FBI Wants to Tap The Net

Majik was among the stream sof people submitting this story about the FBI wanting to tap the net. Makes carnivore look like a baby monitor since this tracks all packets, and would be placed at key locations on the net.

FBI just wants all the good pr0n

[kcornia]

You know that's what they're after. Hoover left a more lasting legacy than we know...

Whoa, this is getting confusing!!!

[ekrout]

Whoa, this is getting confusing!!! What happens if an FBI agent uses a Windows machine running some packet-catching/sniffing program to "tap the 'Net"? Wouldn't this be a crime since they'd be using a terrorist-harboring operating system (see last Slashdot article) to search for terrorists? Uggghhh...

Re:FBI just wants all the good pr0n

[Tackhead]

> FBI just wants all the good pr0n
> You know that's what they're after. Hoover left a more lasting legacy than we know...

I dunno, transvestite pr0n may be your thing, but it's not mine. Then again, I don't work for the Feebs.

("When I asked for a color TV in my hotel room, this is not what I meant!")

Re:always assumed this is being done

[Anonymous Coward]

all your freedom are belong to [censored by FBI]

Guess no more CounterStrike for me

[Dolly_Llama]

After the FBI comes knocking at my door asking me why I always play T.

Those poor FBI agents...

[Knunov]

Scene: Windowless van parked next to the sidewalk under a streetlamp. Two slightly overweight first-year FBI agents sit in the van splitting a box of Crunch-n-Munch. The air smells like two slightly overweight first-year FBI agents eating Crunch-n-Munch.

Agent 1:"Turn on your monitor. The sniffer is receiving something."

Agent 2 wipes the crumbs off his hands against the leg of his jeans and flicks the switch on his flatscreen.

Agent 2:"It's coming in. It says: 'ALL...YOUR...BASE...ARE...BELONG...TO...US...' What the fuck does that mean?"

Agent 1:"I don't know, but add it to the MOVE ZIG and FOR GREAT JUSTICE files. I think we're onto something.

Meanwhile, down the street, a ten-year-old geek chortles and crawls under the covers.

Self caused DoS

[Felinoid]

This thing is going to track what?
I give it a week before the packets flood the data storage and crash the spying hardware.
I give it a day before it starts loosing data to keep up.
I give it an hour before someone figures how to bypass it
I give it 15 seconds before somebody finds a way to trigger a national alert that there are terrorists at a former employers location.
I give it a month before Microsoft realises the Windows in testing is crashing due to packet moddifications by FBI due to a minnor defect in FBI software. Blame the FBI Os.. retract when they discover it's Win 2K.. and clame the problem is still there when the FBI fixes it by switching to BSD... (Thought I was gona say Linux didn't ya?)

well...

[vrmlknight]

all they have to do is ask al gore he invented it anyways....

Welcome to the future

[Aceticon]

FBI Agent: You are being detained for questioning.

Detainee: But i didn't do anything wrong.

FBI Agent: Acording to the data from our tracking systems, your toilet paper consumption rates, the number of gardening books you buy per year and the number of bad jokes about CmdrTaco that you post on Slashdot per week match those in our profile for "Higly Dangerous - Possible Megalomaniac Persons". To prevent any crimes from your part we are hereby detaining you for psychiatric treatment.