying extra if your telly is broken?

[Anonymous Coward]

Soon they'll say that if you don't watch enough of the programming you're paying for they'll force you to pay more; to cover their extra costs.

Mice are Thieves Too

[NotGeekyEnough]

The mice trying to get cheese without having their heads snapped off are thieves too! How are the mousetrap makers supposed to make a profit if the mice won't follow the contract they clearly agreed to by sniffing the cheese? I think we need a "Darn Mousetrap Circumvention Act" making it illegal for mice to figure out or discuss how mousetraps work or, worse yet, making their own cheese. Otherwise, all the mousetrap makers will go out of business and the world will be overrun by mice, causing the earth to implode from the sheer weight of mice upon it.

Re:disgusting

[Pogue Mahone]

(I actually saw this argument on TV a while ago, so *of course* it must be true. ;-)

The people who are paying for the TV shows are those who buy goods from the advertisers, regardless of whether they watch the shows or not - the viewers are being subsidised by those who buy anyway.

So if you really want to get your TV for free, you have to watch *all* the commercials on *all* the channels, and avoid buying *anything* from the companies who advertise. Simply ignoring the commercials isn't good enough, because you might inadvertently buy something that was advertised and thus make a contribution to the TV channel's budget.

Great!

[lunenburg]

Maybe Turner and the rest of the TV distributors will get mad at their customers and decide to withhold their precious "content" from us. I can't imagine anything nicer than turning on the TV, seeing nothing but 600 channels of no signal, and going outside to work in the garden.

Re:I'm the biggest thief there is

[oyenstikker]

I think I've got you beat. I have to pay for cable, it comes with my rent. But i NEVER watch it! Not only am I stealing the content by not watching the ads, I'm not even watching the product placement in the shows!

Re:What about boring bits...

[CaseyB]

Actually, for every 2.75 minutes of show that you skip, you're allowed to skip 1 minute of commercials. Keep a calculator handy when you watch.

Would your Kids be Accesories?

[e_butler]

If your kid was crying or needed attention during the commercial would he be an accesory to the Theft?

E

Turner CEO: Wear a diaper, dammit

[rjamestaylor]

What about going to the bathroom?

Unbelievably, he addresses this very question:

CW: What if you have to go to the bathroom or get up to get a Coke?

JK: I guess there's a certain amount of tolerance for going to the bathroom. But if you formalize it and you create a device that skips certain second increments, you've got that only for one reason, unless you go to the bathroom for 30 seconds. They've done that just to make it easy for someone to skip a commercial.

A certain amount of tolerance? What if I have a bladder infection and exceed that certain amount of tolerance? Holy Out-of-Touch-with-Reality, BatMan!

My certain amount of tolerance of overreaching entertainment industry executives has been breached long ago.

Re:If all commercials...

[Anonymous Coward]

What about the Tonight Show spoof?

Ring, ring
Osama: Hello?
Taliban #1: Jihaaaaaaad!
Osama: Jihaaaaaad!
Ring, ring
Taliban #2: Jihaaaaaaad!
Taliban #1: -aaaaaaa-
Osama: -aaaaa-
Taliban #2: -aaaaaaa-
Osama: -aaad!

Jay Leno is pretty lame, but you have to admit, that was funny. Better than all those "can you hear me now?" spoofs he does.

/me admits he watches that show from time to time...

New Regulations

[Cro Magnon]

From 7 to 9PM every household member must be fastened into the new TV chairs. They must be restrained so they cannot reach the mute, volume, or channel buttons on the remote. They must use the bathroom and finish eating/drinking at 6:59. They must be muzzled so they cannot drown out the commercials by speaking loudly. They must have toothpicks inserted under their eyelids so they cannot close their eyes. Be happy, and remember; Time Warner is your friend.

Re:EULA's for TV! Coming soon!

[agent0range_]

Perhaps:

Parents are hereby restricted from informing children of alternate forms of entertainment including, but not limited to, books, interaction with other children, or use of the imagination.

Re:Somebody has to pay for it...

[Paul Komarek]

I'm not English. I'm an American and have little knowledge of the inner-workings of the BBC. However, I have my own half-baked opinions, which in the tradition of slashdot, I'll share with public. ;-)

I think that there *is* competition in the BBC model. The competition occurs between the people who want to provide programming for the BBC. The BBC cannot afford to be complacent, because they're an easy target for politicians. If the BBC screws up, people contact their reps in government and complain, the reps make some national statement about the decline of the BBC, and top BBC management gets fired. Imagine trying to fire Ted Turner because TNT sucks.

Overall, I find I truly prefer BBC sitcoms over American sitcoms. I'll take Monty Python, Black Adder, Red Dwarf, Dr. Who, and a few others whose names I don't know (and Dame Judy rocks) over Archie Bunker, Family Ties, BH 90210, Friends, and Who's the Boss. I can live with the special effect in Dr. Who that aren't up to Hollywood standards. What I can't stand is the feeling that my brain is leaving me for someone more interesting, which happens when I see Friends.

To me, that is evidence which supports the efficacy of the BBC model, and the dysfunction of the TNT model.

-Paul Komarek

to prevent theft....

[Anonymous Coward]

Before the show starts, the viewer has to get
into a special chair that immediately shackles them in, head, wrists, waist, and ankles, and keeps them in there until it ends. When the commercial begins, little robotic arms keep they eyelids open.

Or how about a quiz-style questionaire before
the next segment begins, that the user has to
answer, kind of like the old AD&D copy
protect. Something like

"In the second Toyota commerial that was
aired during the break, what was the third
word in the song that they played in the background"?

This should guarantee that the auduience watches
all of the commercials, right?