Life on The Net in 2004 554
NewtonsLaw writes "In recent years the Net has changed very quickly from a great place for geeks and nerds into a highly commercialized marketplace in which everyone is making a grab for your wallet. If it's not wave after wave of spam in your mailbox, it's excessively intrusive ad banners and popups, or demands by websites that you pay a subscription for access.
The DMCA and other pending legislation could soon mean that companies such as Microsoft and the recording labels will cement their total ownership of your online rights -- leaving you with nothing but a hefty bill to pay whenever you want to use their software or services.
Today's Aardvark Daily carries an interesting editorial that speculates on just what life could be like in the very near future. Sobering -- but perhaps not too far from reality?"
Free Porn? (Score:2, Funny)
We don't even have porn in 2002. Guess we got a lot to look forward to
subscriptions (Score:1, Funny)
Paying a subscription? Who would think of such a thing?!?
2004 War Against Technologists (Score:4, Funny)
Narrator: Deep in the shadows and during late night hours, terrorists construct computers so they may prevent Americans the opportunity to enjoy music, film, and software.
(Display a family enjoying a movie and children listening to music)
Narrator: These terrorists are responsible for up to 30% of unemployment in our nation due to reductions in revenue for American businesses.
(Display an unemployment line and a line of Russians waiting to receive bread during the Soviet-era)
Narrator: Moreover, parts (primarily manufactured in the non-American and ugly capitalistic and piggish democractic nation of Russia) are purchased via the computer blackmarket and finance drug sales to children at schools.
(Display computers alongside dead children)
Narrator: Why would a person wish to build a computer?
(Display an individual covered by a black and dark shadow)
Narrator: Only an anti-societal and evil intention lurks in these terrorists to undermine our common courage: "one nation under god, indivisible, and united we stand."
(Display the flag of the United States of America)
Narrator: These terrorists must be reported to the Civilian Protection Team immediately! Now is the time to defend our nation! Do your part... today!
(Display a telephone and Citizen Protection Member (CPM) dressed in uniform and receiving a request from a female citizen in the foreground with the flag in the background)
Narrator 2: This message brought to you by the Council for an Evil Free America.
(Display Evil Buster Logo (TM) )
Re:Nonsense! (Score:4, Funny)
A rewrite on the life of a pirate in 2004 (Score:5, Funny)
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It's 6:30am some day in 2004.
The alarm goes and you rise from your bed to face the day's challenges.
After a quick shower and breakfast you wander over to your PC and check to see if any email has arrived overnight.
Hmm... 231 new emails but procmail say that 217 of those are likely to be spam. Even though they've cp'ed dropped into another folder you'll still have to wade through them to make sure that you don't miss an important message that might have been accidentally sidetracked by the less-than-perfect software. But, you still rm -rf them...
Damn, it looks as if you've also received 5 new virus/trojan attachments as well and one of them was 20MB in size -- that's another $4 on your DSL bill.
Suddenly a pop-up dialog box, through emulation by Wine, appears advising you that there are 2 new Windows Security updates that should be downloaded, totalling some 60MB in size (another $12 worth of traffic). You block the server in HOSTS, as so your Windows emulation doesn't tattle on you.
Within seconds, the PC's desktop comes alive with pop-up flashing, animated advertising banners -- you proceed to kill Mozilla you hacked to use with the newer, propeirty html'like protocol. You start up lynx.
Another dialog box pops up, this time warning you that the license for your copy of Windows XP2004 is due to expire in 10 days. You run the registry crack within linux so the emulation dll's will still work.
Fond memories of the days when there were alternatives to Microsoft's OS pass through your mind -- but that was before the government realised that software was like petrol -- a totally essential commodity in the lives of most businesses and individuals. Legislation was passed in 2003 that required all software developers and vendors to be licensed and a 45% tax added to all sales. However, in China, they realised that everything revolved around freely accessible software. China has changed in all thier practices, as to make thier ideal commuinist regime a very livable place for free people. Of course, much to Microsoft's glee, this killed the Open Source from being supported by companies in the US. You howver, bought a black marked copy of DRM linux. This software exploits bugs within the hardware. Of course, having the PCI64 (bought in Korea) anti-drm card has made this much easier
You type in "cnn.com" then enter the ID and password associated with your monthly subscription. Remember when there were hundreds of sites offering the latest news for free? Not any more. Sure, there still a few, but they're regularly hit with law suits by the big names who allege breach of copyright. Although such suits are inevitably dismissed -- the cost of defending them means that the independent news sites usually only last a few months at most. SO you hop onto freenet and use the strange lists of characters that somehow, somewhere lead you to slashdot.
Flicking the remote beside you kicks your digital music player into action and you marvel that 5% of its computing power is dedicated to the sophisticated digital rights management system it contains. You inwardly cheer, as your newly bought anti-drm card with DRM linux does work.
Following an unsuccessful attempt to copy-protect CDs, the recording industry forced everyone to a new mini-CD format that has yet to be cracked (although there are rumours that some Russians have succeeded). You just can't buy music on CDs anymore and the old CDR/RW media now costs $10 a disk, thanks to the $9 anti-piracy levy that was introduced in 2003. Since, the US put levies on anti-'capitalism' countries, you carry removable drives with your required software and movies on them.
Another warning appears -- "Your license for this recording has expired, unable to play." Damn -- another $49 if you want to listen to that music for another year. You then erase them, as you have all your music backed up on steel tape. You wonder, if as they claim, these new measures significantly reduce piracy, why music is now so much more expensive? "It's because of people libe me", you say under your breath.
You type up a quick email to a friend, inviting them to meet you for lunch. As to attract governmental idiots, so they use thier time on a nobody like yourself, you post as your signature the following words:
I will Bomb aeroplane shit damn nuke EMP fire death murder poison buy pirate warez mp3 ogg gpg
After all, every single bit that enters and leaves your PC is now scanned by the authorities -- under the premise that it is in the interests of (inter)national security and crime reduction. I'll make sure to be here at 4 am tomorrow, as they'll make YET another raid. They won't find a thing.
It's funny how they can supposedly detect even an unfriendly tone in an email but they can't (or won't) stop the endless tide of spam isn't it?
Suddenly your PC's screen clears and the image of a naked woman in a seductive pose appears. Oh no, more of those shlopenglaurs whatsits. You see wht pid it's running, and kill it with -9
For a moment a smile crosses your face -- you're thinking of the "good old days" when the Internet was a much simpler, saner, safer place. Instead, you live on the edge of piracy, illegitimacy. You are a hacker.
Then you return to reality with the realisation that it's just 7:05am and the sucker's accound you hacked already spent $264.
_______________________________________________
As a last note, I used this article without permission (I see this differently than normal slashdot cut/paste jobs). So I give full permission to aardvark.co.nz to use my article (even if it makes money (heh, like thats going to happen, but still...)
CARRIER LOST....
Re:2004 War Against Technologists (Score:2, Funny)
You meant Evil-Free America, right? Or, *raises eyebrow dramatically*, did you?
Re:The same thing thats wrong with stealing,lying (Score:1, Funny)
Any group theorist will tell you that doing what is best for yourself AND society will reap more rewards over doing what is only best for yourself. In addition, everyone else benefits from the actions of individuals.
Instead of asking "Why should I care?" why don't you ask "Why shouldn't I care?"
Re:unfortunate (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Viruses (Score:2, Funny)
Crispin
----
Crispin Cowan, Ph.D.
Chief Scientist, WireX Communications, Inc. [wirex.com]
Immunix: [immunix.org] Security Hardened Linux Distribution
Available for purchase [wirex.com]
Re:It's called 'capitalism' (Score:5, Funny)
Sure they have good PR. They have convinced everybody that they are "heroes" for rescuing people from burning buildings, or helping out others during 9-11 but make no mistake those fuckers are union members. The teachers are always whining about underfunded schools, long hours, old books, uncaring parents, delapidated buildings as if it wasn't all their fault our educational system is all fucked up. If they would just dissolve their unions then we can pay them even less and make our schools so much better.
Oy, I cannot compete (Score:3, Funny)
Fnord, man... Fnord.
-B