MS Seeks Patent On Virtual Fuzzy Dice

theodp writes "Microsoft just published a patent application for an adaptive heads-up user interface for automobiles. It covers, among other things, virtual fuzzy dice that appear to move with automobile movements."

Air freshener

[mattb112885 (1122739)]

Did they patent a virtual air freshener too? Because I really need one.

I'll say!

[ClayJar (126217)]

Did they patent a virtual air freshener too? Because I really need one.

I'll say. I can virtually smell you from here. :D

Horn

[ciroknight (601098)]

..is more necessary. Nothing sucks more than traffic jams on the Information Super Highway. No way to signify that better than being as absolutely obnoxious as possible

Re:

[MoriaOrc (822758)]

I think I might be able to find some prior art for "Being obnoxious on the Internet," though...

Re:

[MrNiceguy_KS (800771)]

Don't forget Virtual Middle Finger! (tm)

Obviousness Criteria

[ThosLives (686517)]

Hopefully this will fail the new obviousness criteria; note that it is still just an application. Basically, they are combining existing technologies in their obvious functionality: methods to change configuration information and display various information to vehicle operators.

I don't see any innovation here at all; they are combining elements and the result is the expected result for combining those elements.

Re:

[PinkyDead (862370)]

This sucks:

GM/Ford/BMW (or whoever) patents putting information on the windscreen -- Hmmm useful.

Microsoft [attempts to] patents putting more information on the windscreen -- WTF?!

Wasting the patent office's time should be a crime. I wonder could patent a bigger wheel - I'd make a fortune.

Re:Obviousness Criteria

[GIL_Dude (850471)]

I'm not sure it would even be that useful if GM/Ford/BWM or whoever did it. It would probably be ad-supported anyway. Can you just imagine?

Hey, driver - you need new wiper blades. Check out the specials at Pep Boys (tm)! While there, get an oil change!

I just hope that never comes true!

Re:

[conspirator57 (1123519)]

My dell here does that for me. It's let me know for the past 6 months that my battery "is still working, but nearing the end of its useful life." The same notice provides a handy "come on down to the web dealership..." notice and link to dell's shop. It does this each time the laptop starts. Oh, and the laptop is one year old, so it was six months old when it started this crap.

Re:Obviousness Criteria

[djh101010 (656795)]

Oh, and the laptop is one year old, so it was six months old when it started this crap.

Seems to me, that'd be a great time to call Dell for a warranty replacement of the battery. Make their advertising scheme cost them. "Your app tells me that my battery, which is only 6 months old, is already crap. Send me a new one."

Re:

[Phroggy (441)]

Then they can either send you a new battery any, or tell you how to fix it. Or both (if they send you a new battery and that doesn't solve the problem, then they can tell you how to fix it).

Re:

[TheRaven64 (641858)]

Elite Plus for RiscOS had a set of virtual fuzzy dice. They were quite useful, since they gave a good indicator of your current roll speed, without having to look down at the roll indicator. I wonder if they would count as prior art for this. The only difference is that the input for a real car comes from a sensor, rather than a simulated environment.

I have some...

[by Anonymous Coward]

I have some fuzzy dangling things that they can try and patent.

Re:I have some...

[CrtxReavr (62039)]

If you'd wipe better, you wouldn't have so much prior art.

-CR

Great

[by Anonymous Coward]

Just what we need from a heads-up display: something which conveys no useful information and serves only to distract the driver from their main job of keeping the car on the road. This strikes me as a perfect example of the rule that, simply because you can do something, doesn't mean you should.

Re:Great

[somersault (912633)]

"Simply because you can do something, doesn't mean you should."

I thought that was one of Microsofts' main beliefs.. simply because they can put out (largely) pointless new versions of Office and Windows, they do. They also charge insane amounts for little extra functionality, just because they can. At least people are catching on a bit with Vista.

Nothing new here

[Gazzonyx (982402)]

Unfortunately, consumerism isn't driven by the "ability does not dictate necessity" mentality. Just take a look at the cars on the road to see this in action. How many SUV's do you see? There would be no Escalades if people didn't want lots of "chrome". We're all guilty of feeding this cycle, as I see it.

Re:

[Gazzonyx (982402)]

That's a very good point; I think that companies 'forcing' software on people is the other half of the viscous cycle - if they don't, their competitors will.

I think we're all partly responsible for Microsoft being what it is. And I'm saying this, mind you, as a Linux user. If Microsoft didn't 'push' software on us, Apple would; if Apple didn't, IBM would... Sun... Novell... your friends neighbors brothers nephew ("...and everyone says he's a real whiz with computers, and he's writing this software tha

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[Locutus (9039)]

Didn't you know that they had promoted the designer of Microsoft BOB to the auto research department?

LoB

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[slashname3 (739398)]

The other issue is that we finally get to experience the punch line to that old joke, stopping the car every 100 miles to reboot it.

And just think of all the accidents when the blue screen of death obscures the entire windshield...

What will they patent next...

[downix (84795)]

I can't wait till the virtual dancing hula girl arrives.... She could probably even dance to show you the direction to turn when plugged into your GPS.

Re:

[Andrewkov (140579)]

You should patent that before someone from Microsoft reads your post!

Wonder if they will assist..

[CIANCHAMBLISS (955013)]

First Clippy, now Dicey?

Re:

[Billosaur (927319)]

And pretty soon... Andrew "Dice" Clay, "Dice-K" Matsuzaka, and the Diceman [diceman.co.uk].

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[kimvette (919543)]

That would be redundant; everything coming out of Redmond lately is already pretty dicey. ;)

Patent Coverage?

[OctoberSky (888619)]

Does this patent cover anything that sways when hung from a virtual car and virtually sways?

I'm really concerned about the virtual nutsack I have hanging from my virtual trailer hitch on my virtual truck.

Even scarrier than patants

[Ukab the Great (87152)]

Vista Riceboy Edition

Re:

[Nimey (114278)]

I think you mean "Vista Type R". It comes with a big sticker that's good for an extra 200 MHz.

Re:

[Kazymyr (190114)]

And a body kit that adds 1463 points to the 3DMark score.

Great

[epseps (39675)]

Now cars will become part of a massive spam sending botnet.

Virtual Fuzzy Dice?

[Chineseyes (691744)]

Microsoft is getting into the porn industry?

Arcades

[Gyga (873992)]

I once played an arcade racing game where you race trucks and one of them had purple dice that showed up on screen and bounced around in your view.

Re:Arcades

[Neon Spiral Injector (21234)]

Sega's Rad Mobile [wikipedia.org] had a virtual, fuzzy, Sonic dangling from the rear-view. He bounced and swayed with the movements of the car.

So THIS is what delayed Vista!

[jpellino (202698)]

At least at Apple, OS revs get way-layed by iPhones. But this...

Prior art

[Kazymyr (190114)]

I have had fuzzy dice that move with the car movements for as long as I can remember. And it's a mechanical device too, not your fancy digital dice. Now excuse me, I gotta go put holes in some punchcards.

Another driver's distraction!

[G4from128k (686170)]

Just what the motoring public needs, another source of distraction. I can see it now. People will hack the fuzzy dice to do all sorts of amusing things, notice them while driving, and crash (physically, not in the software sense).

On the plus side, I would imagine this "feature" will get the device banned under California's no "entertainment" video displays in sight of the driver whilst the car is in motion.

Distractions

[sjaguar (763407)]

Okay, if done nicely, I wouldn't mind a heads-up display (HUD). But does the general driving population need more driving distractions? Also, would other drivers be able to see it (say from behind)? Other vehicle's TVs and crap dangling from the rearview mirror always bugs me.

Virtual....

[JeremyGNJ (1102465)]

I cant wait to get one so I can have...

My own....
Virtual......
Jesus

Re:

[Zordok (90071)]

If it's virtual, how can you "reach out and touch faith"?

WTF? Dice? Nobody will pay for that!

[Colin Smith (2679)]

A huge finger on the other hand...

 

I don't care if it rains or freezes...

[Internet Ronin (919897)]

... as long as I got my digital Jesus, riding on the dashboard of my car.

Virtual Fluffy Dashboard

[flyingfsck (986395)]

Hey, where is my virtual fluffy dashboard and virtual coffee can conversion?

So... What's Next?

[blcamp (211756)]

A patent on Virtual Flying Chairs?!

Can they ....

[PPH (736903)]

...display virtual loose bits of paper, assorted junk and fast food wrappers that slide back and forth on my dashboard as I go around corners?

Re:queue microsoft crash jokes

[mwvdlee (775178)]

Will there be a GPS-based clippy that gives directions to places you don't want to go?

Re:

[somersault (912633)]

Yeah - you can't use your brakes until you answer his questions.

The questions use Microsoft's excellect speech recognition technology :) ( http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-112322121 7782777472 [google.com] )

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[Andrewkov (140579)]

"You appear to be in an accident, air bags are about to deploy. Cancel or Allow?"

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[somersault (912633)]

Heh.
"You appear to be crying out in pain, do you wish help writing a complaint to the manufacturer?"

"You appear not a DMV certified driver, HUD functions will be limited to wanted stars and health levels"

Re:

[Kazymyr (190114)]

Gives a new meaning to "Where do you want to go today?"

Re:

[Alioth (221270)]

There'll be DRM, so it should really be "Where will we allow you to go today?"