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Apple Claims That Jail-Breaking Is Illegal

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on Fri Feb 13, 2009 01:39 PM
from the never-underestimate-the-power-of-greed dept.
rmav writes "Apple has finally made a statement about jail-breaking. They try to sell the idea that it is a copyright infringement and DMCA violation. This, despite the fact (as the linked article states) that courts have ruled that copying software while reverse engineering is a fair use when done for purposes of fostering interoperability with independently created software. I cannot help but think that the recent flood of iPhone cracked applications is responsible for this. Before that, Apple was quietly ignoring the jailbreak scene. Now, I suppose that in the future we may only install extra applications on our iPhones as ad hoc installs using the SDK, and if we want turn-by-turn directions, tethering, and the like, we have to compile these apps by ourselves? Maybe we should go and download the cydia source code and see what we can do with it."
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[+] Mobile: iPhone Jailbreaking Still Going Strong 166 comments
snydeq writes "Despite the productivity promises of Apple's forthcoming 3.0 firmware update, jailbreaking should continue to push the iPhone's productivity envelope, as users increasingly demand the Holy Grail of smartphone power use: applications that run in the background, InfoWorld reports. Copy and paste, video recording and streaming, Internet tethering, and content search are just a few of the features over which iPhone users have sought to jailbreak their devices — a practice Apple itself has done little to crack down on. Jailbreak apps circumvent hardware and software restrictions that Apple says ensure a consistent, responsive user interface and optimal battery endurance. In particular, jailbroken phones can run apps in the background, a capability Apple reserves for its own apps but prohibits in third-party programs. Jay Freeman, creator of the Cydia iPhone installer and Cydia Store, however, believes a free-market approach is the best way to satisfy power users' demands for features without compromising the performance of their iPhones. And given Apple's App Store overcrowding, it seems likely that jailbroken phones and app venues like Cydia Store will continue to be popular with iPhone customers and developers, even after the 3.0 firmware ships."
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  • by mc1138 (718275) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:41PM (#26847019) Homepage
    People never get up in arms about something till it effects them personally. What a load of crap apple.
      • by Hijacked Public (999535) on Friday February 13 2009, @03:22PM (#26848567)
        Who do you buy your gasoline from?
          • by cyn1c77 (928549) on Friday February 13 2009, @05:23PM (#26850319)

            Who do you buy your gasoline from?

            I don't buy it. I bike, walk and use public transit.

            .I bet you think you're clever though, with your pithy "Who do you buy your gasoline from" crap.

            Like living with ideals is an impossible and ridiculous thing that nobody really does and no one is really expected to do. Personally, I disassociate myself permanently from people and organizations I don't like. Won't work for em, won't buy from em, won't be involved, won't help make them strong. Hell, I didn't like what my government has been doing last number of years, so I stopped paying my taxes. Almost went to jail for that, but my hands are clean. I did not help them.

            ...therefore I'm really just passing the hardship along to others. That makes me accountable to those others, and I may one day be called on to pay the piper, and if they come for me, it will be right and good and my own damned fault.

            It's called taking responsibility, maybe you ought to look into it.

            What are you 12 years old? It sounds like you think you're the clever one. The world isn't black and white, it's shades of grey and sometimes you have to compromise and work with people and organizations you don't like to make progress.

            Just because you don't agree with elected government officials doesn't give you the right to stop paying taxes and push the cost onto other citizens under some retarded form of social protest. By living in the country, you are accepting the whole package, including agreeing paying taxes, regardless of who is elected.

            If you don't like it, legally fight for change or GTFO. You can't bury your head in the sand and just ignore things you don't like.

            • by Risen888 (306092) on Friday February 13 2009, @07:27PM (#26851609)

              What are you 12 years old? It sounds like you think you're the clever one. The world isn't black and white, it's shades of grey and sometimes you have to compromise and work with people and organizations you don't like to make progress.

              Yep, that's the working model of our culture, all right. And it is full of fail. "Working within the system" doesn't do it. I have this argument with a particular friend of mine almost weekly, and he's a well-meaning guy as I'm sure you are, but he's wrong and so are you.

              For God's sake open a newspaper, it's all over the front page. That bit about the "economic meltdown?" Or the "climate crisis," the "energy crisis," and on and on and on? It's because people decided it would be easier to just cut a deal. Our practicality, our comprimises, our working with people and organizations we don't like, has completely fucked us.

  • Means nothing (Score:5, Interesting)

    by halivar (535827) <bfelger@gmUMLAUTail.com minus punct> on Friday February 13 2009, @01:42PM (#26847027) Homepage

    Apple can claim whatever they want, and can sue whoever they want for DMCA violations. C&D's are freely distributable.

    Whether or not that claim has the weight of law is up to a judge, not a marketing director.

    • Re:Means nothing (Score:4, Insightful)

      by morgauo (1303341) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:02PM (#26847323)

      And if Apple Corp. was suing you with some strange interpretation of the DMCA today and the legal dream team it must be able to afford...

      What you be confident that the judge would sort it all out?

      • by TheMeuge (645043) on Friday February 13 2009, @03:33PM (#26848751) Homepage

        Look, it's very simple.

        Saying that jail-breaking an iPhone is a violation of the DMCA, is the same thing as claiming that if I own a Blue Oyster Cult mp3, and edit the file to add even MORE COWBELL, I would be committing a DMCA violation.

    • by Simonetta (207550) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:04PM (#26847379)

      I'm a simple-minded person. So correct me if I am misunderstanding this situation:

        Apple makes a little plastic box with an LCD screen, a battery, and a circuit board and sells it to people in retail stores. And they claim that there is some kind of law that prohibits anyone who buys this little plastic box from opening it, determining how it works, and telling other people how to make it work better. Unless, of course, they pay Apple more money beyond the money that was paid for the little plastic box at the retail store.

          If this is a correct interpretation of the situation, then I have to agree that this company is delusional and that they will have a difficult time adjusting to 21st-century reality. These marketing major fantasies may have had some credibility in the 20th-century, but they are meaningless as the economy collapses.

          Reality is reality. If you are exploring the circuitry and firmware of a little plastic box and someone comes up to you and tells you that you are engaged in illegal activity by doing so, politely simply to ask them to go away and something constructive with their short time on Earth. If they persist or attempt to physically prevent you from your examinations of your property (your little plastic box and circuit board), then just shoot them. Don't even give it a second thought. There are far too many people in the world, and the fewer delusional assholes running around making trouble for the rest of us, the better. They won't be missed. When even Republicans are talking about economic collapse, then you know that It's a new world out there. Anything that you can do to make the world a better place for reality-based people to live in (such as sharing iPhone knowledge and applications), to more welcome you are in the new world of the post-20th century fantasies.

      • by Shakrai (717556) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:11PM (#26847463) Journal

        then just shoot them. Don't even give it a second thought.

        Then continue your study of the internal workings of the iPhone from pound-me-in-the-ass prison ;)

      • by atraintocry (1183485) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:31PM (#26847807)

        And they claim that there is some kind of law that prohibits anyone who buys this little plastic box from opening it, determining how it works, and telling other people how to make it work better.

        Depending on the circumstances, the DMCA can do exactly that. However, there are some allowances for reverse engineering and if memory serves correct there is some case law regarding cell phones specifically which says that it's OK to open them.

        I could be wrong on the second part but my point is that it's not black and white.

        This is a lot like Nintendo saying it's illegal to dump a ROM. The situation as described by written and case law is more complicated, but it serves the company's interest to *basically* lie to people, in order to fight what they see as *basically* piracy.

      • by Sparks23 (412116) on Friday February 13 2009, @03:33PM (#26848749)

        Apple makes a little plastic box, sells the boxes and licenses the software. People modify the software to allow you to write to the 'secured' portions of the device storage, thus allowing third-party software to be installed and device functionality to be modified. Apple turns a blind eye.

        Jailbreaking folks come up with a way to unlock the radio baseband, making it possible to use a SIM card from any provider in the phone. Cellular companies who want exclusivity complain when phones are unlocked to work on any network. Apple complies with the cell companies' demands and makes changes to prevent unlocking. Apple continues to turn a blind eye to the jailbreaking itself, though does warn folks that if you modify the software they can't be responsible for supporting the modified OS.

        Apple releases a new version of the OS containing a locked-down sandbox for third-party apps, allowing people to install apps without jailbreaking. People continue to jailbreak the phones to use private APIs (allowing tethering) or do things like have apps that run in the background and so on. Apple continues to turn a blind eye, and apps exist in both realms.

        Someone in the jailbreaking community comes out with a way to basically point-and-click 'crack' software bought from the App Store, and allow people to send it around freely for jailbroken devices. Some app authors find up to 2/3rds (especially for games) of their users are using pirated copies that weren't paid for. Much fuss and to-do on blogs, news sites, etc. App authors complain to Apple that there needs to be Something Done! Oh noes!

        Apple, after a year and a half of turning a blind eye to the jailbreaking scene, suddenly makes an abrupt about-face and says 'Jailbreaking is verboten.'

        Now, none of us are in the heads of the Apple folks behind this decision, so we can't say for certain whether the sudden shift is due to the EFF's claims, or Crackulous, or maybe just random whim or signs read in tea leaves in the Apple cafeteria. But the timing and sudden nature of Apple's shift here does make a connection to the Crackulous brouhaha at the least a strong possibility.

        • by MBGMorden (803437) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:16PM (#26847563)

          Copyright (it least in it's original form) governed the reproduction and distribution only. If you purchase a legally produced copy of the work, then it is then yours to do with as you see fit. Saying that you can't modify software that you've legally purchased is akin to saying you can't doodle in the margins of a book you bought. And no, just because the publisher decided to print "THOU SHALT NOT DOODLE IN THYN BOOK." on the first page doesn't change anything.

            • by MBGMorden (803437) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:37PM (#26847907)

              And see that's where it gets a bit hazy, and questionable legally.

              I purchased a device that had software on it - or I could have purchased a CD, or even a file. That is, and always has, been purchasing a copy of the object. And THAT is what copyright law allows. It doesn't allow producers to sell "rights to use" something - it allows them the legal right to copy it, and then distribute it as they want (which usually means selling it). Beyond that though they lose control of how you use it. YOU certainly can't copy it again except where copyright law allows via fair use, but you already own that copy and can do with it as you please, without any regard to the original copyright holder because again, that copy has been sold.

              Again, copyright law was created primarily when books were what was talked about, and hence they make a perfect analogy. IT DOESN'T MATTER that after the publisher sees that people are ignoring their first page directive not now doodle the book. If they now decide to claim that "You're not really purchasing the book anymore. You're purchasing a license to use it and the pages are just a delivery method.", then they still have just as little (ie, none) capability of saying that you can't doodle in your book. Because when applied sensibly, the "only a license, not a copy" argument is complete and utter bullshit.

            • by russotto (537200) on Friday February 13 2009, @03:03PM (#26848309) Journal

              You're not purchasing the software. Almost nobody purchases software.

              Yes, I am. Looks like a sale, quacks like a sale, it's a sale. If it were a license, it would have to be established under ordinary contract law, with all those nasty legal formalities and meetings of the mind and such -- given that neither Apple (based on the Safari for Windows EULA snafu) nor most of the users ("just click Agree and the box goes away") actually reads the thing, it'd be pretty hard to establish that.

              Since the software contains controls, Apple could argue those controls are being circumvented (which is illegal under DMCA) for gaining access to protected works for infringing purposes.

              Unfortunately, you may be onto something there. According to the 2600 case, it doesn't matter whether the work was sold or not. No one argues that DVDs are licensed rather than sold. Yet the Circuit Court in the 2600 case decided that for a purchaser to circumvent the copy protection to gain access to a copy of a work _which he owned_ was a violation of the DMCA.

              • by db32 (862117) on Friday February 13 2009, @03:36PM (#26848779) Journal
                Bullshit. Sorry, but it is. Did you know that if you form a business partnership without an agreement it defaults to a canned thing under the Uniform Partnership Act. So you can make your own agreement or default to the one the law already has. There are tons of contracts that you have to deal with on a daily basis that don't involve lawyers and negotiations and such. The only real requirement is that both parties agree, and read it or not, clicking agree means that you agree. If you recieve a service somewhere, such as a doctor, mechanic, etc, and then refuse to pay you can be sued for breach of contract because it was an implied contract.

                Business classes or Law classes would help you understand that sales neither walk nor quack and will go a long way to clarifying how businesses interact. Like it or not, they are selling licenses and it is perfectly legal. The only times it really has gotten beaten up is when they try to add illegal crap to the license (such as removing First Sale) and trying to prevent me from selling my license to someone else when I don't need it. (See AutoCad)
        • Phones run software. Software is copyrighted. Modifying the software - that is, creating a derivative work - is unauthorized and may well represent a breach of copyright law.

          No. Let me help:

          Distributing an unauthorized derivative work may well represent a breach of copyright law.

          First sale law dictates that I am free to make whatever modifications I like to any software I've bought. The EULA attempts to form a contract with the user, so the actual legal question (IANAL but come on, we've been discussing this with the assistance of the occasional lawyer for many years now) is whether a EULA is binding. My understanding is that this is still very much up in the air. Right now it is, I believe, the fulcrum upon which the Apple vs. Psystar case rests. I think most of us understand that you're not permitted to redistribute someone else's copyrighted material absent the express permission to do so (which is why the GPL only grants freedoms and does not restrict them - at least as compared to unlicensed copyrighted media, if not material released into the public domain. But there I go on a tangent again.)

        • by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 13 2009, @03:14PM (#26848463)

          Ok, Fine,

          Um, Guys, It's time to start the iPhone linux distro.

          I suggest we call it "Screw you apple" but I'm willing to be voted down on the name.
          The logo on the other hand WILL be an apple with a giant screw completely through it on a jaunty angle.

          Meet you at sourceforge.

        • Modifying the software - that is, creating a derivative work - is unauthorized and may well represent a breach of copyright law.

          Um, no.

          distributing a derivative work that is unauthorized is a breach of copyright law. Making one for yourself is not.

  • by 8127972 (73495) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:42PM (#26847035)

    ..... Because they could potentially make no money off the apps that are installed via jailbreaking. The rest of their reasons are just a smokescreen. Plain and simple.

    • by PotatoFarmer (1250696) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:51PM (#26847161)
      Alternately, they've finally realized that they can't win on technological grounds. Apple undoubtedly has some incredibly smart people working on plugging these holes as fast as they can, but at the end of the day it's a handful of folks vs. the rest of the world.

      If you can no longer innovate, then it's time to litigate.
    • by kalirion (728907) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:21PM (#26847651)

      Exactly. From the page about the Cycorder app [iphonehacks.com] linked to in TFA:
      "The free native iPhone app appears to be much better video recording app than iPhone Video Recorder which costs $19.95. "

      • by Jon.Laslow (809215) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:59PM (#26847285) Homepage
        Not to nitpick (actually, yes - this is complete nitpicking), but Jailbreaking relates to running unsigned code on the phone (and giving full access to the filesystem). Unlocking is what allows people to use other carriers and SIMs.
      • by cdrudge (68377) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:00PM (#26847301) Homepage

        Isn't the developer "license" something like $100? Plus, even with a $.99 app at 70%, Apple is still making ~$.30 for providing very little disk space and bandwidth to download it. It all adds up.

      • by jlarocco (851450) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:04PM (#26847375) Homepage

        The true motive isn't profit,

        That's just silly. When a giant corporation like Apple makes a decision, the underlying motive is profit. Always. Hell, even when they do stuff like donate money to charity, they do it because they expect the good will they'll get from doing it to be worth more than they're donating. That's just how big companies operate.

        I don't know why they're doing this, but I'm 100% certain they're doing it because they think it'll help them make more money.

        • That's just how big companies operate.

          That's actually not true at all. Corporations are collections of people, and within them are coalitions and constituencies just like any other institution. Quite often, you'll have someone that wants a corporation to do something simply because they think it is cool and they really don't care about the profitability or business climate of it. They must justify some action in that regard, to cover their rears, but their mental game has already made the leap that they want to do something with the corporation just because they think it is cool.

          So, when a company builds a school somewhere, sponsors a race, hires a speaker who climbed mt everest, invests in some wild technology, or any of the other things that corporations do, they do it because they think it is cool, and then they cover their rears to the shareholders and directors by inventing some elliptical story about profitability.

          In fact, to many of the world's top business leaders, the whole point of the corporation is to exist to provide some social order and some revenue so that it can fund the private ambitions of its leaders. I mean, come on, do you really think if IBM funds something like a big art exhibit, they really sincerely think that doing so will yield a return? No, they do it because the board of IBM likes art, and that's that.

          It's good to be a CEO.

  • Apple Lock-in... (Score:4, Insightful)

    by idontgno (624372) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:45PM (#26847063) Journal

    When marketing and Reality Distortion (tm) fails, call in the jackbooted thugs and sue the dissidents into submission.

    This, more than anything, is why Apple will never get one coin from my wallet.

  • Hehehe (Score:5, Funny)

    by Who Is The Drizzle (1470385) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:45PM (#26847067)
    The EFF analyst has apparently been browsing Slashdot for far too long cause even he is using car analogies!

    One need only transpose Apple's arguments to the world of automobiles to recognize their absurdity. Sure, GM might tell us that, for our own safety, all servicing should be done by an authorized GM dealer using only genuine GM parts. Toyota might say that swapping your engine could reduce the reliability of your car. And Mazda could say that those who throw a supercharger on their Miatas frequently exceed the legal speed limit.

  • Remember kids... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by NotQuiteReal (608241) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:46PM (#26847081) Journal
    Just because something is legal doesn't make it right.

    Just because something right doesn't mean it is legal.
  • Bad summary (Score:5, Informative)

    by richdun (672214) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:49PM (#26847131)

    First off, this is coming now not because of some perceived "recent flood of iPhone cracked applications," but because the Copyright Office asked for exemption proposals to the DCMA on December 28, 2008, and the EFF filed one for jailbreaking. RTFA and RTFlegalbrief.

    Second, while not effectively the same, what Apple is doing is trying to prevent jailbreaking from being ruled legal, not trying to have it ruled illegal. Being a non-lawyer, I'd at first say this is the same thing, but it is different. Just because something isn't ruled explicitly legal doesn't make it illegal, but would definitely help if some day someone wanted to sue over a jailbreak.

    Engadget has a nice write-up on this from someone who has legal training if the three or four of you out there who don't just read the summary and post would like another perspective - http://www.engadget.com/2009/02/13/apple-and-eff-spar-over-iphone-jailbreaking-and-the-dmca// [engadget.com]

  • by Dekortage (697532) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:51PM (#26847157) Homepage

    So Apple is doing this to protect its income for apps on the iPhone store. That also means it is protecting the income of application *developers* who sell through the iPhone store. Sure, they could try to sell apps only for jailbroken phones, but with all the gray areas around it legally (at least in the public's eye) and with the immense ease of use of the iPhone store (click and download right now!), they would much rather go Apple's route. Right? So Apple could be covering its ass, making sure they don't get attacked from iPhone developers who have trekked through the process to make "legit" apps but could be someday losing out to jailbroken competitors.

    Or else it's just about the money.

  • Great... (Score:5, Insightful)

    by Anita Coney (648748) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:56PM (#26847235)

    Yet another company taking the high road of suing their customers for profit!

    • Re:Great... (Score:5, Insightful)

      by crmarvin42 (652893) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:43PM (#26848013)
      No, they said that they don't want to have Jailbreaking made legal. There is a big difference between not wanting the routine violation of your EULA made legal, and actually bothering to sue someone over it.
  • An Honest Question (Score:5, Insightful)

    by A. B3ttik (1344591) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:02PM (#26847329)
    Don't take this as flamebait... I am looking for honest answers:

    How is jailbreaking an iPhone different from removing DRM from a game?
    Am I wrong that Jailbreaking an iPhone simply allows you to use more applications on it?
    Is this not "Fair Use?"
    Is it true that there are free, non-stolen programs that wouldn't normally run on an iPhone without it being Jailbroken?
    Or is Jailbreaking simply a means to running pirated iPhone apps?
    • by Overzeetop (214511) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:21PM (#26847643) Journal

      It's all nuances. Provided that modifying the software on your own device is considered fair use (and I would presume that unless you are violating something else like FCC regs it is), then you - personally - are not guilty of violating the DMCA. However, anyone who helps you is violating the DMCA. The DMCA is an odd law in that it specifically preserves the right to fair use, while making it illegal to assist anyone in exercising fair use.

      In this way it is the same as DVD decryption software: legal to decrypt your disc for fair use (including standard playback in licensed players and copying for backup or format shifting), not legal to sell or traffic in the software or any instructions on how to do so.

      I don't own an iPhone, primarily because the applications - especially the free (beer and speech) ones - are far more limited than for the wmobile market, and because I have an investment in wmobile software I would have to abandon if I switch. That and the iPhone can't do GPS if you're out of cell service (or couldn't as of 4 months ago when I upgraded my phone)...and that's where I need it the most.

  • by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 13 2009, @02:08PM (#26847427)

    Apple is about one thing: control.

  • by Torodung (31985) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:49PM (#26848109) Journal

    "Want to get sued? There's an app for that."

    --
    Toro }B^>

    • by mc1138 (718275) on Friday February 13 2009, @01:47PM (#26847087) Homepage
      It's been going like this for a while, just look at their business practices, the only thing they have going for them is that they're cool.
    • Re:And so it begins (Score:5, Informative)

      by Xtifr (1323) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:04PM (#26847381) Homepage

      Begins!? Apple is the only major vendor to have been actively boycotted by the FSF for their efforts to obstruct freedom, force lock-in and undermine competition. Even Microsoft[*] hasn't managed to reach that high water mark. Of course, Apple has come a long way since then, and many of our younger readers may not even remember what they were like at their worst. ("Look-and-Feel" anyone?) Still, those of us who remember the bad old Apple keep a wary eye on the new-and-(mostly-)improved Apple.

      [*] FSF members may not run MS OSes, but they do actively support building software to run under MS OSes, and will even accept patches to help their software run better on MS OSes.

      • by sjames (1099) on Friday February 13 2009, @04:10PM (#26849311) Homepage

        I still remember well the 'special' tools required to open a Mac's case.

        • by Anonymous Coward on Friday February 13 2009, @03:41PM (#26848895)

          Much of Apple's webkit enhancements are now proprietary and not submitted back. ⦠Further, the little they do submit back has given them leverage to control the package against public interest: I.e. Webkit rejected support for Ogg/Theora+Vorbis citing Apple. (Apple is a holder of MPEG LA licensed patents).

          Go check the gcc mailing list archives. No apple employee is permitted to come in contact with any GPLv3 licensed source code, they had to unsubscribe from GCC-patches mailing lists and have requests people not send patches to the main gcc mailing list.

          Apple is an exploiter of free software. Sometimes giving back is in their interest, but don't let that mislead you into thinking that they are a supporter.

    • Are you kidding? (Score:5, Insightful)

      by Cajun Hell (725246) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:15PM (#26847547) Homepage Journal

      Microsoft has never been as litigious as Apple. Apple may make vastly overwhelmingly superior products to MS, but they have also always been more evil.

      The only way Apple can become the new Microsoft, is if they stop suing people so much, and also make their stuff crash a lot more often. As things are right now, there's just no comparison. The two companies' suckiness are totally different.

    • by MightyYar (622222) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:17PM (#26847587)

      Apple has long been far WORSE than MS. The difference, of course, is that your life is extremely unlikely to be impacted by avoiding Apple's products.

    • by gandhi_2 (1108023) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:03PM (#26847343)

      No, it's like Toyota suing you if you tried to make your own NOx kit for your own use.

      If monkeying around voids the warranty, fine. If monkeying around is outlawed...then only outlaws will have monkeys...er. um. wait.

    • by david_thornley (598059) on Friday February 13 2009, @02:03PM (#26847345)

      The normal demographic buys the iPhone, signs the AT&T contract, and shops at iTunes and the App Store, all as Steve Jobs intended when he created the world.* Only true geeks buy iPhones to crack them, and we know that Apple doesn't care that much about the true geek community. In other words, wrong answer on the motive, although the advice to not buy an iPhone if it isn't what you want is spot on (yeah, it's only common sense, but that's getting darn rare nowadays).

      Disclaimer: I have an iPhone, an iPod, and a Macintosh (it sits near one of the Ubuntu computers and gets used now and then). I do, however, generate my own reality distortion field, and don't use Jobs'.

      *Yeah, I know Steve didn't really do it, and God only thinks he's Steve Jobs.